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... to feel so upset cos no-one has made any effort on Mothers Day?

(93 Posts)
needtonamechangeforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 17:17:25

Yes, I know there are people who no longer have their mother with them, and way too sadly, people who would just like to have their children with them today and my heart goes out to those of you in that situation. So in a way, I know already I am being unreasonable and a bit spoilt brattish. But for the 1st time since I had children, Mothers Day has just been like any other Sunday. I have 2 older teenagers, one living at home, one not. They have both sent me "happy mothers day" messages on FB... but otherwise, you wouldn't know it was mothers day. Don't get me wrong, I really, really don't expect gifts, or even cards. Just a bit more acknowledgement than a FB message that it's Mothers' Day. I guess it's just time to face up to the fact that Mum isn't that important to them any more. But it hurts.

needtonamechangeforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 18:11:35

thanks Montage... and I do get that. This might sound sexist, but it hits me way harder that my 15 year old DD has decided that Mothers Day isn't that important (because she would "get" that the day is important to me) way more than if her 20 year old brother hadn't done naything more than send a quick message.

Horsemad Sun 10-Mar-13 18:11:48

Teens are so wrapped up in themselves that yes, you do need to remind them! In an ideal world you wouldn't have to, but there you go...
I've had nice gifts but I suspect my DH arranged them. I've had a nice day doing nothing - but that's because I've just sat down and let everyone else get on with it, not because they are pampering me! smile

shrimponastick Sun 10-Mar-13 18:11:49

No going out for dinner here either.

Ah well. Plenty more wine. And gin.

Unmumsnetty hugs to all who are in the same boat. << >>

needtonamechangeforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 18:14:29

Horsemad, kinda get that about teenagers... but have had teenagers for 6 years... and first time MD has been sidelined. Probably why it's hard, I can't put it down to teenagers because my teenagers have always come good up til now

Horsemad Sun 10-Mar-13 18:14:53

We're gaving takeaway because DH didn't realise that cooking dinner involved roasting a chicken grin

needtonamechangeforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 18:16:36

enjoy your takeaway Horsemad.... am leaving this thread now, just wanted a rant and am now feeling worse than I did before x

Horsemad Sun 10-Mar-13 18:17:12

Well I think they do become a bit self obsessed, even if previously they've remembered, so maybe start withdrawing a few favours and get them thinking...

Horsemad Sun 10-Mar-13 18:19:15

I'm sorry need hope it's nothing I in particular have said. sad

Get your DH to remind them that it might be nice to think of Mum occasionally. XX

montage Sun 10-Mar-13 18:21:43

If it helps to amuse anyone I decided to take control of the day myself and tried taking DS (intellectually disabled) out for lunch and in his enthusiasm he knocked my water over my lunch.

I then tried the cinema (could've been a nice sitdown for me wink) but he couldn't settle and after he had spilt yoghurt over me we gave up and left.

I tried taking him into the flower shop but he understandably chose a balloon there instead and then he bit that anyway.

I seem to have spent a lot of money on attempting to treat myself without any actual benefit yet!

toddlerama Sun 10-Mar-13 18:27:40

Oh montage what a day! flowers

needtonamechange sorry you had a crappy day. Next year, be very clear in the week leading up to it that you would like some form of recognition. Whatever it is, spell it out. And have some flowers from me.

montage Sun 10-Mar-13 18:36:09

I feel I have at least done my bit to support local buisnesses toddlerama

gardenfan Sun 10-Mar-13 18:44:37

Sorry you feel so hurt, but i am sure that this is not an indication that they love you any less. love can be shown in so many ways, a smile, a hug, an affectionate message etc, please feel secure in the knowledge that you are loved and appreciated every day, not just on mothers day

Writehand Sun 10-Mar-13 18:54:00

I think one of the very, very few advantages to being a lone parent is that your kids appreciate you and see you as a person, not just a parent. I'm their only parent, so on Mother's Day I get cherished. Tulips, chocolate and a card with a really moving message written inside from them both.

I used to make a fuss of my own Mum when I was a kid, but she had my Dad too, so I didn't think of her as needing my appreciation let alone support. Selfish little cow I was.

needtonamechangeforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 19:41:00

the worst thing is that even as I penned the OP, I thought they were maybe having a laugh, and that MD would be celebrated this evening, round the evening meal. But no, not a thing. Am way more upset than when I first opened this thread.

GirlOutNumbered Sun 10-Mar-13 19:49:58

It's just a day that the card and flower companies love. Do you feel valued and loved normally?

SquirrelSpit Sun 10-Mar-13 19:54:51

YANBU! Sorry you had a shit day too.
Today is my first mothers day (dd is 13 weeks) i didn't get a card, or even a verbal 'happy mothers day' from anybody. I was actually and embarassingly looking forward to it too. I keep welling up a bit over it, i just wanted a card that said 'mum' on blush sad

needtonamechangeforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 19:55:14

so you didn't get anything special either then GirlOutNumbered?

Horsemad Sun 10-Mar-13 20:05:11

Girl is right though - we should be raising our DC to be thoughtful all the time, not just on a day marked on the calendar as MD.

Writehand Sun 10-Mar-13 20:07:48

SquirrelSpit, I'm sure your 13 week DD would've got you a card if she could. Did your partner not know how much it would mean to you, or is there no other adult who could have got one for you on her behalf?

needtonamechangeforthis Sun 10-Mar-13 20:09:00

totally agree, absolutely. But it's very easy for those of you who have had cards, gifts, meals out, TLC, been made to feel special etc etc to fob off those of us who are feeling a bit undervalued by saying it's not just about one day... when you've been spoilt and made a fuss of.

Horsemad Sun 10-Mar-13 20:17:28

I know need, but you are going to write this one off and make sure your DC know how much this has upset you. X

Rhubarbgarden Sun 10-Mar-13 20:19:26

Squirrelspit I know how you feel; naff all here either from dh on behalf of my two preschoolers. I hate Mothers Day anyway because my Mum died a few years ago and it's just salt rubbed into the wound. I spent most of the day bursting into tears for that reason, and you know what, a bunch of daffs or a box of chocs from dh would have cheered me up a bit. But no.

SquirrelSpit Sun 10-Mar-13 20:21:39

Aparantley DP 'forgot' despite traveling to see his own DM on Friday to give her a card and present. He is back at work tonight so on my own again and was just another run of the mil day. Just would have been nice, i know i don't have a lot to complain about, but i was actually suprised by how much it upset me.

SquirrelSpit Sun 10-Mar-13 20:23:34

It's shit isn't it Rhubarb - it doesn't take a lot of thought or effort either really does it, but would have meant a lot to us

Horsemad Sun 10-Mar-13 20:25:51

All the mums with DC too young to do anything and whose DPs or DHs have made no effort should be giving your partners a massive kick up the backside angry on your behalf.

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