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DH's awful family part 2...

(208 Posts)
curiousgeorgie Tue 19-Mar-13 21:14:54

So I've started a second thread as requested...

Who would have guessed that they would be so bad as to require more than 1000 posts wink

ithaka Thu 21-Mar-13 16:55:14

I disagree.

I reiterate - we both missed SIL wedding (that DD was meant to be bridesmaid at) due to her unreasonable behaviour. I am fortunate that my DH would always put me and our children above his family, so he was happy not to go.

Yes, they made a great big song and dance, but we were implacable, so in the end everyone had no choice but to deal with it. They came to us to build bridges and we graciously let them.

We have actually been on holiday with SIL & family since - had a great time.

So missing a wedding does not have to mean a family breakdown. It just means missing a wedding.

Do what is best for you an your family. Be polite but firm and then leave it at that. Post wedding, it will all seem a big fuss about nothing.

stickingattwo Thu 21-Mar-13 18:11:39

Aldi is right I think - I would hate for someone to be talking about my family like this ona public forum. Seems like its grown out of proportion.

Don't be trying to use passports as an excuse for not travelling to Ireland BTW as UK citizens don't need one just photo ID! Kids don't need I'd at all.

Creameggkr Thu 21-Mar-13 18:28:41

I have had much well documented troubles with my selfish in laws and have received a lot of support from mn.
I have also recurred criticism in the form of "you're a doormat" or "your dh has no back bone"
The thing is despite their behaviour I also have to take into account the fact that they are dh parents and he loves them no matter what.
I would struggle to be with a man who didn't love his parents.
The saddest thing I've seen is dh starting to dislike his parents because if their ridiculousness.
It's for this reason that I pick my battles and am also more upfront with them to avoid resentment.
So whilst I agree the ops pils have been idiots I also think its worth considering the impact upon your marriage in the long run.

HSMMaCM Fri 22-Mar-13 08:25:04

So ... not long enough to get a passport, but you could use the ferry with a birth certificate. I think you have 6 weeks to get that if you can't choose a name, so you might not have a birth certificate either.

Despite that, you have plenty of perfectly valid reasons not to go to the wedding and not to have PIL to stay.

bootsycollins Fri 22-Mar-13 08:39:53

HQ please employ tortoise to summarise every thread at regular intervals

ArbitraryUsername Fri 22-Mar-13 08:46:46

I honestly think it would be best to set aside all the other crap and simply make the decision about whether to attend the wedding based purely on your own ability to go. Will you be able to go on a very long drive and then look after a newborn and a toddler on your own in an unfamiliar place so soon after your CS. That's really the crucial thing.

Everything else can be worried about in time. Well, expect the PILs wanting to live with you. But you've already made it clear that will not be happening. See if your BIL and SIL manage to pull their heads out of their own arses after they return from the honeymoon and then decide on what kind of relationship you want to maintain with them.

fridgepants Sat 23-Mar-13 21:57:47

I'm just reading part 1 and sympathising. My landlord - I'm a lodger - has invited his friend to stay in the house, indefinitely. I have just had my medication adjusted, so can do without a stranger being present on the sofa every night, and he is sleeping in the dining room on the floor, which is where my packing (I move out on Easter Monday) was meant to go. Last weekend, landlord, landlord's married girlfriend and the friend all sat round the TV watching Puppetry of the Penis. I'm moving out soon and it's going to be very hard to remain schtumm on my annoyance.

And I don't even have a newborn, never mind a DD to look after.

FriskyHenderson Wed 03-Jul-13 21:01:50

So OP, how are things?

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