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For not wanting my parents to take DS on holiday?

(105 Posts)
Somermummy1 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:41:16

I know this sounds ungrateful but parents want to take 5 yo DS on holiday with them

If he goes this will be his first holiday abroad, first time on a plane etc etc

AIBU to want to be there when he does those things rather than just hear about it later?

We can't afford summer hols abroad this year which DM keeps reminding me but would you let your parents take your DC on their first foreign holiday ?????

IsItMeBU Sun 17-Mar-13 22:42:29

YANBU I wouldn't let my 5 yr old go abroad without me

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 17-Mar-13 22:43:02

Fuck it. Tell them they can take any or all of my kids, then.

WorraLiberty Sun 17-Mar-13 22:43:17

I'd let them because I trust them.

But like you, I'd much prefer to be there to experience the first time with them.

Why does your DM keep reminding you that you can't afford a holiday abroad for a 5yr old?

It's not exactly something they need is it?

LindyHemming Sun 17-Mar-13 22:43:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellybeans Sun 17-Mar-13 22:45:41

No I wouldn't until maybe 12 plus. That's only with my parents and not in laws.

Nanny0gg Sun 17-Mar-13 22:47:30

Not at 5.
Too young I think.

thebody Sun 17-Mar-13 22:47:47

No i definatky wouldn't under any circumstances.

He's 5!!!! No just no for me anyway.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 22:47:54

Wouldn't have bothered me, but I wouldn't deny my child opportunities presented because I couldn't afford them. That's plain selfish and smothering. You cant be there for all your childs 'firsts'

apostropheuse Sun 17-Mar-13 22:48:17

I personally wouldn't have had any problem whatsoever letting my parents take any of my children on holiday abroad with them, even if it was their first time. I don't really "get" the first time for this or that thing.

I would just have been glad that my children were being well looked after, were happy and that they were having fun.

If truth be told I would also have been glad of the break.

In fact, now that I think it, I think I would have kissed their feet in thanksgiving. grin

TheChaoGoesMu Sun 17-Mar-13 22:49:31

I don't know. I'd probably let my mum and dad do it tbh.

seriouscakeeater Sun 17-Mar-13 22:50:12

I would snap it up! Don't spoil it for dc let him enjoy his self.

Somermummy1 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:52:35


Not just me then

I do trust them. They're great with him but haven't got that same eyes in the back of the head thing going on. Not that DS would run off etc but can imagine DM being distracted for a minute and he's wandered off to look at something random and its all gone hideously wrong .....

And they want to take him to Italy where my dads from before my dad (83) is too old to travel .... So it's even harder to say no but on the other hand DS wouldn't give a stuff about statues and architecture

Duty as a daughter to let them is wrestling with mummy instinct not to!

thebody Sun 17-Mar-13 22:55:34

For me its bit the fact that its a first foreign holiday as an experience.

But who the hell wants to be without their 5 year old for possibly 2 weeks?

Just wierd.

Take him to Wales. Digging in the sand and sheltering in caves from the rain. Children's farms and finding crabs in pools.

Far far more fun than hours at the airport, hours on a hot coach, hours by a too hot pool or babysat by teens at a kids club.

And no mum and dad!

SashaSashays Sun 17-Mar-13 22:56:43

I'd let them, great opportunity for your DS plus good for getting that closeness with his grandparents. Plus a break of you.

I often let my parents take some of my DCs on holiday, they love it. I wouldn't deny them something because I couldn't afford it or wanted to be present.

IroningBoredDaily Sun 17-Mar-13 22:56:43

No way. I wouldn't let my 5yr old or 10yr old go abroad without me.

Somermummy1 Sun 17-Mar-13 22:56:47

Oops took me so long to type 2nd post I missed a load in the meantime

If he was older I'd be thrilled by the way .... It's not just the 'firsts' issue.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 17-Mar-13 22:59:55

Wouldn't they be able to pay for you to go along too?

mysteryfairy Sun 17-Mar-13 23:00:39

I let my parents take my 2 DSs abroad during the summer holidays when they were the age of your DS. I really had no choice as it was two weeks of summer holiday childcare sorted and I was incredibly grateful. However my parents were mid 50s at the time. They were also going to my dad's home country and there were lots of relatives to share the load of the boys when they got there. I would hesitate to send a small boy with your parents as your dad is so elderly. It would not because of any preciousness over firsts but simply because I think that is too old to care 24/7 for a small child and I would worry your dad would get exhausted. However I can see why your dad wants to take his DGS to Italy and I think you may end up with regrets in future if you absolutely refuse. Would it be impractical for you to go to?

seeker Sun 17-Mar-13 23:03:27

Why is abroad so scary? Abroad is easier to get to than Wales!

Unless you live in Wales, obviously!

DeepRedBetty Sun 17-Mar-13 23:03:29

I'm not sure I could have handed them over for two whole weeks at that age. Now that they're 14 I'd be overjoyed if someone wanted to take them away... but none of the grannies/aunties seem to want to. sad

ThePinkOcelot Sun 17-Mar-13 23:03:37

No way, I wouldn't let my dds go abroad without me. Did you say your dad was 83? A tad too old to be looking after a 5 year old IMO.
If you don't want him to go, just say no.

Somermummy1 Sun 17-Mar-13 23:04:48

Yup if they wanted to. Also have soon to be 2 yo DD and they want to take him to city where DH and I got married so lots of reason to want to take him ourselves

anonymosity Sun 17-Mar-13 23:06:31

I agree about the 12 plus. My parents couldn't cope with my DCs full time for a week or more (kids aged 5&6) and would be very quickly tired out.

DragonMamma Sun 17-Mar-13 23:08:19

Dc1 is 5 and went away for a week with my dm and rest of the family - we'd already been abroad for 2 weeks and couldn't afford another holiday so I wasn't going to have her miss out.

I'm with holly - I don't get the obsessions with firsts either.

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