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For not wanting my parents to take DS on holiday?

(105 Posts)
Somermummy1 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:41:16

I know this sounds ungrateful but parents want to take 5 yo DS on holiday with them

If he goes this will be his first holiday abroad, first time on a plane etc etc

AIBU to want to be there when he does those things rather than just hear about it later?

We can't afford summer hols abroad this year which DM keeps reminding me but would you let your parents take your DC on their first foreign holiday ?????

Tigerbomb Sun 17-Mar-13 23:08:37

My parents took my then 5 year old son to the States for 4 weeks!

I didn't want to let him go and I missed him every second of the day but I knew that I could never afford to take him.

I knew he would be well looked after and have a fabulous time. It woul dbe me that had an awful time.

Even now, 22 years later he still remembers that trip

fanoftheinvisibleman Sun 17-Mar-13 23:13:20

I would. But then my parents are in their 50's not 80's. My grandma is 82 and in great health and goes abroad regularly but I wouldn't be happy to let her take ds who is 7 out on her own.

Nanny0gg Sun 17-Mar-13 23:20:21

Is your mum in her eighties too?

Too old imo.

Unacceptable Sun 17-Mar-13 23:21:32

My 5yr old wouldn't be taken anywhere without me for more than a day. 2 days at a heart wrenching push. Once they get older maybe but I'd say no. I'd feel very bad about it and shame for your parents etc but I'd still say no

bedmonster Sun 17-Mar-13 23:31:23

I would. My parents are still in their 40s though, I know they could keep up! And dps mum and stepdad are older but equally capable.
Do you trust them? How old is your mum?
Sounds like a lovely opportunity for your ds smile
No one has ever offered though, and now that I have 3 bloody dc, they're not likely to either!!

TheSecondComing Sun 17-Mar-13 23:36:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LowFlyingKites Sun 17-Mar-13 23:41:39

More than it being a "first", I wouldn't for the simple fact of what happens if he gets poorly/has an accident, you can't quickly drive to see him and make sure he's ok, as he's in a different country.
If you trust your parents, then a holiday here would be fine, but not abroad until they are of an age where they won't want you if unwell/something happens IMO.

landofsoapandglory Sun 17-Mar-13 23:45:05

I would've loved my parents to have taken my DC out for the day, nevermind on holiday, but they were too busy taking my soster's kids on numerous holidays.

LowFlyingKites Sun 17-Mar-13 23:45:06

But then, I don't know your DS. If he knows your parents very well and is quite independent, and you don't think he'd end up asking for you then getting upset, then maybe think about it.

But why can't you go along too? I know you said you can't afford one, but it seems a bit strange they're prepared to pay for your child but not you to go. It would be much nicer for you all to have a family holiday surely, unless she's trying to play mum to DS?
(Just guessing from the "you can't afford it" guilt trip comment not sounding very pleasant)

candyandyoga Sun 17-Mar-13 23:47:50

No no and no!

Granitetopping Sun 17-Mar-13 23:49:07


I think that at 83 your Dad is far too old to be looking after a 5 year old. You need eyes in the back of your head!

WhereYouLeftIt Mon 18-Mar-13 00:04:22


The 'firsts' thing would not be the main problem for me. My problem would be - he's 5, what if he gets homesick? They're in Italy and he would just have to wait out the rest of the holiday before they could bring him back. If it was a UK holiday, worst case scenario they could drive him back home and then go back to their holiday.

And as has been pointed out (and you are already aware of) at 83 your dad has absolutely no chance of catching DS if he decides to leg it to e.g. pat the nice doggie on the other side of the road.

LittleEdie Mon 18-Mar-13 00:05:02

No. Me neither. YANBU

SomethingOnce Mon 18-Mar-13 00:40:40

Yeah, the 'firsts' thing baffles me too. You can't expect to be there for the first bloody everything and what's so great about firsts, anyway?

SquinkiesRule Mon 18-Mar-13 00:43:51

I wouldn't. My Grandmother took me without my mother, along with her sister and my Aunt. I was about 9 or 10 I hated it, I missed my Mum even though I knew Gran very well and had stayed overnights since I could remember. It was just weird and I was not comfortable.

nailak Mon 18-Mar-13 00:45:51

yabu, imo this is a trip your daughter will probably remember her whole life. and this may be the last opportunity for her to have a trip like this with her gps.

I would let my mum take my dd on holiday.

WafflyVersatile Mon 18-Mar-13 01:05:06

Will they be staying with family with younger kids and younger adults?

Even so i would be reticent for several of the reasons already given.

A week or two weeks is a long time to look after a 5 year old at their age. It's a long time to be away from mum as a 5 year old. There may not be much in the way of entertainment for your dc or company of other children.

WafflyVersatile Mon 18-Mar-13 01:05:56

And it's not like he'll be OMG I'm so glad I went on holiday to Italy with my GPs when I was 5 instead of my parents when I was 6.

nailak Mon 18-Mar-13 01:50:08

he will if his grandad gets sick, they will be memories he treasures.

MusicalEndorphins Mon 18-Mar-13 05:25:06

* WafflyVersatile Mon 18-Mar-13 01:05:56
And it's not like he'll be OMG I'm so glad I went on holiday to Italy with my GPs when I was 5 instead of my parents when I was 6.
That made me laugh.

OP, ask them to wait until you can all afford to go together perhaps?

McKayz Mon 18-Mar-13 06:04:05

I would be happily packing their bags and waving. I trust my mum and step dad and I know my DSs would have a brilliant time. But my DM and SD are late 40's/ early 50's

Somermummy1 Mon 18-Mar-13 06:51:17

Thanks everyone

The fact that such a mixed response makes me feel so much better!

On the plus side - yes free holiday, memories for DS, Grandad gets to show him where he grew up etc

But he's 5. It's a different country so anything goes wrong (he's ill, my dad takes ill and they have to stay there, my mum gets ill and only person looking after him is 83 yo dad) he's a long way from home. There's a language barrier ... Yes I know s lot of people will speak English but its not the same.

Also this is Florence. Not Disneyland.

And it's where we got married so leaving aside all the other firsts which I may or may not be being precious about, showing him that is pretty important to me

Also - no not staying with relatives but would be hotel.

DM is in 70s and brilliant and a young in her 70s but even so

And DD Is nearly 2. A year from now all 4 of us will have the money and the inclination to go with parents as a family

And this wouldn't be a one off. DM already on about a cruise next and I haven't even said yes to this one!

Costypop Mon 18-Mar-13 06:56:33

I would let him go, ESP since you can't afford a holiday this year, it would stop me feeling so bad about it. I see nothing wrong to be honest

newbiefrugalgal Mon 18-Mar-13 07:02:46

Sorry think you are being selfish and DC is missing out. He will barely remember where he goes but he will remember a special holiday with grandparents.

Emilythornesbff Mon 18-Mar-13 07:03:39

Trust your instincts.

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