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see. i knew this would happen. and now i am pissed off.

(147 Posts)
TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 07:59:28

dh. New job. Different hours. Further to drive. His car drinks more fuel than mine.

I predicted that he'd want to take my car not his. Financial logic agrees.

But I am actually pissed off.

It is my car. Mine. I bought it. I paid for ut. Mine.

And now it is my day off. All I need to do is tske DD and pick her up from her friday thing. I hate driving his car.

Be gentle. I have an evil cold and have yanked my back coughing. And i hurt.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:15:49

Ssd. You are slso coming across as annoying for not reading properly.
There is no public transport at early or late shift times. Bike is not an option if I want to stay alive. A car each is a necesdity not a luxury.

Of course I am being illogical and ridiculous. That adds to my pissed offness. But it is still my car. And bring proved right does not soothe me much.

And my back hurts.

LedaOfSparta Fri 22-Mar-13 08:16:56

He can sell his car and buy a small economical one and use that. Then you can have your own car back and you will all be grin .

I sympathise though, I hate dh. using our 1 car as I can't get the seat back into the perfect position and I have to faff with the mirrors.

Startail Fri 22-Mar-13 08:18:16

As for owning two cars, you simply wouldn't live here without two means of transport.
When work was nearer DH had a motor bike, but he now has a hour commute.

Nearest bus is 3 miles away

NewAtThisMalarky Fri 22-Mar-13 08:18:26

Why are people getting all competitive?

Op - i'm annoyed
Reply - my situation is worse so ner
Another reply - mine is worse too so of course you are being unreasonable

Whether the op is unreasonable or not does not depend on anyone else's circumstances. Are people jealous?

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:19:26

It is a truly tragic situation isn't it and not at all first world oh no

I need a new plan for my day off niw.

I think cake, cheese, P&P in bed.

OHforDUCKScake Fri 22-Mar-13 08:21:57

That'd piss me off too!

Emilythornesbff Fri 22-Mar-13 08:30:31

Sell his wretched car and buy your dd a pony. wink

WhatchaMaCalllit Fri 22-Mar-13 08:35:29

Get him to sell his car (the one you don't like driving) to get a new(er) one that you do like driving - problem solved!

dopeysheep Fri 22-Mar-13 08:38:32

I don't think you are giving his car a chance. Maybe if you just take things slowly at first and take the car's feelings into consideration you will be ok? Imagine how rejected the poor thing must feel if neither of you want it today?
There will also be jealousy of your car as it will be seen as the favoured one.
Give the big car a chance!

glenthebattleostrich Fri 22-Mar-13 08:40:29

I'm with you OP. I suggest a clever murder scheme and then spending the insurance money on a newer, even nicer car and you wouldn't have to share! Of course, I'm just in a bad mood because not so DH discovered my secret chocolate stash and raided it whilst I was asleep last night so my advice may not be best.

And I know I'm lucky to be able to afford chocolate, never mind the cupboard to put it in. (said with heavy sarcasm in case anyone is wondering)

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:40:40

He does need to flog his stupid car and get a more economical one.

But his argument is that once a year we need a bigger car. Mine is little and plastic. But i think that for the one occassion a year when we need a bigger one we coukd cope.

Also both cars are crap. If he sold his for a tenner a different smaller one would cost more.

Fuckit. I can't be arsed. His problem. I'm going to take sone good drugs and go to bed.

GladbagsGold Fri 22-Mar-13 08:48:28

What cars have you got? We have one car which is big and cumbersome but I am used to it. Now and again I need to drive something else and I hate getting used to another car where everything is in a different place.

Suggest you make yourself keep driving 'his' car until you are used to it. Have a bar of chocolate each time you drive it, so you can Pavlov-train yourself into loving it.

Get well, soon, cake and cheese in bed sounds like a good plan though I am not sure about P&P, surely Jiffy bags won't improve things??

Shesparkles Fri 22-Mar-13 08:48:37

No, YANBU for feeling like you do, but... You know it makes sense though. Fwiw, I completely understand how you feel about the driving. When you are used to driving a smaller car, it can be quite nerve wracking having to drive a bigger one as you worry about misjudging the size etc.

This. This is unreasonable!!!(of it is behind your reluctance to drive the other car)

I by no means belong on the feminist boards, but this attitude from women is what almost sends me into orbit. For the love of god stop being so pathetic and go and learn to drive a car other than your little "wife's car". Why do done women take on this silly little woman persona when it comes to driving? If you can't drive anything bigger than a roller skate then you shouldn't be n hue of at all.
Or how about making a joint decision about which cars you buy, so you're tooth happy and confident about driving them both?
There's only 1 way to get more confident in the other car, and that's to get in and drive the bloody thing!

LimboLil Fri 22-Mar-13 08:55:52

I'm crap at driving too. I have an ancient Ford which I am comfy with. Hub has a BMW estate, company car, much posher than mine and gets more approving looks from the snotty parents on the school run but I just prefer my car. Not sure that being a wife comes into it. Just the way it is. The funny thing is when it snows, hub wants my car because it doesn't get stuck in half an inch of snow like his. lol.

TeggieCampbeggBlegg Fri 22-Mar-13 08:56:54

I can drive it. I am confident driving it. I just don't like driving it.

They are both old and crap but the big one is like driving a sodding tank, while the power steering is marginallly better in the littler one.

melika Fri 22-Mar-13 09:00:18

Yanbu, my DH always insists he has the biggest chunkiest engine in his car, usually bigger than my car. We haven't got the problem at present because we were broken into and the car was stolen. Which was almost a relief to me. He has a eco friendly Astra esate to run around in now.

Tell him to sell his car now for a more economical one, its his problem, not yours.

Indith Fri 22-Mar-13 09:02:54

I understand the feeling OP.

Come on now stop being mean to the poor Teggie. She knows she IBU, she has agreed that her dh can use her car because it is the most sensible option, she is just sad that it means she has to drive his car instead. That is a perfectly reasonable feeling.

I don't think it is about not being able to drive anything that isn't a little "wifey" runaround, it is just about driving a car that you are not used to. We all feel a bit odd the first few times we drive a new/different car. You have to fumble a bit to find the gear stick, you manage to retune the radio and wash the windscreen before you finally hot upon the indicator, that sort of thing.

You will get used to driving his car though Teggie if you now have to drive it on a regular basis.

GladbagsGold Fri 22-Mar-13 09:03:52

Sorry didn't mean to make you out to be 'feeble little woman driver' - totally appreciate that the problem is you don't like it rather than anything else. I fecking hate the 'ooh that's a big car for a lady to drive' attitude.

ivanapoo Fri 22-Mar-13 09:04:40

YABU - you should be smug that you chose the better car for driving and for saving money and the extra £ saved should go on treats for you

I do sympathise a bit though - I have a shiny new awesome car with dab radio and isofix and featherlight steering and the beepy thing when you reverse which means I hardly ever drive our other big old car and when I do it's so heavy and takes loads more effort. Goes like shit off a hot shovel when you accelerate though.

AgathaF Fri 22-Mar-13 09:04:56

You shouldn't be snuggling a new baby with an evil cold anyway.

It will all look so much better when you are better.

LtEveDallas Fri 22-Mar-13 09:07:17

Dear God, lots of competetive sadding on here this morning.

I'm the same Taggie. Get unreasonably irritated if DH uses my lovely little Punto and leave me with the Estate. We need the estate - we do a lot of long distance driving that just wouldn't be practical in the Punto, but I still feel like I'm behind the wheel of a tank in the family car.

(See I'm even more unreasonable than you - The Punto is MY car, the Estate is the FAMILY car! Poor old DH doesnt get a look in grin)

Get to bed and enjoy your drugs. I am very envious.

Pootles2010 Fri 22-Mar-13 09:08:53

That does sound bloody annoying. You chose your car because you like it and it fits your needs. He chose to buy an un-economical car, without thinking it through, and now he wants best of both worlds and you're left with crappy car!

I'd be annoyed.

FryOneFatManic Fri 22-Mar-13 09:09:59

DP and I have our own cars. We are insured to drive each other's car, but generally don't do so.

Mine is a smaller car, just enough to get myself and the 2 DCs around, and we use his as the family car when all out together.

I hate it if he drives my car, because if the seat gets adjusted it'll take me ages to get it just right again. And if the seat is wrong, it can cause a lot of pain in my shoulder (I had tendonitis in the shoulder a few years ago, caused, I suspect, by a badly positioned car seat).

And the stuuf I have in the car is specific to me, eg spare glasses, cds, etc and it's not always convenient to swap stuff around.

INeverSaidThat Fri 22-Mar-13 09:10:25

I like driving my own car too. (Even though my DH's is a 'better' car).

I think you just have to suck it up though sad.

JourneyThroughLife Fri 22-Mar-13 09:10:27

I'm with you Teggie on this one. My car is MY car. No-one drives it. I adore my car. When I was married my husband was the same with his car, he wouldn't dream of letting me drive it and he didn't take mine. We were both happy with that and that's how we chose to operate, it worked for us. It also prevented the feelings you're having now. I suggest you keep your car for yourself, and if your DP's car isn't suitable for his curent needs, he sells it and gets a different one. Sorted...

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