To be absolutely FUCKING FURIOUS that my period has started

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

because I'm 50. And I've been having periods since I was 12. Every fucking 28 days like fucking clockwork (apart from the infertility drug years).

And then in November I missed one, and I thought "whoopee, that's it, all over, done with menopause here I come.

I was wrong. Christmas was like a scene from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

And then January nothing, nada, zilch (yippee).

And now, here we fucking go again.

Disclaimer: I will not be responsible for my actions if anyone is unwise enough to inform me AIBU.

So you had better all ignore this thread.

[LovesBeingWokenEveryNight]

Yabu

[MarmaladeTwatkins]

It may be the beginning of the end though, Mary.

Erratic periods... that's how my mum's menopause started. Then her language got really fruity.

Has your language got really fruity?

YANBU

[HippiTEEHoppoTEE]

I just said to my sister last night 'it starts to fucking early and goes on too fucking long'

Surely it should start at 20 and end at 40?

::hands over sanpro of choice::

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

Fuck off to the far side of fuck, and when you get there fuck off some more

[mutter]

[MisselthwaiteManor]

[Fakebook]

This is why I enjoy being pregnant. Yanbu.

[idiuntno57]

you are the most reasonable person I have ever met.

[HollyBerryBush]

hahahaha - (not) - wait till you go 18 months, the flushes are a thing of the past and then you realise that there is a whole abattoir going on down below, with clots the size of crème eggs, and 4 night pads last you 30 mins.

[HippiTEEHoppoTEE]

Who?

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

(that was to Loves btw)

Yes, start at 25, finish at 35, with an option extension for those who would like to sprog later.

[girliefriend]

haha no yanbu

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

That's a good description Holly.

I don't need SanPro. I need a swimming pool. Or a moonbucket.

[LovesBeingWokenEveryNight]

[YouTheCat]

[HippiTEEHoppoTEE]

I had no idea you were pregnant, Fakebook. When are you due?

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

Slugs .

Chucks out window.

[arf]

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

Seriously though, who designed us like this?

Who thought this method of reproduction was a good idea?

Oh, yes God, isn't it? Is he a man by any chance?

[HerbyVore]

at moonBucket

There's no way one of those tiny thimbles is going to last 2 seconds is there?

You have my sympathy.

[Blessyou]

I've got it worse.

Monster period - pain, mess, discomfort, smell, anaemia, spots, headache, tired......


....and H has eaten my FUCKING CHOCOLATE BAR earmarked for supper following back to back meetings on a day I don't usually fucking work.

[HerbyVore]

Reading Holly's post - I'm glad I'm not the only one.

It's just horrible

[Blessyou]

I could have FUCKING HOT CROSS BUN !?!?

[HerbyVore]

Oh and I've got hairs sprouting from my chin and acne.

I barely managed to shift the fucking acne and now it's back with a vengeance.

That bastard.

[ScoffedAnEggInSixtySeconds]

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

I have a confession.

I had to take ds2 to training tonight. I had an hour to fill in and normally would come home. But I went to the supermarket and bought:

one bottle of wine (white, Chilean, rather good)

three one large bar of chocolate

a packet of Feminax

I'm settling in for the night

[MaryZeZJezuzIzntZombiedYet]

DON'T MENTION CHIN HAIRS

Mine have just gone grey