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Or is DH: bouncing me into talking to someone I had a falling out with a long time ago?

(26 Posts)
quesadilla Sat 23-Mar-13 21:27:55

DH was friends with this couple when I first met him. I always hadn't doubts about them - thought they were a bit dodgy (fiddling the housing benefit etc and was fairly sure the woman was a serial cheat - this later turned out to be true.)
Things came to a head when DH (accurately) accused the girl if cheating on her DH with a mutual friend. The couple ganged up on him and accused him of being a fantasist etc. what really tore it was when they asked me to the woman's baby shower, asked me for a very specific and detailed list of presents that came to about forty quid (which I bought), and then when I arrived they proceeded to publicly lay into my husband, saying he was trash, he married me for my money (which is a joke) and he was jealous of the husband and in love with the wife. Etc. I made my excuses and left but felt crushed and humiliated. A big row ensued. Fast forward five or six years. My DH and I now have a kid. I have been very clear with DH that I don't want anything to do with them. DH has since been in contact with the husband on a couple of occasions, says he is very sorry etc. I have said I have no problem if DH wants to see the guy but I don't want anything to do with either of them. In one recent conversation I said maybe there would come a time when I would talk to the husband but he was never going to be a friend.
DH goes out earlier to do some shopping, has a drink with a friend. Calls me to say he has bumped into the husband and is going to have a quick drink with him. Fine. Except he then proceeds to give phone to the husband and expect me to make small talk with him. I am incandescent with DH for his emotional fuckwittery. We have since had a big row. AIBU to think he should have warned me before he thrust me onto the phone with someone he knows makes me feel stressed just thinking about?

quesadilla Sun 24-Mar-13 10:48:00

Whereyouleftit quite. I just feel sometimes one needs to draw a line. Forgiveness is admirable if people take responsibility but just acting like nothing ever happened is corrosive.

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