I have 3 DC's, and DD2 is nearly 17. I adopted her when she was 8 years old.
This is tagging on the end of the last month or so, after she met her other/first/birth mum in a shop (complete surprise, just bumped into each other) and they've been facebooking each other etc since. And I have been through a lot of emotions regarding that
Anyway, today she gave me a mothers day card and gift - obviously organised by DD1 but this is what happens every year so doesn't bother me - and I was ever so happy until about half an hour ago. Apart from giving me the card, she's not been pleasant to be with all day. Argumentative, defiant, now she's completely ignoring me (not responding at all when I talk to her) to play with her neice (DD1's little girl) instead. So I went on Facebook to wish my friends a good day, and found DD2 has posted a lovely message to her other mum, 'Dear Mum, I luv you soooo much hav a luvly day, ur amazing xxxxxxx'... (lots of kisses and hug signs)...and Mum is happy and telling DD what a sweetie pie she is and how much she loves her little pumpkin. Great. Except that I feel like shit.
I want a facebook message telling me she loves me (she did send her mum a MD card, the message wasn't a replacement for that) as well. I want her to see me as 'mum' as well. I'm quite fine with being one of two mums, I really am, but I'm miserable feeling like 'nice lady I live with' compared with 'actual mum'. :(
And yes, I know this must be a hard day for DD and throwing up lots of hard stuff for her. I do get it. But I've spent 8 years being mum, doing mum things...fighting for her in school, fighting for her to get therapy and going through it with her, loving her, trying to make her feel safe, and actually living with her and her emotional, behavioural and MH issues. But this really bloody hurts. AIBU here?
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AIBU?
To want her to see me as mum, not 'the lady I live with'?
34 replies
Lilka · 10/03/2013 17:00
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