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Did I just have a go at a person with Tourette's?

(107 Posts)
MarmaladeTwatkins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:23:58


Was just queuing to get into the bakery with my friend's DS in his pushchair. A group of 4 people were in front of me. One of the females was talking really quite loudly and saying "fucking" "cunt" "twat" repeatedly. Her friends were laughing at her conversation. One of her friends then purposely knocked her bag off her shoulder. She responded by calling him a fat, four-eyed cunt.

I did get the red mist and asked her to please stop sounding her potty mouth off so loudly and said little ears are present, motioning towards friend's DS. Then she went "I've got Tourette's, you stupid cow" I did hmm face and her friend sheepishly backed her up and said that she did have Tourette's.

I really don't think that she did. My old boss had Tourette's and he didn't just swear in the flow of normal conversation. I could be wrong and if I am, I will feel shitty.

It's not the first time I've asked people to stop swearing around kids. AIBU?

MarmaladeTwatkins Thu 21-Mar-13 07:41:31

I think it's fairly obvious that she didn't have Tourettes. The only thing wrong with her is the delusion that she is the village bad gal. Thanks for your input though, everlong.

everlong Thu 21-Mar-13 07:08:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 20-Mar-13 22:33:39

Ah I knew it! Thanks Buppers grin

suebfg Wed 20-Mar-13 21:17:43

A young relative of mine has Tourettes and has started to swear with it, along with the tics and OCD type behaviour. His Mum thinks he has started to blame all his bad behaviour on his condition. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle - sometimes it's the Tourettes, sometimes it's just bad behaviour.

From what you've described though, it sounds like this person was just acting an idiot.

TiddlyOmPomPom Wed 20-Mar-13 21:12:43

I am indeed a tit, tis true... grin Possibly a sausage shaped tit. <worried>

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 21:04:38

Oh come on!

I have experience of people with TS. I would say I'd be confident in being able to tell if someone has TS or whether they're just spouting off.

This is coming from me who won't judge parents with kids having tantrums/anyone who could be behaving out of the ordinary because of a MH issue... I'm really not one to have a pop at people who could potentially have a disability and my posting history on MN will back that up!

But sorry again anyway.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 21:00:38

That's quite alright one couldn't really be expected to know from a post or a fleeting chance meetinggrin

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:57:42

Sorry but I didn't realise you were autistic confused I made fun of a grammar error. I didn't realise that I should have known you were autistic from that so if I have offended there I apologise.

LOL at the Wotsits radge grin

There need to be more like us, Hassled. Like the Guardian Angels that ride the subway in new York. We will stamp on any swearing, letterbox vandalism or dog-fouling (not literally) without mercy. We shall have to have a uniform.

Hassled Wed 20-Mar-13 20:53:12

I'm loving your work, Marmalade.

The only time I've had the guts to be an Ill-Mannered Vigilante was the time I had a right strop at a girl I vaguely know who I saw posting an empty packet of Wotsits into a postbox. For some reason I was like a woman possessed - all those precious letters covered in cheesy orange crumbs. She just stared at me.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 20:52:45

I am dyslexic but the disability I am referring to is autism and brain injury.

That's the whole point you don't know so being direct and to the point when you don't know is not a great idea.

By the way I loved your old name it made me laugh every time I saw it.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:51:50

LOL! I just outed myself right after you did, you sausage! Ha ha ha ha I was JOKING! grin

You tit grin

TiddlyOmPomPom Wed 20-Mar-13 20:50:04

But but but but but I saw a post a week or so ago where you outed yourself! confused Sorry! Thought that meant you were 'out'! Oooops.
Shall I report my post? Happy to!

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:44:06


I'll see you in COURT.

MarmaladeTwatkins Wed 20-Mar-13 20:43:30

I used to be Bupcakesnadcunt1ing, puds smile

Pixie, sorry I wasn't aware I had made disablist remarks about any disability of yours. Are you talking about where I made fun of an error in your grammar? I'm assuming that you're implying that you're dyslexic?

I didn't say I was polite. I said I was direct and to the point. <shrug> Don't see how asking someone in a direct manner is lowering myself but you obviously have skewed ideas about social acceptabilities so you think what you like, mate.

TiddlyOmPomPom Wed 20-Mar-13 20:37:58

Puds, clue: she had the best name on MN. Might have been bunting/cupcake related

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 20-Mar-13 19:56:06

Marmalade if you don't mind me asking, what did your name use to be? Its driving me slightly bonkers trying to remember confused

ps. feel free to tell me to mind my own beeswax grin

sjupes Wed 20-Mar-13 19:47:55

I'm mid twenties and when i have the kids with me i will pull people up if they are effing all over the place whether they're younger than me or older - my kids don't need to hear foul language.

I have also told a few teens dropping/about to drop rubbish where very noticeable bins are and most have the decency to look sheepish.

Dp hates that i do it for some reason - i'm not confrontational in the slightest but a bit of respect costs nothing.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 19:31:12

Yes munch it would be, as long as someone hears it.

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 20-Mar-13 17:54:44

Thats really interesting toomuch. Thanks for the information.

TiddlyOmPomPom Wed 20-Mar-13 14:50:55

toomuch I'm very sorry you took my post to be aimed at those with TS - I thought it obvious that it wasn't. You have explained TS really well and given lots of us a better understanding of it. I absolutely do not think people with TS are wankers!! Apologies for the misunderstanding.

It is 99% likely that the girl the OP was talking to did not have TS and was merely an antisocial and unpleasant person (ie a wanker) using her scant knowledge of TS as an excuse for being rude. As you have said several times, genuine sufferers of TS tend to be apologetic about their outbursts if asked about it, plus the swearing type is rather rare.

People who are deliberately antisocial with their behaviour shouldn't go unchallenged - I don't believe you should have to ask their full medical history before asking them to stop whatever it is they're doing.
If they have a genuine issue such as TS (or like my MiL's Alzheimer's which caused her to swear a lot) there are often other clues or they will be apologetic.

munchkinmaster Wed 20-Mar-13 08:25:05

Is it a crime if it's not directed at anyone?

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 07:19:54

That would be an actual crime and one that's not dependant on it on it offending someone.

munchkinmaster Wed 20-Mar-13 03:28:06

What about if the group of swearers was using racist or disablist language. Not at someone but just amongst themselves. Do we tolerate people taking loudly about sp***ers and ni**ers?

hb84 Wed 20-Mar-13 01:06:10

She was being a total cunt and making it up. 99% sure from what you told us. So, while you were not being unreasonable and should have told the cunt to fuck off, I hate the expression "little ears are present". It gives me nervous tics. Sorry!

toomuch2young Wed 20-Mar-13 00:14:03

mary no I don't believe the girl in the original post had TS, but I cannot be sure of this. It is not the op I was referring to, more the other comments of how people displaying such behaviours as swearing and spitting were 'wankers' etc etc. I'd far rather people were talked to politely about why they were displaying the behaviour if any doubt. Yes litter dropping etc etc is different. But I still believe education is the way, not abuse or name calling.

Just when you have had a life time of bullying, verbal and even physical abuse for a condition beyond your control, which already causes physical pain and mental torture I guess it also teaches you to try and preach tolerance and acceptance of others differences.

the chaos yes TS waxes and wanes, comes and goes. Personally I had mild tics as a young child, horrendous tics resulting in frequent hospitalisation etc from adolescence to early twenties. Now a gradual calming down enough, with medication, to be able to work full time for now, i am very lucky to have a wonderful supportive friends and also a work place which accepts my constant tics. Also despite my tics still being constant, the vocal words are less for the moment, and as an adult I have the self confidence to still go out and educate people if my tics do cause a problem, rather than hide away embarrassed as I did as a teenager.
In answer to your question, Everyone with TS is different with a different pattern of tics and waxing and waining and severity from very mild to totally disabling.

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