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To be funding it hard to bite my tongue re weaning

(117 Posts)
HugeFloweryPants Wed 20-Mar-13 22:43:39

I accepted a long time ago that a friend and I parent differently and am quite happy with that, horses for courses. I breastfeed and go with the flow and she's a routine queen with 4 hour bottles etc. BUT I'm finding it hard to bite my tongue now we're on our second babies regarding weaning, she's well informed/ educated but has a big baby that 'needs' early weaning...but it's taken to extremes...
7/8 weeks baby rice
8 weeks rusks at bed time (trying to keep 4 hrs between bottles)
now 10 weeks
morning: eg porridge powder stuff
dinner: eg powdered meal by heinz (not seen but described)
tea: rusk

...and today exclaiming he's dropped a few centiles

I know I lentil weave a tad...but give me perspecrive, surely this is outside the norm and not a good idea? Mine would have been unfeedable then due to tongue thrusting.Or am I just not used to this as I've never bought ready made baby food?

YouTheCat Wed 20-Mar-13 22:46:13

Unless she's been advised to do it by a medical professional, YANBU to have trouble biting your tongue.

However, it's her baby so probably best not to say anything really.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 22:46:39

You said "she's well informed/ educated"

So yes, bite your's her child and her decision.

My eldest is 21yrs old and I fed him baby rice at 6wks as advised by my GP and HV at the time.

Guidelines have changed due to research but if she's well informed and educated and still chooses to do it the old fashioned way, why would you need to say anything to her?

mrsminiverscharlady Wed 20-Mar-13 22:48:30

YAB a bit U. I used to feel like this about friend's parenting choices, but now our kids are older it's all faded into total insignificance and I'm glad I didn't strain good friendships by sticking my beak in.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 22:49:29

She may be educated but she is not well informed. But if you say anything she won't actually admit that.

HugeFloweryPants Wed 20-Mar-13 22:53:21

I don't comment, well once I suggested even though she planned to bottle feed she could give colstrum in case she didn't know why....I learnt and shut up!
I know it WAS the norm...but full 3 meals even?

babanouche Wed 20-Mar-13 22:57:44

I'd find it hard to bite my tongue in this instance. Being that it seems completely fucking mental.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 22:59:02

Is the baby happy? Is she happy?

YANBU to silently judge but do remember to keep it silent.

As mrsminiverscharlady rightly says, these things tend to fade into total significance as they grow up.

And every stage they go through, there's new potential for you both to silently judge about each other.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Mar-13 22:59:21

*insignificance blush

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 23:00:02

3 full meals at 10 weeks old certainly was not the norm after 1992

YouTheCat Wed 20-Mar-13 23:00:37

On my calendar for March is a ginger cat wearing a hat and dark glasses, underneath it says 'I am silently judging you' - so what Worral said really.

maddening Wed 20-Mar-13 23:04:30

The thing is - if he drops too many centiles then he will be referred to gp - so if it is a concern then she will have the advice of a health care professional.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 20-Mar-13 23:06:32

Bigger babies don't need weaning early and I can't believe anyone would think its a good idea to give baby rice that early. She's totally misinformed. Why not point out the guidelines of weaning to her? Her poor baby, if it ends up with gut problems it'll be her own fault.

LandofTute Wed 20-Mar-13 23:06:41

Why do people do that four hourly feed thing? I've never understood it. Won't they be more likely to sleep well at night if you feed more often?

CheshireDing Wed 20-Mar-13 23:07:14

YANBU. I am a bit of a tree hugger type too smile

I reckon if you like her as a friend though you will probably just have to ignore it. If she is worried about his weight have you suggested she keep a note of his meals and discuss it with the GP and see what they think re his weight, phrased a certain way obviously !

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 20-Mar-13 23:08:48

All the baby needs is milk. Why are people shocked that babies wake up overnight? It's what they do! And I'm sorry but it's what you sign up for when you become a parent.

Also, why are people in such a frigging rush to wean? Weaning is a faff!! Stop rushing your baby to grow it.

NaturalBaby Wed 20-Mar-13 23:09:00

She can't be that well informed if she's feeding her baby rice and porridge at 10 weeks.

Seenenoughtoknow Wed 20-Mar-13 23:10:12

The very latest advice in our area from our HV is that weaning at all before 6 months can cause various stomach, bowel and food intolerance problems in later life. Apparently a LOT of research has been done on this...our HV is really clued up on the subject. I think your friend isn't quite as wise as she thinks she is.

LandofTute Wed 20-Mar-13 23:18:51

Who is shocked that babies wake in the night?

Pobblewhohasnotoes Wed 20-Mar-13 23:22:19

One of the reasons that people start feeding their very young babies baby rice is to try and make them fill up they don't wake up overnight.

LadyBeagleEyes Wed 20-Mar-13 23:26:32

It's absolutely none of your business OP.

Shellywelly1973 Thu 21-Mar-13 00:14:49

Its none of your business.

Its hard when you really disagree with a friends choices but sometimes Thats the way it is.

My best friend of 20years had a baby last year. She was feeding him food at 3 months. I didn't agree. But she didn't ask my opinion, so i didn't offer or give it.

MortifiedAdams Thu 21-Mar-13 00:20:30

Im no lentil weaver and dd was on a three hourly daytime / four hourly nighttime schedule (that I didnt have to force her into - I wouldnt have done that), but I held off foods until.six months.

I.know a lot of.people still start to wean at 17weeks, and whilst its not my choice and I disagree with it, I dont ever say anything as "their baby, their way". Weaning at seven eight nine weeks is mental.

Their poor digestive systems. Having a SIL who was weaned early and is now being fitted at 22years old with a permanent colostomy bag, I sincerely hope that her LO does.not suffer any long term damage.

LittleBunnyFeileFooFoo Thu 21-Mar-13 00:21:18

I was raised exactly like this, according to my very disapproving of me ebfing my ds DM. Baby will be fine as long as weight is being monitored.

AThingInYourLife Thu 21-Mar-13 00:23:47

Is rice flour more filling than milk?

Isn't milk lovely and fatty?

Or am I thinking of seals?

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