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To be slightly annoyed by the phase 'work hard and get on'

(169 Posts)
LittleTurtle Wed 20-Mar-13 14:00:39

on the budget speech.

Apparently in reference to SAHM.

The newspapers were slating PM's use of this phrase all today. That SAHM would be excluded from receiving child care support because they do not want to work hard and get on.

I was mostly surprised that the chancellor used this exact same phrase at the budget speech today. I thought they would just erase it after the papers raised concerns from parents about it.

I just find it insulting that people generally think SAHM don't do anything, but just lounge around at home.

Mum2Luke Fri 22-Mar-13 00:24:17

@weewifey40 - of course they were happier, they were with YOU, their mother!! angry.

Some people do not have the luxury of being able to stay at home with their child and some don't have Grandparents or any family nearby to help either.

Mum2Luke Fri 22-Mar-13 00:18:44

I am a SAHM and also working as a dinner lady in a local school kitchen during term times so I can look after my child (nearly 11) as I cannot afford to go out full-time until he is old enough to be at home full-time and even then will there be any jobs? In my area of Greater Manchester there are hundreds going for the same job I used to be an OFSTED Registered Childminder for 19 years but local nurseries were offering 'free' childcare places which I could not offer.
I watched 'This Morning' tonight as I missed it due to me being at work and this snobby woman was implying that SAHMs sat at home in their slippers!!!! Doesn't she have children? Does she not know that raising your own children is a hard job too? The fact that people such as her look down their noses at people like us who look after OUR OWN CHILDREN!

I used to get parents phoning to see if their child/ren were ok, worried that they may be crying. I don't know what people think childminders do all day but we feed, entertain, teach and love your little ones as well as doing the paperwork that the EYFS demands in our own time, time WE should be spending with our families. We have to go on First Aid and Safeguarding courses as well as many others and many of my friends are studying for Early Years Degrees We do NOT sit around drinking coffee and tea all day.

Rant over

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:18:28

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:51:20

Sweden, where you can drop your kid in a 'night nursery.''

The much hated (on Mumsnet) phrase
'why have 'em
springs to mind.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:45:08

what's gone wrong in Sweden?
They miss their children, is what.
And tired of being told they must work and leave kids in full time daycare.

KatyTheCleaningLady Thu 21-Mar-13 22:36:02

What's gone wrong in Sweden?

KidderminsterKate Thu 21-Mar-13 22:35:24

nope still don't get it.

I'm a lone parent who works full time. I work hard and get on. People can't get subsidised childcare so they can clean in peace or go to the on earth is that logical.

and I don't think there should be tax breaks for already get free healthcare and education for children plus police force, fire brigade, etc...all paid for from taxe

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:21:54

anyway, I agree that sahp's have been sidelined. I think the government is hoping to make daycare for all children from 6 months + compulsory. I'm waiting for them to fuck about with maternity leave next. Breastfeeding, bonding with your child? Pah, that's for wimps.
Man up.
Or Lean In.
It will backfire eventually though, just as almost enforced cheap daycare has backfired in Sweden.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:15:55

I've worked too, used holiday clubs and childminders. But these daycare providers were always inferior to the care I gave. They were happier and better cared for by me, no question of it. It hurts the feelings of some working parents to say this, and some seem so hellbent on justifying the 'career' they can easily pretend their childminder or nursery is better for their child than they are. It's just not true though. I'm sick of women and men being force fed this new default setting for parents, and the idea that stay at home parents are oppressed minorities with 1950s style sensibilities.

Zookiemay Thu 21-Mar-13 22:11:47

I think that working or stay at home, most parents are trying to do the best for their families and I don't believe that one way is better than the other.
This isn't a debate over which is better, I have been both.

This is a request for a fairer society.

This idealist hippy is off to bed now. Love and peace to all smile

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 22:06:54

Zookie - being idealistic is lovely, but in politics and a modern society, it's simply just not going to ever happen.

Anyway, must dash, off for a quick wine - work in the morning for me. shock

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 22:02:57

No thanks weewifey, just from your description of the research I can see it would be entirely biased and based to support one style of parenting. I hope you're not friends with anyone who has to work, what a horrendous show they'd have to see that's what you actually believe. Or heavens forbid, have to work yourself. Think I'm done here hmm

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 22:01:01

JoJo, what's better for the children is to have a sahp. That's not always possible, so the next best thing is a grandparent or childminder. Hurts feelings to say it, but pretending that daycare is equal to the care of parents is offensive and wrong.

Zookiemay Thu 21-Mar-13 22:00:04

Oh, and what is wrong with being idealistic?

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 21:59:07

I don't understand your point Zookie, sorry.

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:58:55

google it. I'll link later when not on a mobile phone.
There's plenty of evidence. Separation anxiety, attachment disorder, depression in later life, violence, boys in nursery settings. Google Dr. Carole Ulanowsky.
You can hope that a kid is as well cared for in a nursery, but unless they're being a used, every kid is better off at home. Every one.

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 21:57:36

But what's good for your children, may not work for mine. I mean that in a broad society sense, not to you personally JoJo.

Zookiemay Thu 21-Mar-13 21:57:25

Soultrain, who really thinks that we would go back to a society where women are condemned for working outside the home when married or have a family? Now that is simplistic, shortsighted and more than a little hysterical.

jojomo Thu 21-Mar-13 21:57:24

Thanks Zookiemay! Sorry I have to go!

jojomo Thu 21-Mar-13 21:55:22

I wish I had the answers! What I do know is that these policies are deeply divisive (hence this thread!). We shouldn't be fighting each other but working out what is best for the children and therefore what policies and financial support should be. I have to go now I;m afraid, dh needs the computer!

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 21:51:00

I wondered how long it would take for someone to roll out the "well regarded research for SAHP."

Care to link weewifey?

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:48:42

that, not thy. Lol! The last big study done showed that almost zero Mothers want to work full time. Do we ignore what women want, and what's good for children, in order to 'get 'em back to work' as some new (anti) feminist ideal?

Zookiemay Thu 21-Mar-13 21:47:48

jojomo I think I love you grin

weewifey40 Thu 21-Mar-13 21:46:26

piles and piles of well regarded research to show, without a shred of doubt thy children are far far better off with a sahp, especially in the first 3 years. It might hurt feelings to say it, but doesn't make it any less accurate. And does make me wonder why Mothers, the vast majority of whom would much prefer to work part time at most, are being sold the line that working and outsourcing their kids is the new default setting.

SoulTrain Thu 21-Mar-13 21:46:01

But what would that system be? How could it really be made a level playing field? Seems too idealistic to me. I agree though, of course most Mums would probably prefer to stay at home if they had the means to - for me, it just seems shortsighted.

I would worry for my children to go back to a society where it's deemed the norm for women to be at home raising children, because that's what would happen in your scenario. We've already established the problems that presents to women who eventually want to return.

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