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to think SIL is being tight & a bit bonkers

(34 Posts)
wimblehorse Sat 16-Mar-13 11:21:55

We are due to go away over Easter with my in-laws. Maybe IABU (or stupid) for doing that in the first place!

There will be me, dh, ds (4), dd (4 months), SIL, BIL, dn1 (13), dn2(11), MIL and FIL. The deal is that PIL are paying for the accommodation and then between SIL and us, we would arrange and pay for food & drink. We have done this before, arranging a big online shop, though previously split food & accommodation 3 ways (us, SIL and PIL).

SIL reckons that we should pay for dd's food separately from the big shop because that won't be "communal". Dd will be 5 months old and is being mixed fed so her "food" will consist of a few small cartons of formula (plus we will bring a tub of powder as we get through one every 2-3 weeks so will robably have one open to use up), so probably cost around £5. We will be ordering all sorts of other items that are more suitable for her kids than the rest of us, and I will be drinking very little as am bf, I think she is being really tight. Particularly as in the past she has benefited from only paying 1/3 of the accommodation cost, yet taken half the rooms for her family.

I have offered to pay extra for the formula btw, but she said she "doesn't want it to go on the communal shop". I guess I will just have to bring the cartons along, but AIBU to feel a bit confused and think she is being overly tight?

ENormaSnob Sat 16-Mar-13 12:58:01

Even with the baby formula this is seriously skewed in sil favour.

After her petty meanness there's no way I would be doing a 50/50 split with her.

I would be dividing it per person excluding alcohol which each family can provide seperately.

Therefore you pay 3 parts plus one part for pil, they pay 4 parts plus 1 part for Pil. I would insist on this as the fairest option.

Xales Sat 16-Mar-13 13:04:07

Email her back asking if she seriously thinks a few 'non communal' cartons of formula for your DD are going to exceed the amount extra that her and her H will consume in alcohol as you are still mixed feeding and will be limiting your drinking but that of course you wouldn't have brought that up and just gone with the even split because you are not a petty cow. However now that she has mentioned it...

RoseandVioletCreams Sat 16-Mar-13 13:06:32

I feel v uncomfortable sharing budgets with people who are this extreme to dot the I.

It upsets me, because I used to be the kind of person who would trust that person to also act with ingegrity after pushing such a small point, but people like this rarely do! She will break her own rule in some way and then you will be left fuming.

I would do my own shop and keep it all seperate.

breatheslowly Sat 16-Mar-13 14:42:51

She is being very weird and I think you could easily outdo her on the splitting things due to there being more of them who will eat and drink alcohol. She is being particularly weird in not allowing it to go on the communal shop even if you pay for it. Is she a hardcore BFer?

I think you should go back to her with a very complicated process of dividing the food bill more "fairly", possibly using the estimated weight of each person attending, then number of units of alcohol you anticipate that they will drink per night and a long paragraph about who you think will use more loo roll. But I might just think that for my own amusement.

Catsdontcare Sat 16-Mar-13 14:46:15

Tell her you will pay for your own family and MIL and she can pay for her family and father in law.

RainbowsFriend Sat 16-Mar-13 16:34:19

Just a thought - but is it that she has an "ethical" stance against buying formula?

Otherwise she's bonkers nd tight

idiuntno57 Sat 16-Mar-13 16:45:45

SIBU but is it worth getting in a lather about?

looks like the holiday is going to be tense. Even before it starts.

wimblehorse Sat 16-Mar-13 17:25:09

Love sparkly's game idea but v tempted by dividing the bill according to family weight...

wimblehorse Sat 16-Mar-13 17:29:06

No, not a militant bfer at all dn1 was bf but dn2 was f2f from birth.

Idiunt yes tense is exactly how I anticipate it being. There had better be wireless there so I can get some more "game" ideas...

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