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to cook one meal and if they don't like it, tough.

(85 Posts)
TubGirl Mon 18-Mar-13 17:19:49

For the last 17 years DH has done the cooking. His hours at work have changed do now I have to.

I cannot be arsed with all this chopping and changing.

Dd2 only eats chicken, roast potatoes and chips.

Dd1 is veggie and won't eat potatoes in any form.

Dh likes meat.

I'm veggie. I like one pot lentilly stuff. Nobody else does.

This evening we have cauliflower cheese with roast potatoes and green beans. There is cold chicken for Dd2 and Dh.

Except Dd1 doesn't do potatoes and isn't mad keen on cauliflower.

Bollocks to them all. Picky bastards.

I plan on putting it on the table. If they won't eat it they can bloody well go hungry. Or eat toast. Or something.

TubGirl Mon 18-Mar-13 17:59:10

Or risotto. I think 3 out of 4 of us will eat risotto. DD2 can have chicken again.

Owllady Mon 18-Mar-13 18:01:45

yanbu I have only ever cooked one meal and you eat it or you don't
I cannot abide the moaning though. I have cooked something for YOU do not moan, go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect £200 angry

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 18-Mar-13 18:03:30

YANBU. Can't abide fussiness.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Mon 18-Mar-13 18:03:38

Or ungratefulness.

TooYappy Mon 18-Mar-13 18:03:42

I'm so pleased there are only 3 of us but even at that DS2 doesn't like:

Potatoes - will eat chips though
Cheese - will eat it on pizza though and for his ex childminder
Most meats

Tonight they have both gone out, I will be expected to cook on demand at 8pm/9pm. I give in. It's a like a fast food place, I was going to buy a dining table, no point when they are never here.

I cannot even offer TOAST, who would feel good about throwing their DC a bit a dried toast.

'I don't wike butter' meh.........


OrangeLily Mon 18-Mar-13 18:07:15

I was a child who hated what my parents ate and mostly still do.(big hunks of meat/frozen veg/jarred sauces so nothing actually horrendous just bleurgh to me). I managed to survive!!

Could you, DH and the kids sit down and do some meal planning where everyone brings a suggestion if 2 or 3 fave meals.

JugglingFromHereToThere Mon 18-Mar-13 18:07:17

You could do a few different bits, put them on the table, and everyone can help themselves to what they like from that choice
Hopefully you'll find that the fussiest gradually become less fussy and try a few new things.
Good luck !
Enjoy the lentils tomorrow - if there's any left can I come over ?! smile

ChairmanWow Mon 18-Mar-13 18:07:54

If your DP wanted to cook more than one meal or variations that was his his choice. We're definitely a one choice house. I'm veggie and do most of the cooking. I never cook meat but we eat well and I don't get complaints. If DP and DS want to eat meat when we're out that's up to them.

DH was pretty soft with DS when he was about 18 months and would be offering him choice after choice. DS thought this was great and would take a bite out of each and throw the rest. At nursery he eats everything that's put in front of him and they don't get choices. If they're hungry they'll eat. I'd just steer clear of stuff they absolutely hate.

EmmelineGoulden Mon 18-Mar-13 18:09:16


I do take it or leave it. But your family (including you!) have a cultural norm of being catered to. I think to suddenly turn that off is a bit unreasonable. Presumably, if this has been going on for 17 years, your kids are old enough to do a bit of cooking themselves. Sit them down, tell them you aren't as skilled as their dad and discuss how you can all be satisfied without it sending you crazy.

JugglingFromHereToThere Mon 18-Mar-13 18:10:04

Risotto good too smile

Domjolly Mon 18-Mar-13 18:12:08

Good op i salute you for goig along with this madness for so long

Personally i am not running a Nandos and i dont take order if you dont want my dinner dont ea it simples

Personally i think you hve set you self up for fussy ness

Crinkle77 Mon 18-Mar-13 18:12:32

YANBU. When I was a child I ate what was put in front of me and there was nothing else.

Bananasinfadedpjs Mon 18-Mar-13 18:25:18

I wouldn't cook more than one meal when we are all eating together - but I do compromise a bit: just things like removing one portion of potatoes before mashing them, or holding back some carrots for the person who prefers them raw to cooked.
I have one of those things that divides my saucepan in 3, so if I am cooking a vegetable not everyone likes, then I can keep it separate, and then just sling some frozen peas in the other section so they all get a bit of greenery even if they'll only try one mouthful of cabbage or whatever.

I do try to cook things that everyone will like - or at least won't absolutely hate - or if I am cooking something that isn't universally liked, then I will cook it less often. I vary the proportions on the plates too - you get more of things you like, but you will get a bit of everything to try.

I don't insist on clean plates, but I do insist on at least trying everything. And I have ZERO tolerance for anyone saying bleurgh, or yuck or similar when served a meal. That is just plain rude and totally unacceptable.

BikeRunSki Mon 18-Mar-13 18:29:13

I have been trying to persuade my family to eat veggie Slimming World meals for months.... I'd eat your lentillyvl one pot stuff OP. smile

Baroozer Mon 18-Mar-13 18:38:05

YANBU to cook one meal for all.

I cook meals which I like (practically everything) and the rule is that you eat everything on your plate. I do give small portions and there are always seconds (and thirds) available, or they can fill up on fruit for pudding, but basically I am training them so that when they go to their friends' houses they are not the rude children who pipe up with "I don't like that stuff, it's yucky," as soon as they see a vegetable. angry

So far it's working.

I used to have the rule that they should try everything, but we have one picky child who could argue the hind leg off a donkey so every "try" ended up as a negotiation. So now it's eat or go hungry, and whatever you leave is served up to you for your next meal, cold and probably far more unappetising. I've only had to do this once. grin

Yfronts Mon 18-Mar-13 18:48:39

Agree with the leave or take it attitude - it's madness otherwise. It's not a cafe. Don't fuss, just chat about the day whist eating. I have great eaters who mostly eat most adult type meals but it has taken a couple of years of training from about 6 months. I don't insist on clean plates but also don't give toast or pudding if a reasonable amount isn't eaten.

I think lentil and bean dishes can be quite meaty by the way. Why not alternate veggie and non veggie days - so fish, veggie, meat, fish veggie, meat and so on.

BackforGood Mon 18-Mar-13 18:50:16

YABU for letting dh do it for 17 years, then moaning and stopping when it's your turn.
In principal I agree - 1 family: 1 meal, but it's something we've always done, and, like otehrs suggest, can cope with 'variations on a theme' for something they really don't like.
Don't know how old your dc are (?) but what solved it in our house was each of the 5 of us takes turns to cook the evening meal. Cuts the moaning completely. Means everyone has a turn when they get what they would choose. Could you do that ?

FryOneFatManic Mon 18-Mar-13 18:51:07

It's also one meal with me or nothing.

I do try to find meals that cater for most tastes, but I have a DS who only really likes chicken if it's a drumstick he can hold and eat with his hands, doesn't like beef (except mince) and who would happily eat bacon butties all the time if I let him grin (He does want to try horse and venison, he likes rabbit).

DD won't eat bacon at all, not keen on lamb but does eat other stuff.

However, everyone likes my macaroni cheese grin

I do insist that the DCs try new foods as they are introduced, at least one good mouthful. so far, they've been pretty good-natured about trying new food, and DS has decided he likes Mexican. Sadly DP isn't keen, although I'd do more of it.

Pork seems to be the one meat everyone likes in our house.

bumperella Mon 18-Mar-13 18:56:34

I agree with the eat-that-or-nothing. BUT my nearly 2yo DD frequently chooses the "nothing" option; the only veg she will eat is sweetcorn, carrots, and the seeds of tomatoes (but not the skin...) - basically if its not noodles or fruit then it's eaten v grudgingly if at all.

I'm not picky, neither is DH. I was brought up on the "eat that and if you don't have a clean plate you'll have it served for breakfast, lunch and dinner till you've finished it" school, DH was from the "lots of choice" family.

quoteunquote Mon 18-Mar-13 19:01:32

We only ever cook one meal, no fussy eaters here,

that would never of worked in this house, far better things to do than run a non profitable restaurant.

MrsKoala Mon 18-Mar-13 19:13:40

i wouldn't cook things i knew people didn't like. personally i think it sounds like an odd combo and apart from me i have never met anyone who likes cauliflower cheese.

do they all like pasta, rice, cous cous, bulgar wheat, bread?

and yes to the poster above, dh is the same and wants a 'sweet' every night. i just buy lots of individual cheesecakes/sponge puddings and tinned custard = no washing up smile

zukiecat Mon 18-Mar-13 19:17:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toadinthehole Mon 18-Mar-13 19:18:11

Ours is a take it or leave it house. I do avoid genuine dislikes, but not to the extent to varying what I serve.

Those who finish their plates are allowed a small amount of ice-cream. I am aware this isn't recommended practice, but it works for us.

I sometimes cook a proper pudding on the weekend. It will be bakewell tart this Saturday if I have time.

bumperella Mon 18-Mar-13 19:22:55

I offer one option. DD comes across as being fussy becuase sometimes she won't eat. But she would refuse anything when she's in that "mode", be it broccoli or chocolate cake. I get really hacked off with any "ooh, such a fussy eater" comments when in fact sometimes she's jsut not hungry.

bedmonster Mon 18-Mar-13 19:31:54

I think your dh has BU and pandered to their fussiness for too long. But now they've got into the habit, it might be hard for you to change them.

We are a one meal household, except for Friday and saturdays when the dc eat early because of clubs on a Friday, and Dp will have a relaxed evening on Saturday and eat quite late. We all put in a request for a meal at the beginning of the week before I do the weekly shop and all meals are generally eaten. No one has to clean their plate to get down, or to have pudding, but I do expect an attempt at all the different bits. I never cook things they wouldn't like (butternut squash for dd1, aubergine for dd2). Meals are never ever kept and reheated for the next meal. I think that's horrible. We've always been really relaxed about food and consequently we all eat a good variety of meals. Dsil is very controlling with her dc and food, its horrible to see her force feed her dc until they are gagging because they absolutely have to clear their plates. Every night. I think she's setting them up to have the same overearing problems that she has.

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