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To feel upset about this?

(27 Posts)
Nirvana1999 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:25:24

It was my birthday on Saturday and didn't receive 1 card. I split from husband a few weeks ago and have 2 Dc's who are 18 months. No text or card from my parents at all and my closest friend has just text 'happy birthday' literally 5 mins ago 3days late

Even my sister hasn't been in touch. I always make a point of visiting my family on their birthday and buy them something nice, nothing extravagent but I'm a bit sad that no one could even take the time to call or text especially after the events over the last few weeks with H.

Anyway AIBU? Should I get a grip and just get over it?

WeAreEternal Wed 20-Mar-13 07:06:05

Sorry I'm not close, at all.
Have you joined the MN local page?

When I moved here I knew nobody, I didn't think if make any friends, but eventually I made friends with one other mum, and she introduced me to her friends and now I have some good friends here.

Nirvana1999 Tue 19-Mar-13 19:32:29

You're right, I need better people in my life. I moved to this area (northern Scotland) a year ago. I really struggled to meet anyone despite going to local baby groups etc. it's not the most welcoming of places unfortunately. Only moved here for dh work and thought it would be ideal having my family so close, how wrong was I?!

magimedi Tue 19-Mar-13 19:29:24


Birthdays are important because they are your special day.


wine flowers wine flowers wine

And some more wine for good measure.

WeAreEternal Tue 19-Mar-13 19:25:08

Happy belated birthday. flowers

They are all crap and you need to make sure you make a huge fuss of their birthdays and then say 'I know I shouldn't have bothered, since you didn't bother on my birthday, but I'm not a selfish twunt so I couldn't just ignore your birthday'

Where are you Nirvana? I'm sure a local MNer would love to meet you for a belated birthday drink/coffee/slice of cake.
If you are anywhere near me I would love to meet up with you.
It sounds like you could do with some better people in your life.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Tue 19-Mar-13 19:09:55

They all sound like selfish, uncaring bastards. You, on the other hand, sound lovely. Ignore the lot of them and when they contact you to ask why you haven't been in touch (and they will), make sure you tell them straight up how hurt and disappointed you were not to hear from them at all on our birthday. I assume it's on the same date every year? Thought so. Don't accept any excuses. No-one is 'too busy', 'too forgetful' or 'too skint' to send a text on your birthday and put a 79p card from The Works in the post a few days beforehand.

Happy belated birthday. Hope things improve for you soon.

CheeryChickChickChickChicken Tue 19-Mar-13 18:56:54

That's so sad for you at a time when you need support. Happy belated birthday!

Nirvana1999 Tue 19-Mar-13 18:49:33

I just can't imagine ever not contacting my children on their birthday. They stay locally too so no excuse. My relationship with my mum has always been hard work, I make all the effort to sustain any kind of contact, don't think I'm going to bother in future.

Thanks again, cheered me up a bit.

buggerama Tue 19-Mar-13 18:37:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Happy247 Tue 19-Mar-13 18:32:29

happy birthday biscuit biscuit wine brew thanks wine wine biscuit biscuit biscuit thanks thanks thanks

YourHandInMyHand Tue 19-Mar-13 18:28:04

YANBU they are twats, I feel really cross at them on your behalf!

When you can afford it go out for lunch with your dcs, I know they are little but everyone likes a bit of cake.

Poppet48 Tue 19-Mar-13 18:11:24

YANBU, I would understand if your family or friends contacted you and said that they didn't send a card as you may not feel like celebrating because of events however not contacting you/offering to take you out is not nice at all, I understand why you don't want to make an effort with there birthdays.

Sorry to hear about your H.

DeskPlanner Tue 19-Mar-13 18:04:51

YANBU. Happy Birthday. wine thanks

MunchkinsMumof2 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:50:22

That is so sad, I feel bad for you. I never understand how someone's parents could forget their child's birthday. I think you should text your friend back and say you could have done with a little more thought from her than a belated birthday text and that you are not impressed. I also think you should tell your family how it made you feel and maybe make less effort for their birthdays. I'm sorry but happy birthday wine brew thanks

MissLurkalot Tue 19-Mar-13 17:48:57

I would be really upset to be honest.. Even more bloody so with your recent situation. And, I would ring them all and have a go! Bloody numpties, all of them!

Nirvana1999 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:48:22

rainbowspiral I have been in touch since the split, seen my mum on Mothers Day the weekend before with a huge bunch of flowers and chocolates. sad

Nirvana1999 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:46:54

I have no intention of contacting them at all. I felt like a real sad case in Sat, I'm not into huge birthday celebrations, haven't done anything major for years but for my family not to even get in touch was just crap. I bought myself a pack of 2 sad little cupcakes to eat on Sat!

Thanks for the birthday wishes, I won't be making any effort when it comes to their birthdays anymore. Not going to even bother replying to friends late text. Stuff them!

GreenPetal94 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:42:30

Happy Birthday. Have you generally been in contact with your family since the split? Are they worried about saying the wrong thing.

deleted203 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:37:37

YANBU. That's very sad, particularly if your parents and sister didn't bother. It really doesn't sound like they are being very supportive to you - and just at a time when you could really do with them being there for you.

Have some flowers from me. If I were you I would take myself (and the DCs if necessary) out somewhere nice for a treat this Saturday. Even if it's only for a coffee and a cake!

I wouldn't be calling parents/sister at all. I'd let them contact me and when they said they hadn't heard from me I would say, 'No. I was really upset that no one phoned or sent a card on my birthday. It's left me feeling really low that I spent the day alone and feeling that no one cared about me at all. I didn't feel like speaking after that'.

(I'm not good at suffering in silence. And I would hope that they would feel guilty).

ventilatormum Tue 19-Mar-13 17:33:14

I think that is really sad and you are NBU. I don't go for huge b day celebrations but not even a card! Why not text anyone you like and say you are having tea and cake for your birthday this Sat (or drinks, whatever is your thing) and can they come? even just your friend if family not near. Happy Birthday! flowers

timidviper Tue 19-Mar-13 17:31:16

I'm so sorry OP, have a belated Happy Birthday from me smile

My birthday was a letdown too this year if that helps and I feel just as you do, I go out of my way to be nice to people and sometimes I really wonder why.

I don't know what you should do though. I threw a big drama queen hissy fit but I have a DH and DS to terrify shock with it. Don't let it get to you though.

YouTheCat Tue 19-Mar-13 17:30:16

In future, save the money you would have spent on those others who couldn't be bothered with your birthday, and treat yourself to something special.

Iatemyskinnyperson Tue 19-Mar-13 17:29:27

YANBU. That's crap, sorry to hear it. (((Hugs))) and happy birthday.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Tue 19-Mar-13 17:29:06

My family and friends went weird on me when I first split from my husband too. No idea why, they just all avoided me.

Maybe they thought you'd be upset or something?



grin thanks wine biscuit

The biscuit is instead of a cake.

MrsLouisTheroux Tue 19-Mar-13 17:28:56

I forget everyone's birthday. I don't actually know the date of birthdays for most of my family and friends. I don't celebrate mine and everyone is used to it I suppose.
YANBU to feel sad though, especially if birthdays are important to you.

gilly86 Tue 19-Mar-13 17:28:39

YANBU , i'd be upset too.

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