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to secretly be a bit resentful for NO reason?

(26 Posts)
somedayma Mon 11-Mar-13 19:54:27

This is a stupid AIBU and I know I AM being unreasonable.

My flatmate (and very dear friend) has a couple of friends staying tonight- they'll be sleeping in her bed. Flatmate and her bf will be sleeping on the sofa in the living room (not sure how they'll fit on one narrow sofa!).

I'm getting up at 4am to leave the flat at 5 to get a train to the other end of the country for a job interview. maybe I'm a bit pissed off knowing that no matter how quiet they are, I will prob be woken when they all stumble home at 3

Flatmate asked if her and her bf can have my bed once I've left at 5. WHY HAS THIS ANNOYED ME?! I can't think of any good reason to say no so of course I said yes. She said 'oh don't worry about tidying up or anything' but of course I did. My room is tidy anyway but I felt the need to give it a good going over anyway. I feel like I should change my fake tan stained sheets for them when I get up. But I probably won't be arsed.

Tell me I'm being a dick, I can take it

ClippedPhoenix Mon 11-Mar-13 19:56:43

I'd not want anyone in my bed either, unless of course I'd invited them. Your flat mate is bloody cheeky. My room would be off bounds for shagging friends full stop.

somedayma Mon 11-Mar-13 19:58:06

She's really lovely and if I said 'no' she wouldn't argue or use my bed anyway (I think). But I don't have any reason to say no really. Just that it's MY bedroom. Which isn't much of a reason!

doctorhamster Mon 11-Mar-13 19:58:30

I don't think yabu at all actually. I wouldn't want my flatmate and her boyfriend shagging in my bed.

AndBingoWasHisNameOh Mon 11-Mar-13 19:58:40

I wouldn't be thrilled about it. Is she going to change the sheets after they've been slept in by her friends at least?

chickencurryfor7 Mon 11-Mar-13 19:59:08

YANBU - that's gross! Why would you want your flatmate & her bf in YOUR bed? I would be well pissed off if I was asked and would definitely say no.

somedayma Mon 11-Mar-13 20:00:44

bingo her friends are staying in her bed, she wants my bed for herself and her bf. no I doubt she'll change my sheets. I feel like I should change them for her though- not FOR them but more for me cos it weirds me out that they'll be sleeping in my 'used' bed. If you see what I mean

ClippedPhoenix Mon 11-Mar-13 20:01:33

It being your room is reason enough.

And yuck to her shagging in your bed.

As for you changing the sheets first, and tidying up, well.

OP you need to stop being so soft.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged Mon 11-Mar-13 20:01:58

Ask her if she will strip the bed when they get up. At least then it's one less thing to do when you get back.

Good luck with the interview grin

Hassled Mon 11-Mar-13 20:02:10

Oh I'd HATE that. Beds are your own personal space, aren't they?

The best of luck with the interview - and don't panic about lack of sleep; adrenalin will keep you going in those circumstances. It's the day after you'll be feeling like death.

ClippedPhoenix Mon 11-Mar-13 20:02:16

Well they shouldn't be "using" your bed, you have this all back to front.

somedayma Mon 11-Mar-13 20:02:27

our living room is freezing. It's single glazed and snowy here- they'll have a shit night's sleep. Even if it was warm they'll be sharing one narrow sofa. Which makes me feel like I'm being VU to be annoyed that she asked.

I've said yes now anyway. Huff

G1nebra Mon 11-Mar-13 20:04:19

flat sharing! argh! wouldn't be able for it anymore

MechanicalTheatre Mon 11-Mar-13 20:04:48

You're not BU at all. I would hate anyone to stay in my bed.

racingheart Mon 11-Mar-13 20:05:34

You're allowed to feel huffy and you are kind to have said yes. You're treating people the way you'd like to be treated - being considerate of them even if their way of doing things doesn't quite fit your way of thinking. I think you sound like a really nice person, huff or no huff.

chocoluvva Mon 11-Mar-13 20:09:29

I'd have been the same - said yes, but felt quietly really annoyed.

I wouldn't ask someone to use their bed either. She shouldn't really have arranged to put so many people up in your flat. D'you think she's just a bit thoughtless?

Good luck with your interview.

BinarySolo Mon 11-Mar-13 20:10:09

YAreallyNBU. It's YOUR bed. She is bloody cheeky for asking. And at the very least he should change your sheets. I would not be happy about this at all.

Do you have a bf you could invite I stay so that he bed isn't 'free' when you leave?

EndoplasmicReticulum Mon 11-Mar-13 20:12:11

Oh no, I wouldn't want flatmates in my bed. I also wouldn't want extras staying over if I had to be up that early for an interview.

And if they woke me up coming in late, I'd be REALLY NOISY when I got up early in the morning.

somedayma Mon 11-Mar-13 20:26:07

Thanks for the good luck wishes! I don't have a bf no. I do have Someone I'm Shagging but he's never even been to my flat, we always stay at his cos he lives alone and therefore noisy shagging isn't a problem grin

cumfy Tue 12-Mar-13 00:33:08


Are you going to get enough sleep for your interview though ?

somedayma Tue 12-Mar-13 00:37:34

No definitely not! I'm still awake now! But I'm not a good sleeper anyway, I'll be grand smile

catlady1 Tue 12-Mar-13 00:47:37

I would probably say yes too, not because I'd want to but because I'm soft and can't think of a good reason to say no. But I would probably mention the fake tan stains jokingly, and as someone else said, maybe ask them to strip the bed when they get up. Just say you were going to do it anyway so they don't think you're saying that they're minging or anything grin. Definitely don't change the bed for them, especially if there's any chance they might end up shagging in it.

somedayma Tue 12-Mar-13 05:55:38

well, I'm on the train now, flatmate's bf didn't stay after all so it's just my flatmate in my bed. Which is better!

Glad her friends were only staying one night- I woke up thinking I could hear one of those director clapper board things- it was male guest spanking female guest shock. Complete with quite a loud vocal response from her.


drinkyourmilk Tue 12-Mar-13 06:20:05

Shudder. And THAT is why is hated sharing. (Not that I had any choice for years as quite frankly I didn't have enough money not to!)

Good luck with the interview. Any chance you catch a bit more sleep on the train?

BinarySolo Tue 12-Mar-13 07:23:11

Good luck with the interview. Have a bit of chocolate for energy before you go in.

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