to be sick and tired of the older generation..(73 Posts)
Not really that sweeping, but specifically gps/parents of adult children who talk crap about how wonderful they were at parenting and how the current generation is failing. Recent examples:
-'my grandson is afraid of dogs, I would never have allowed that. All my children liked animals'
-'my gcs are five and can't swim, my dil just doesn't do much with them'
-'I saw a child watching a cartoon on an iPad while the parents chatted and ate dinner in the restaurant, it's lazy parenting, I bet the parents were really pleased when iPads were invented as it meant they could ignore their children'
Perhaps it's just my parents/pil and other gps I know who do this, I can't believe they were all perfect parents though, much as they think they were and throw stones now...
If you didn't mean it to be that sweeping why didn't you make a tiny bit more effort to create a better thread title then op?
<is of "older generation">
My Dad holds up my DMum as a shining example of motherhood and how her parenting is the only reason my DSis and I are so intelligent.
80% of intelligence is inherited.
Yes, I do remember Mum doing flash cards with us when we learnt to read, but I also remember watching a lot of TV. And I do mean, a lot. Today it would have been an iPad.
But bless her, she had to do all of her laundry in a twin-tub machine and cooked everything from scratch, being an early-believer in food allergies. This was in the early 80s and my DSis does indeed have food intolerances!
Until I tuned into Mumset a few months ago, I hadn't realised that babies had to be beastfed for years - mine for about 3 months exclusively and a bit more when I went back to work was seen to be good as 6 months was the magic time. I'm talking 1980s. Babies had to be placed on their tums and on no account to sleep with parent. Cot death risks both but different.
After about 6 weeks mine slept through the night. I don't remember leaving mine to cry, in fact I am sure I did not.
I am sure by the time my daughter produces, the circle will have turned. But I am planning to kidnap my grandchild regularly for a few hours so that my daughter can sleep. I am sure that need won't have changed!
Oh and MIL makes huge sweeping statements about her skills as a housewife and mother, but conveniently forgets that she had daily help in some form or another (housekeeper, nanny, cleaner, etc) for most of it!
Whereas DH's 90-something grandmother is much more honest and says how hard we have it now, because in her day all of the big laundry, bedding and shirts, were collected and done by the local laundry! (I am now paying homage to her by taking mine to the dry cleaner. I reckon they knew what they were doing back then.). She also loved using our iPad.
Hehe being old just means you think you have a license to say what you think...
We all judge and think we are better parents! We just don't always have the guile to say it! (Unless it's on mn!)
My nan is always telling me about how easy I have it compared to how she did today's reason was because we have child benefit now, earlier this week because DH works nights so when DD was a newborn I didn't have to worry about him waking up while I did night feeds... Really nan? Really?
My sil does this. Her kids are 5 and 7.
Well I had a strange experience.
I had a grandchild three yrs ago and was grandma know it all telling dil to do this and that and wearing my judgey pants often.
Then a year later I had a surprise baby
And had to eat humble pie. Dil loves to tease me about it when I'm struggling saying "well you told me to do it this way" etc.
I think that we all become our mothers as we get older! I used to think 'I will never say that!' And now I hear it coming out of my mouth!
As you are now-that once was me...
As I am now so shall you be.
Brilliant thread. my MIL is so guilty of this. She tried to tell me:
Labour was a doddle
None of her 3 EVER cried, I mean not once
Forcefully holding the dummy in so they couldn't spit it out was acceptable, nay necessary!
her kids didn't do tantrums, or moodiness, sulking or rudeness.
And of course any incidence of less than perfect behaviour is because i am a crap parent who has spoilt my kids by co-sleeping and ebfing.
It's a selective memory thing. My mother claims that I never had a single tantrum.
I am already starting to do this. When people on here ask about having four children under five, I find myself stating that it wasn't that bad, even in the early years. I have a feeling that if the 'me' of eight years ago were to read that, she would be tempted to give me a slap.
tee hee, my nan insists she never had to get up in the night with any of her 5 children as they were well trained. My aunt remembers it as just being ignored....
I personally cannot wait until I am old enough to have rose tinted glasses and a skewed memory, I see it as a right of passage and will abuse it fully.
It is the right of those younger to be annoyed, the right of those older to believe they did it better.
I am not even going to wait until I am old to wear purple.
For everything the next generation gets right, they'll forget something the one before got right. For everything the next generation gets wrong, the one before will point out.
My mum is AWFUL for pointing out how great SHE was (indirectly of course) and I let her, because my children are far far happier than I remember being. Just ignore, roll eyes, and carry on.
When I was pregnant with dc1 dh and I had a meal with both sets of grandparents where we learned both if us were walking, talking and reading at about nine months of cours now ds and dd are here they are the most perfect, clever, wonderful a,axing children ever and I won't let anyone say otherwise
Tbh my dd (who is 18) only had 1 tantrum outside the house (maybe a couple in the house but not many).
I was visiting my mum (200 miles away) with her and her twin brother and we were all on our way to feed the ducks. She had a spectacular meltdown which set her brother off. So we picked the kids up and took them straight home. Dd had time out to calm down and she was sad that we hadn't got to see the ducks (went the next day). She never did it again. Her brother has very severe meltdowns due to anxiety because of ASD though, so I'm not claiming to be some kind of superparent.
"The elephant carrying the bone china dinner service was somehow mislaid"
I love this! How do you mislay an elephant?
According to my mum, all 4 of us were potty trained before our 1st birthday.
Sadly, I think the concept of potty training in the 60s meant sitting child on potty all day.
My personal favourite is 'well, we didn't pander to allergies in my day'
I find this is often followed by the infamous 'we just got on with it'
The other one that makes me laugh is the giving your iPad to your DC is apparently lazy parenting, but I remember being sat in the car of a pub car park for bloody hours with nothing but a packet of cheese and onion and
if I was lucky a Panda Pop. Now that was f*&king lazy parenting!
Yep no pandering to allergies and all the children
who survived we're fiiiine
I once saw dh's nana and had ds in a sling. She had just been telling me how she'd had a special pram made for her twins. On seeing my length of tied cloth she exclaimed that they didn't have these fancy gadgets in her day
SPB I was out once in a shopping centre with my DD in a Mei Tai sling and a man in his late 60s/early 70s came over, looked the sling all over and declared 'what will they invent next? These silly new fangled things! You are going to suffocate that baby in there!'
Because Mei Tai's haven't been around for centuries or anything have they? ....oh wait, yes they have!
My daughter still has tantrums at 18.
She saves them up until she comes home from uni.
But I'm waiting till she has a toddler to get my own back....
I don't think it's an "age" thing. It really is "the times we live in"
My DN had her one and only DS at age 45 (DS is now almost 3).
Her parenting style is exactly the same as a 20 or 30 year old first time mum.
The only think I find a bit diffferent is the length of time DC remain in nappies these days.
(Not that I ever say it to anyone.)
I think this is because "in my day" most babies were in cloth nappies and the sooner they were out of them the better we liked it.
Even the babies would get very uncomfortable when the nappy was the slightest bit wet.
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