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...when receiving a CRAP mother's day gift (from the husband)...

(187 Posts)
OvenReady Sun 10-Mar-13 10:53:15

I cried.

We've had a tough couple of years (PND, social services, 2 miscarriages yada yada yada) so I kind of hoped this MD would be special. My DS is 2 so has no say in the card and gift giving.

The gift? "Hairy Dieters Cookbook".

I cried, and slowly pushed away the pancakes from breakfast.

clarasebal Wed 18-Sep-13 19:25:57

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Spero Tue 12-Mar-13 08:58:41

Then do it in a less inflammatory way and I won't feel compelled to respond will I? HTH

INeedThatForkOff Tue 12-Mar-13 08:02:24

<spectacularly misses the point>


Hai1988 Tue 12-Mar-13 07:57:27

I get the gift was proberly a bit insensitivebut why did he even get u anything ur not his mum. A homemade card from ds does me smile means more than any of the shop bought crap u can get!

Sparklyboots Mon 11-Mar-13 22:39:07

No one is encouraging you? They are asking you in fact to STFU. HTH

Spero Mon 11-Mar-13 17:06:30

I am not trying to 'excessively hammer home a point' I am making a point. I don't see the problem. Probably best not to encourage me if you feel so strongly?

haggisaggis Mon 11-Mar-13 15:12:38

Er - dh bought me that book for mother's day too - and I love it. He knows I like cook books, and he knows both he and I need to lose some weight - so I see it as a thoughtful gift. But it obviously all comes down to personal feelings as to whether it is a good gift or a bad one.

scaredbutexcited Mon 11-Mar-13 14:40:57

I'm really sorry for all you have been through. It sounds as though you have had a very tough couple of years.

Your reaction to this presents leads me to think you are still (understandably) grieving and have some ongoing issues that you and your DH need to talk thorough.

AIBU is probably not the best place for that but there are other sections on here or perhaps the samaritans or similar?

On top of that, I think a good talk with DH about how both of you is feeling may help (but I appreciate I know very little about you him).

I don't think this is a cookbook issue though and I hope you can work through things and feel better soon. Good luck. thanks

INeedThatForkOff Mon 11-Mar-13 13:42:27

Spero, for fuck's sake let it go.

OxfordBags Mon 11-Mar-13 13:30:06

What is fucking wrong with you, Spero? Seriously?

I hope you're getting a big kick out of obsessively trying to hammer home what you consider home truths even when it's clear that it's unnecessary and upsetting an already fragile OP. Why do you feel the need to keep pointing that stuff out to her? What is wrong with you that you feel that need?! What you say might have truth to it, but there's ways and times to say it or not and you're waaaay off the mark here.

curryeater Mon 11-Mar-13 10:56:07

wtf Spero? what do you get out of this? [boggle]

Spero Mon 11-Mar-13 10:50:52

Don't click on the thread or ask for it to be deleted. Why expose yourself to something you find so hurtful?

BumBiscuits Mon 11-Mar-13 10:49:54

Last Xmas DH got me some Clarins anti-ageing cream from my DDs. I returned it and got my Eau Dynamisante that I love. I had a friendly word to the assistant. I hopefully educated her and her young colleague about not selling anti-wrinkle treatments to OH/DH/Sons as gifts unless there was a written request from the recipient.

A Rosemary Conley (for example) diet book would upset me but the Hairy Bikers one doesn't sound as if it was bought as a would be the least offensive of all the diet books IMO. I do see why you were hurt though.

OvenReady Mon 11-Mar-13 10:45:52

A polite request: can you stop now, please. Just stop.

Spero Mon 11-Mar-13 10:35:37

If you want sympathy, go to real people who love you.

If you want opinions and different perspectives, you go on the internet.

If you are fragile, recognise that strangers behind a keyboard are not the best people to respond to and respect that.

differentnameforthis Mon 11-Mar-13 10:32:31

She wanted some sympathy, thought she could get it here...she wanted to sound off, be pissed off somewhere safe.

She didn't get that, it doesn't matter which area of the fiorum she posted on really, AIBU is just an excuse for those among us to feel superior & be arses.

You have to forget where she posted & take the op at face value. Poor woman wanted some laughs & cheering up, instead most of you shouted her down! Sad.

DangerousBeanz Mon 11-Mar-13 10:05:39

My DD was sick 3 times on Saturday night/ Sunday morning. My DP cleaned it all up and cleaned the carpet. Best Mothers Day present ever. BTW it was a very tactless gift, but it is a very very good book.

maddening Mon 11-Mar-13 09:58:27

But she did state that at the outset - in the op - and usually on mn people do respect that but they haven't on this thread.

Spero Mon 11-Mar-13 08:57:40

if you chose to ask random strangers if you are being unreasonable they will answer. I don't think you can expect or demand great sensitivity to the degree of mental ill health you may or may not be suffering unless you spell it out very clearly at the outset. If you are feeling fragile this is not the place for you.

Sorry if I sound harsh but I think that is the reality. I have seen a lot of people get very upset on threads and I do wonder why they put themselves through it.

maddening Mon 11-Mar-13 07:11:34

Spero : Also I don't think the onus is on posters to gauge the mental fragility of any particular op - you ask a question of random internet strangers, they will answer.

The clue was in the op - have been suffering with pnd etc etc

differentnameforthis Mon 11-Mar-13 06:01:46

Wow, what a fucking heartless bunch we have here today!

OP is upset, so instead of trying to cheer her up you all gang up on her telling her to be grateful, telling her to try being a single parent, etc etc.

How about taking the time to find out why this hurt her so much? If there is anything else she is worried about/struggling with!

This is mumsnet at its' worse!

Gingerodgers Mon 11-Mar-13 05:50:47

Too much is made of Mother's Day. You are not your husbands mother,you are not your husbands mother, again? If your kids are too young, then they are too young, wait until they are old enough to make a fuss, and let husbands fuss over their own mums, if they want. Lots of neediness around just now.

Toadinthehole Mon 11-Mar-13 04:42:52

Also (this to Mama) there's nothing wrong with practical presents: why should they always have to be some token that the giver 'understands' you?

Seems like some people have got so much money that they exist on a diet of presents.

Toadinthehole Mon 11-Mar-13 04:39:05

Since when did it become obligatory to buy presents on Mothers' Day?

Christmas. Birthdays. Anniversaries. St Valentine's Day. I think it's getting ridiculous.

mama04 Mon 11-Mar-13 03:50:39

My Dh got me a poop scoop confused from Dc... seriously MEN!!!!

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