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MIL gave Dd a big present I hate, what to do?

(135 Posts)
Mashedupbanana Sat 23-Mar-13 18:30:55

Today MIL turned up with a present for our 2 yo Dd. it's a bright pink slide (dd's not seen it yet). I know I will sound really ungrateful but it really is not something that I would want to look at in the garden. My tastes are very different from MIL, I prefer more natural, creative, gender neutral, well constructed toys whereas MIL is quite the opposite - if it's plastic, flashes and pink she loves it. I think dd would probably enjoy going on the slide and that's the most important thing, but it's really not my kind of thing.

Realistically I dont want a plastic slide in the garden, but I have come to the conclusion that i'm just going to have to suck it up and have it. I don't like pink things like this as I think they look tacky and if we have a son next it is too gender specific. It doesn't matter with little things I can pack in a box but with a slide it's very visible. If i have to keep the slide, would I be unreasonable to ask if I can swap for it for the more neutral red one. At Christmas they wanted to buy her a pink trike and we gently suggested something else as we'd prefer to buy a balance bike, but I can see this coming up every time. What would you do?

Mashedupbanana Tue 26-Mar-13 12:43:48

Yeah everyone's happy pretty much. I still think they should have checked first but it's now green so blends in a bit more smile

SquinkieBunnies Mon 25-Mar-13 22:44:21

Glad MIL was OK about changing the colour, so everyone's happy?

MeerkatMerkin Mon 25-Mar-13 18:25:06

Oops didn't see the last post. Glad you've got it all sorted OP!

MeerkatMerkin Mon 25-Mar-13 18:24:16

YABU. A slide is a a slide. I'd be quite happy for my DS to be given a pink slide - we can't afford one. In fact, if it bothers you that much we'll be happy to take it off your hands! grin

CandyCrushed Sun 24-Mar-13 18:34:04

Don't be too suprised if she oesn't give your DD anything else for awhile wink

Mashedupbanana Sun 24-Mar-13 15:03:02

Right we swapped it today, asked MiL and she was fine with colour change. Thanks all. I do need to do something about my relationship with MIL though and have posted in the 'what would you do' board - any advice gratefully received.

LittleEdie Sun 24-Mar-13 14:05:14

Swap it!

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 24-Mar-13 12:41:38

That post was full of mistakes. Too pregnant to spellcheck smile

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 24-Mar-13 12:38:29

I think yanbu actually. I wish wish wish people would ask before buying big things or furniture. Toys or whatever, small things, then fair enough. But big items, garden stuff and furniture is part of the house and I think just because you've got kids doesn't mean your opinion gets totally negated. I wouldn't dream of buying someone a garden table or a sofa without asking them? Why is this different?

My in laws and parents do this to me all the time. For ds's first birthday they all turned up with massive toys. A police car, a slide (yellow), a rocking horse that neighs (which ds is terrified if and is still too big for him to ride and he is nearly 2 now), and a quad bike. All of which sounds lovely except we were living in a tiny rented flat with one living space the size of a postage stamp, no loft and no garden confused And before anyone suggests keeping these massive items at theirs, neither my parents or my in laws have a garden either. I ended up tripping over it all and I had to keep the slide in the bath for ages. It was a massive pita. I'm not backwards in coming forwards and I said, look, this is all lovely but what were you thinking? They were all really apologetic but nothing could've been returned as they had all taken these things out oft he boxes, built them and stuck ribbons on it all so it was used and not returnable. We have moved now into a bigger house with a yard and ds's birthday is in 2 weeks. I've had to have a word with them all and say LOOK we are already bursting out of this house. DO NOT buy anything big. Do not do not do not.

Luckily we all get on really well. Mil especially has form here for non baby items. She has previously turned up at our various flats with a double bed (for our one bedroom flat) a massive armchair (for our fifth floor bedsit with I lift and one room we were already busting out of) and, just free out wedding, her old three piece suite. No warning, just arrives with this massive thing she no longer wants in her house gifts. I've sent her to the charity shop on all 3 occasions.

You don't have to nod and smile. Shove the slide on Oxfam and tell her someone came in the garden and nicked it smile no shame, me

Xmasbaby11 Sun 24-Mar-13 12:04:54

My MIL is the same but luckily it's only a few clothes in her case.

Since it's a slide, which is a gender-neutral toy, I don't think it would bother me too much that it's pink. A fairy castle or similar would be another story. Like others have said, if it's just the odd thing, it probably balances out.

ScrambledSmegs Sun 24-Mar-13 11:49:39

Think you're very wise, Mashed. Just as an aside, those plastic slides fade like a cheap spray tan - red will fade to pink outdoors very quickly, pink will go almost white. So don't worry too much about the colour.

DoeEyedBeauties Sun 24-Mar-13 11:33:48

It's good of you to realise what the real issue was Mashed. Not many people can figure that out so quickly. thanks

countrykitten Sun 24-Mar-13 11:31:38

How is a pink slide too 'gender specific' for a boy? Sounds like you haven't really got a clue tbh.

hackmum Sun 24-Mar-13 11:28:13

YABU. It's not as if she bought a toy gun or something. She bought it to be kind because she thought it was something your DD would like. So as everyone else said (more or less): 1. Your DD will probably love it, which is the main thing, 2. You can't have children and maintain a home full of good taste, it just isn't going to happen and 3. If you have a boy next, then you can show off what a fine gender-stereotype-busting mother you are by letting him play on it too.

crashdoll Sun 24-Mar-13 11:25:54

YABU, it's not your present. Also, I don't get the pink hate. I would certainly not want my DD to have everything pink but the odd thing here and there (if SHE liked it) would be fine.

Mashedupbanana Sun 24-Mar-13 10:49:58

... just as I had come to terms with the fact I was being unreasonable and going to keep the little pink horror grin

Mashedupbanana Sun 24-Mar-13 10:47:36

No it's not little tykes, it's the Chad valley one. Ooh just looked up Little Tykes on line... maybe I can swap it for the Little Tykes green one

VinegarDrinker Sun 24-Mar-13 10:23:34

MrsDeVere speaks wise words. And your last post is spot on OP.

If it makes you feel better though, my first instinct would have been exactly the same as yours. Luckily we have a smallish flat and small garden so everyone knows not to buy DS "big" presents, regardless of taste.

WeAreEternal Sun 24-Mar-13 10:22:15

I would just say " thank you for the gift, I'm sure dd will love it. I think you should keep it for your garden so that you can watch her enjoying it every time she visits."

WhatTheWaterGaveMe Sun 24-Mar-13 10:17:07

Explanation under my first post catching grin

I wouldn't have replied if I'd seen the rest of the thread wink

Catchingmockingbirds Sun 24-Mar-13 10:10:28

Very true mesdevere, as demonstrated by whatthewater grin

WhatTheWaterGaveMe Sun 24-Mar-13 10:08:28

My silly phone only showed up the first page grin

Good for you :-)

WhatTheWaterGaveMe Sun 24-Mar-13 10:07:13


It's a slide for your daughter which will not last forever.
My mum also got my DD a pink slide for our garden - is it the little tykes one? It's not tacky either - think you are being a bit snobby there

MrsDeVere Sun 24-Mar-13 10:04:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

acceptableinthe80s Sun 24-Mar-13 09:34:00

But OP you're the one stereotyping. Why would a boy toddler think all the pink toys were his sisters? He would only think that if you pointed out pink was for girls iyswim.
Besides you'll soon find out how practical plastic garden toys are, wooden ones get weather beaten very quickly, have sharp corners etc whereas plastic stuff can be cleaned easily and is generally more child friendly. I've had a red plastic slide in my garden for 3 years, it's been battered by gales/snow/rain and looks none the worse for it.

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