Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2

AIBU?

AIBU about exP who seems to think we are still together?

46 replies

BlackMini · 10/03/2013 12:51

I'm really at my wits end with all of this. Me and exP still live together, we broke up just after Christmas but are both trapped into a 6 month contract renting that we stupidly signed in November. Neither can afford the rent here if the other person leaves.

He very quickly moved onto someone else. I found texts talking about passionate encounters and made it clear that this was a dealbreaker for me. Previously we had been in discussions about whether or not we could make it work if we both tried.

Since I have not been interested and moved into the spare room, he's become ridiculously clingly. Like a small child constantly wanting attention. If I am working in the same room as him on my computer at the table, he is constantly calling me asking "did you see that, this is so funny" etc.

I have a really important interview tomorrow for my dream job and a chance at a good career with prospects. It is in a city he has previously lived in. I had arranged to meet up with a colleague toninght who lives in the city for dinner, a lovely young guy. ExP has invited himself along as a "well if you're going that way I might as well get a lift". He has taken it upon himself to book me a hotel (that I was going to book anyway but was at work yesterday) in his name, which means I can't go without his credit card to check in.

I am stressed about this interview. I just wanted to get to my hotel early today and sit and do my preparation, I also have to leave straight after to head to a conference up country for work which is adding to the stress of packing etc. I made it clear I was leaving at 12 today and he decided to go out with friends an hour away anyway. He still isn't back.

His parents are driving down country as we are driving up and now he wants to meet with them and we must meet with them wherever in the country that may be. He says if it means waiting at home for hours for them to drive past, then so be it. He has never cared about birthdays, christmas or mothers day before. But now apparently he must see his mother today. I havn't seen my mother as she lives hours away, so I don't see why it is so important.

He is using my fear of snow and driving in this city to his advantage and I am fucking fed up of him. AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

NewAtThisMalarky · 10/03/2013 12:54

Make your own plans. Book a hotel room, and find another way of getting there- public transport?

So not allow him to try and make himself indispensable like this.

CocacolaMum · 10/03/2013 12:55

Go without him, book yourself into a Travelodge or whatever. You need to have a discussion about boundaries I think. Good luck x

trixymalixy · 10/03/2013 12:57

Go without him. Book a room on your own.

tattychicken · 10/03/2013 12:57

Why are you waiting for him? Just go. Book your own hotel, meet up with your mate. None of it has got anything to do with him. YABU to be hanging around while he is pulling your strings.

RandomMess · 10/03/2013 12:57

Why are you letting him sabotage your job interview?

FatimaLovesBread · 10/03/2013 12:58

Just get in the car and go without him

Kat101 · 10/03/2013 12:59

I imagine he would like the best of both worlds, you at home and a bit of fun on the side. Is it too late to make your own arrangements today? You need to keep him well out of any plans you have. He can't just opt in to your relationship when he sees you striking out on your own and sees his security blanket slipping away.

In other words, he's trying to play you like a good 'un.

LessMissAbs · 10/03/2013 13:02

Agee with the advice above. That sounds really annoying. Who does he think he is? Simon Cowell, keeping in with his ex-girlfriends?

Seabright · 10/03/2013 13:03

Go alone. I find driving in cities isn't as bad as I think it'll be in advance - there is more traffic & traffic lights etc, so traffic moves slowly & you can see ahead where you need to go and have time to get in the right lane etc.

He's being an arse, wanting his cake and eating it. Tough luck! He's made his choice!

Good luck! I am sure the interview will be excellent.

teatrolley · 10/03/2013 13:05

Go without him. He can only do this if you go along with it.

Megatron · 10/03/2013 13:09

Go without him. Now.

He is controlling you and a situation that actually is no business of his. Please don't let him ruin your future plans.

TroublesomeEx · 10/03/2013 13:10

Go without him!

He can only do all this because you are letting him.

And I'm not sure why you would.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 10/03/2013 13:20

Yeah, go without him, he does it because you wont stop him, tell him straight.

ratspeaker · 10/03/2013 13:32

Is there any sign of him coming back to drive?
Do his parents know you have split up?

Get yourself online and look up train and bus times
Look up Premier Inns/Travelodge etc

Then just go

ratspeaker · 10/03/2013 13:32

Oh good luck with the interview

SkinnybitchWannabe · 10/03/2013 13:38

Go wothout him, and don't tell him any of your business in the future.
Good luck with the interview

Trills · 10/03/2013 13:40

You made it clear you were leaving at 12.

So leave.

Get yourself a hotel.

Was he expecting to stay with you in the hotel that he booked?

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy · 10/03/2013 13:44

Leave now. Go to the city, go to a hotel and book a room.

You're doing exactly what hes planned, waiting around for him.

Fuck that. Go, now. Sodd him, sodd his parents all of them are nothing to do with you. Get a back bone and leave (I mean that nicely, encouragingly not nasty).

Good luck with the interview.

SugarPasteGreyhound · 10/03/2013 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jux · 10/03/2013 13:48

He's sabotaging you. Leave without him, go to a different hotel if you can, and leave him out of all your plans.

Your acquiescence to him means you are still involved too. Detach and ignore. Do your stuff and if he factors himself in, just ignore it and go ahead anyway. Treat all this as if it hadn't happened. None of it is your problem.

FGS, don't wait for him. Don't use the room he's booked. Call your friend and arrange to meet somewhere else.

BeckAndCall · 10/03/2013 13:48

FGS get in with it! Book a different hotel with your own credit card, phone your idea and change your meeting up venue and just GO!

Sugarice · 10/03/2013 13:57

I second everyone else and hope you're on your way without this dickhead dictating what is happening!

Good luck with your interview and enjoy the meal with your mate, book different accomodation.

Ignore the Ex if he starts texting and don't tell him where you're staying.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

SugarPasteGreyhound · 10/03/2013 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GailTheGoldfish · 10/03/2013 14:03

Just read this. Hope you have left already and are ignoring any texts or calls from him. Don't let him control you.

GailTheGoldfish · 10/03/2013 14:04

Posted too early, also meant to say don't screw up the interview which is about your future for his sake. He is your past.

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.