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AIBU?

In wondering if the less 'organised' activities children have, the more creative they are?

33 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 22/03/2013 14:05

Just wondering this one and would be interested in others thoughts. I have 3 boys and they have never really done organised structured activities (as in paid classes etc). The most has been swimming lessons and my eldest did a baby /toddler music group when younger. We don't do anything at weekends other than visit family, hang out at home, play football in the garden, go shopping etc. They usually have at least one friend over to play a week.

My two eldest age 3 and 5 (the youngest is a baby) can spend hours and hours drawing, playing together and reading books and comics. The stuff they come up with is fab and IMHO very creative. I was talking to another mum recently who said her kids don't sit still so they do 8 activities a week! I sometimes feel bad that my kids don't do lots of classes but then I wonder if 'neglectful' parenting might actually be helping them to be creative and able to entertain themselves?

OP posts:
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SuedeEffectPochette · 22/03/2013 14:10

I think it is a great gift to children to be able to amuse themselves and work out what to do to entertain themselves. Hence I am on Mumsnet whilst my twins repeatedly watch Numberjacks!

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IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 22/03/2013 14:14

You would have to do a shit load of activities to not have time to hang around and draw. Even my ultra sporty ds who spends upwards of 10 hours a week in leisure centres on top of homework and music practice can entertain himself for hours with craft or lego or whatever.

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Trills · 22/03/2013 14:16

YABU - you sound like you are trying to justify your choices by saying "the other choice is wrong" rather than "this is what suits us best".

Just because you make choice A, you don't have to say that there is anything wrong with choice B. It is just that choice A suits you and your children better.

You don't have to say that doing activities stifles creativity in order to feel better about not doing lot of activities.

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Arabesque · 22/03/2013 14:16

I think you have a point. Some children nowadays seem to get little or no time to just make up games, read, use their imaginations and be creative. I think some of it is down to too much organised activity, some of it is due to spending a lot of time in front of the television or computer screens and some of it is down to having so many wind up ready to go toys, gadgets, ready made costumes for dressing up and so on that they're often not left with the scope to have to use their imaginations to create something.

(But there was a thread on here a couple of weeks ago on a similar theme and some posters got very angry at the suggestion that too many windy up, all singing all dancing toys might leave little left to the children's imagination).

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BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 22/03/2013 14:17

'Neglectful'? hardly.

My DD goes to no organised activities whatsoever - she doesn't want to (i have tried with various activities but she is too like me and knows what she likes and is happier on her own terms)

I actually feel for both the parent and the child who have clubs/hobbies every single day - when is their downtime to just be normal or be bored? being bored is a valuable thing to understand, otherwise you spend your entire life looking for excitement and real life ain't like that!

However, I am sure it is down to the individual child and what it takes to keep them happy, some need extra stimulation whereas others are happy in their own environment. I dont believe there is a right or wrong way.

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IslaValargeone · 22/03/2013 14:18

My dc isn't really into structured activities. I practically have to drag her out of the house, although she goes to drama class without too much cajoling.
She spends hours inventing and making stuff and lots of ordinary things become 'events' almost. For example if we watch a nature thing on tv she rushes around to dress up David Attenborough stylee and brings all her stuffed animals with her. Dh thinks she's an odd ball, I prefer imaginative.

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BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 22/03/2013 14:19

meant to say, DD is never in the house - she plays out constantly with friends in out street. Old fashioned or what Wink

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DeWe · 22/03/2013 14:22

I think you're overthinking this.
You have children who like to sit at home doing quiet activities. The other parent has children who like to do more active things with others. Neither is wrong, neither is neglectful or harmful to the child.
Different children like to do different things, and different parents have the patience for different things too.

And as they get older they may want to do more classes. And the siblings have to be creative and entertain themselves while the other does their activity.

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BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 22/03/2013 14:22

Grin Isla - we went on hols to Skye last year, very nature oriented holiday. DD spent the entire holiday being either Kate Humble on Spring Watch or doing a Steve Backshall Deadly 60. the dogs were her crew and very willing they were too Grin

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ilikeyoursleeves · 22/03/2013 14:25

I'm not saying there's a right or a wrong way either, I've just been thinking about this cos sometimes I think I should be doing more classes with my kids, there just seems to be pressure to get them into after school activity etc. And it got me wondering if they'd do as much playing and drawing etc if they did do lots of organised stuff. I know each child is different and I'm not at all saying the other choice is 'wrong'.

OP posts:
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superpushymum · 22/03/2013 14:26

I think YABU, my 3 year practices an instrument every day and goes to football twice a week, but he also loves reading and crafts, and plays with his lego and playmobil for hours. I think his activities encourage his creativity, not stifles it.

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IslaValargeone · 22/03/2013 14:30

Haha Brian, that sounds very familiar.
She's upstairs as I speak, trying to make a cravat and a grey wig from newspaper because she's channeling Beethoven at the moment.
Heard Moonlight Sonata the other day and wants to learn it. (She isn't even grade 1 yet :o )

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aldiwhore · 22/03/2013 14:33

I think there's a balance.

Answering your title alone, I think that children are at their most creative when allowed to BE creative, my field is Drama, and I have noticed that if you give NO structure at all, you get very little in the way of creative thinking, too much structure and the same result. The best results, enjoyment/creativity/devloping ideas usually come from a careful combo of structure, guidance and freedom/room for the child to move the stimulis forward themselves via discussion, play, group work or solo contemplation.

From your op I do agree that children can become self entertained if given the chance to do so, but that doesn't mean there's much wrong with out of school activities at all (though I do feel that the balance is off in many families, usually through the feeling that they ought to, there's HUGE competition amongst parents in our area - either to be completely self sufficient, or join as many groups as their are waking hours) with most of MY parenting I try and strike a balance between good things.

My children certainly benefit from the couple of clubs they belong to, from a social viewpoint and it's very good for them to mix with children who they don't go to school with. We also do not have weekends that have a set routine... we have few commitments (other than care of my FIL) at weekends and although we often go out for the day, we also have plenty of weekends where nothing is timetabled, and my children do entertain themselves happily once they understand I'm taking off my clown nose for the day!

Therefore OP I feel YABU for bolstering your good ways by putting down other perfectly good ways.

My children aren't keen on colouring in even though they can entertain themselves happily.

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IslaValargeone · 22/03/2013 14:34

We do know a child who does an activity every night after school, three clubs on a Saturday and one on a Sunday. Sometimes she looks so desperate to just hang out or do nothing. That kind of intense activity seems too much (in my opinion)

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BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 22/03/2013 14:34

Grin Oo, she'll go far! DD currently has her heart set on starring in Les Mis, very loud she is too!

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Wallison · 22/03/2013 14:34

Do your kids want to go to organised activities? And do you have the time to facilitate that? I think those are the key questions as to whether or not they 'should'. Not all kids want to, and not all parents are able to allow for them in terms of time/money.

I don't know if there's a link with creativity or not. My son does a few activities - I suppose that compared to some kids his time is quite structured. But he can entertain himself very happily - he reads loads, and writes little stories and creates comics and instruction manuals for imaginary gadgets (mostly to do with time travel) builds creations out of junk, makes cities with lego etc so I don't think his creativity is hampered.

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wordfactory · 22/03/2013 14:37

I have twins.

One is the emperor of activity. A day doesn't go by without Lacrosse club or drama rehearsals or a singing lesson. Usually a club at lunchtime and one in the evening.

The other not so much.

The former is far more creative than the later.

Just their natures!!!

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dixiechick1975 · 22/03/2013 14:37

Your children are still young though.

In a couple of years then they are more likely to want to play for a football team, go to beavers (boy scouts) etc

There will still be time to play and amuse themselves.

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KitchenandJumble · 22/03/2013 14:38

I do think you have a point. IMO, children need unstructured time. The over-scheduled life can backfire spectacularly, developing a perceived need to be entertained 24/7. Frankly, I think it is absurd to send a 3-year-old to multiple structured activities. As children get older and discover various interests, a class here and there can be great fun. My own personal comfort level would be no more than two activities per week for the 7- to 12-year-old crowd. Creativity does thrive on free time to think, ponder, play with clay, draw, etc.

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mrsbungle · 22/03/2013 14:38

I agree with Aldi.

My DD is 3 and a half and does one swimming lesson, one ballet and one tap lesson per week. Whilst at nursery she also does dance and a half hour of spanish.

When at home (which she is 2 days per week with me and all weekend) she is painting, play doh ing, colouring. She loves play mobil too. I also think she is very creative.

There is definitely a balance to be struck and some kids, no doubt prefer a lot more of one thing or the other. DD likes a bit of both.

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wordfactory · 22/03/2013 14:39

aldi I was giving a workshop of just that earlier this week. That structure provides a framework for creativity. Endless choices often result in paralysis of artistic thinking Grin

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IslaValargeone · 22/03/2013 14:43

I should have said grade 1 piano rather than school age. She's 11.

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BoffinMum · 22/03/2013 14:43

I caught my 3 year old and my 11 year old lying on their bellies on DS2's enjoying a pop video on YouTube which involved a lot of ladies' bottoms yesterday, having hacked into the parental controls. I can't decide whether than is creative or not.

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alphablock · 22/03/2013 14:44

Up until recently I would have said YABU. Every child is different and some will be more creative than others, some will like structured activities, some won't etc.

However, I was surprised recently at a friend's house when her DS kept complaining of being bored and her DD kept asking her mum to suggest ideas of what to play. My DD who is the same age (8) was bemused as she has a long list of favourite make believe games, but the other children seemed to want more adult involvement/structure. My friend and I both work part time, but my friend relies more heavily on afterschool/holiday clubs/activities as she likes to ensure she has plenty of child-free time, whilst I try to maximise the time I spend with my daughter.

Having said that, my DD may be more creative as she is an only child and has to amuse herself, whilst my friends twins may need more structure because they are different genders and are starting to have fewer activities that they both enjoy doing.

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IThinkOfHappyWhenIThinkOfYou · 22/03/2013 14:45

My 9yo probably has the same time to be bored as your 5yo as most of his pool time is after a 5yo's bedtime.

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