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To let DS feed himself from the highchair tray?

(311 Posts)
mistressploppy Sat 23-Mar-13 17:26:22

Long, sorry...

Birthday lunch for a family friend at a country pub. 8 adults, DS1 (3yo) and DS2 (13mo)

We eat out a lot with the DC so they behave pretty well; no shouting, chucking food etc. DS1 eats like a mini-adult, uses cutlery, no probs. DS2 feeds himself nicely and has done for months (BLW) but as his pasta has arrived as an enormous adult-sized portion on a plate, I pick up a dollop or two and put them on the tray of his highchair. He scoffs away. The babywipes are poised next to him.

Waiter(asst.manager/supervisor?) hovers; 'is there something wrong with the plate?'
Me; confused 'sorry?'
Waiter; 'IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE PLATE?' (crossly, with sarcasm)
Me; <stammers> um, oh, was a bit hot...he tends to push the plate around...might get broken...I WILL clean the tray myself and wipe up any mess when he's finished...
Waiter;'oh, it's just I couldn't believe it when I saw you just dumping it on the tray like that'
Me; shock
DH; Er, hang on a minute mate, that's how he eats? No harm done! Do you have children?!'
Waiter; 'no, but I was one once, and my mother would never have just put food in front of me like that...she'd have fed me properly'

At this point my bottom lip went blush and DH asked him if he'd meant to be so rude(!). He then said; 'well, half of your party were 30mins late for the booking, and then she (gestures) dumps food straight on the table....'

I got a bit upset. Soothing noises ensued from all our party. After about 20mins he returns

Waiter; 'um, right, about earlier; I'm sorry you were upset but... '
Me; (cutting in) 'are you apologising?'
Waiter; 'no, thank you for cleaning up, but I stand by what I sai..'
Me; (nicely) 'I don't want to hear it, thanks!'
Waiter; (loudly, while walking off with his hands raised in despair) 'Ok, fine, you just carry on doing that in every restaurant you go to and see what happens...'

shock and grin


Samie10 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:41:04

I'd be happily typing an email to the management...go on do it and let us know the response....what a tosspot!

wrongsideoftheroad Sat 23-Mar-13 17:42:31

YANBU. I used to take a little spray of dettol and some baby wipes with me to clean the tray first and do the same as dd2 was also a thrower.

I did get one of those suction bowl things to take out with us, but forgot and left it in a restaurant on our second outing.

whiteEASTER Sat 23-Mar-13 17:43:21

YABU and gross.It's not exactly good table manners is it.You might well do it at hom bit that doesn't mean to say you should when you are out.
Also the hygene issue- dishwasher operates at a high temeperature to sterilise crockery.A wipe down won't do that.

VerySmallSqueak Sat 23-Mar-13 17:43:45

Given my past record to be honest I would probably have got up and left and told them they could keep their bloody food.

Then I would have to mooch about outside wondering if the rest of the party was going to follow me...blush

Traceymac2 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:44:18

He was extremely rude regardless of whether he was unhappy with what you were doing. He is representing the restaurant and should present himself as polite and professional at all times. So no YANBU and should complain to the manager.

I agree with the hygiene issue though, even using baby wipes god knows what bugs are lurking on a restaurant high chair. I would want to sterilise it first before I would put food on it!! I would use the one at home though in this way as the tray can be detached and washed thoroughly.

MurderOfGoths Sat 23-Mar-13 17:44:21

I'd have complained! How rude is he??

Floggingmolly Sat 23-Mar-13 17:45:23

The neck of him!
I complained about a two year old on a potty in the middle of a pub restaurant once, well, I primarily complained about the fact that the child stood up and ran off to play, and the parents left the steaming pot of piss just sitting there, but the manager seemed too embarrassed to approach them confused
Your one seems to have enough balls for both of them.

BeeBopDingALing Sat 23-Mar-13 17:45:53

YADNBU what a dick. Hope you complained to the manager about his rudeness.

louisianablue2000 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:46:00

How spectacularly rude. I am a BLW oldie and in my five years/three children experience of BLW I have never have anyone make a negative comment, let alone one as rude as that! YANBU.

everlong Sat 23-Mar-13 17:47:05

I suppose from his point of view it did look odd.
Just plopping food on the tray.
Other people have to use the high hair too.

But he shouldn't have been as persistent as he was.

strawberrypenguin Sat 23-Mar-13 17:49:52

hwbu! That's how DS eats too, giving him a plate would be a disaster! It would be straight on the floor. He had food on the high chair tray in restaurants too and it's never been a problem! Hope you complained!

MerryMingeWhingesAgain Sat 23-Mar-13 17:50:46

I have done the same and would again.

Give the baby a plate - the whole plate of food goes on the floor in one go.

Put food on tray, some gets dropped, some gets eaten. I would clean the tray again afterwards. Mini dettol spray in the changing bag, easy as pie.

OrangePetals Sat 23-Mar-13 17:50:54

Do the people worried about hygiene go about steralising the floor in front of their crawling babies? They do stick everything in their mouths at this age you know, a highchair that's been wiped is the least of your worries.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sat 23-Mar-13 17:52:16

What a twat!!

My DS eats all his food off the highchair tray. He throws a plate on the floor. If I'm out I always clean it first.

Complain, he's a prized tool. I wouldn't have been as calm as you were.

SneakyNinja Sat 23-Mar-13 17:52:53

Are you kidding me?! Can't believe anybody would say YABU here?! What an absolute Grade A Prick!

Which restaurant is it? I will make sure to go there, do exactly the same as you and make him Very sorry if he talks to me like that! angry

Tinymrscollings Sat 23-Mar-13 17:52:57

YADNBU. And good lord I'd not be in the slightest concerned about the provenance of the cleaning cloth. My 13 month old, in the company of most of the toddlers I know, spends a goodly proportion of his day scrabbling underneath furniture and stealthily ingesting whatever he finds there. I'd suggest a quick wipe of a tray with a wet wipe would probably suffice, hygiene wise.

tazzle22 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:53:16

he was very rude ........... I would have complained to manager. Your DC would prob have left less mess than many by picking food up with fingers off tray than deliberately / accidentally tipping plate off the tray !

I worried about germs one of them sticky bottom plastic bowls are great to take along if one thinks about it before hand grin. Harder to throw as well grin grin

wheredoistartmrs Sat 23-Mar-13 17:56:15

Yanbu especially
since you cleaned up. Ywbu for being late.

everlong Sat 23-Mar-13 17:59:39

Hang on if you're eating out in a restaurant you can't just act like you would at home.

The waiter didn't handle it very well, he shouldn't have made you feel bad but I think he was within his right to ask about it.

I think. I don't get blw. Never did it. Always looked too messy.

TittyBojangles Sat 23-Mar-13 18:00:43

shockshockshock COMPLAIN. That is shocking customer service.

RabidCarrot Sat 23-Mar-13 18:01:06

Wow, I would have demanded to speak to the manager, I would write a letter of complaint to the head office and to be really honest I would have told him to fuck off and most likely tipped the bloody pasta over him but then I am evil grin.

Don't let idiots get to you. x

Massive plate. Normal high chair tray.

<<slow hand clap for whoever thought that a good idea>>

Can't see any issue with what you did.

Personally. I would write two letters.

One to the restaurant complaining about the waiter.

And one to the waiters mother. Lauding her skills at feeding her child and expressing sadness that she did not extend this devotion to installing basic manners and a degree of professionalism into him.

MajaBiene Sat 23-Mar-13 18:09:24

Even if you just did normal weaning everlong, surely a 13 month old should be feeding themselves?

Why was he in his rights to ask about it - what harm was food on a high chair tray going to do?

VerySmallSqueak Sat 23-Mar-13 18:11:13

I have to say that I'd be so incensed my local paper would be getting a letter too.

hermionejgranger Sat 23-Mar-13 18:11:31

Oh dear. What a very rude and childish man. Nice response from Mr Ploppy though! YADNBU. I would definitely complain about his attitude. What a cockwomble.

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