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to think that we should all let our dh's off the hook on Mother's Day?

(108 Posts)
pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 22:49:27

Well am I?

To put it into context, I don't think they should look to us on Father's Day either...but in truth few men seem to. In general, it's us women who hold stock by these things.

It is very nice to feel appreciated. I understand that. But Mother's Day is about appreciating your mother surely?

I can also relate to having your dh take the opportunity to let you know he appreciates you as a mother, but expectations of how elaborately he expresses this seem to be high and getting higher.

Give them a break. Your turn will come. Your grown up children will come and spend time with you on Mother's Day.

If your dh puts out for his own mum, then he's doing alright. That's what we like to see.
Your turn will come.

I wish everyone a good day tomorrow. Personally, I will be getting homemade cards and breakfast in bed, then dh and I are leaving the kids with dh's aunt, and going out to pick up some craft materials and have lunch out. He will be popping round his mum's later with a gift and a posy. No hassle, no stress.

Remember, if someone doesn't know that they are being tested, they are never going to pass.

Perspective is a good thing. xxx

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Mar-13 22:54:53

No, no, NO!

Never let them off, it's a sign of weakness and then you've lost the chance of something that can be brought up at opportune moments for the next 20 years.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Sat 09-Mar-13 22:57:06

grin Zigzag

pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 22:59:05

Honestly, I just see the board full of disappointment and upset over Mother's Day tonight, and it hasn't even happened it yet. It's not till tomorrow!

When did Mother's Day become statutory husband test?

Beamur Sat 09-Mar-13 22:59:35

I've already let mine off the hook this year by telling him I'd bought myself a Mothers Day present grin
DD has already given me a card she made at school as she was too excited about it to wait until Sunday.
I have a card, flowers and perfume for my Mum to give her tomorrow.

MumVsKids Sat 09-Mar-13 23:00:15

"If someone doesn't know they are being tested, they are never going to pass"

Thank you for this, I need to remember this, tomorrow and in the future.

MrsMushroom Sat 09-Mar-13 23:01:55

No. YABU. The day one of them tried to bring in Steak and Blowjob day was the day they killed their chances of reprieve.


If I do not get satisfactory gifts tomorrow...I WILL kick off.

pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 23:01:58

And let's face it - we've just got over Valentine's Day! A similar farce.

simplesusan Sat 09-Mar-13 23:02:09

How do you know that you will be getting breakfast in bed?
Is your dh doing this for you , or are your dcs older?

I let everyone know it is mother's day and I want a rest, otherwise I would be expected to carry on as usual doing the majority of the household chores.

You are also lucky to have someone who will look after your dcs so that you are free to go off and enjoy yourself tomorrow. Not everyone has this.

MikeLitoris Sat 09-Mar-13 23:02:54

I was going to post pretty much word for word the same thing today. Possibly less polite.

Lovelygoldboots Sat 09-Mar-13 23:06:06

My dp's mum bought a viccy sponge with happy mothers day iced on it today. It's gone now. It was really nice. Sorry for hijack, just wanted to share.

pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 23:07:41

We don't really have a lot of it either. Dh's aunt comes along about every three months and spends the day cooking and having fun with the children, so dh and I can have a day to ourselves.
It so happens that this time it coincides with Mother's Day.

Kids are 11, 5 and 4. Breakfast eill be from my 11 yr old. He will spill coffee all over the stairs and the toast will be pitiful, but I will beam at him and tell him that it is wonderful! grin
Cards from the 5 and 4 yr old...I will of course be in raptures.

Then offski.

WorraLiberty Sat 09-Mar-13 23:07:45

Well said pictish

Every year on MN there seem to be so many threads berating DH's for not buying cards/flowers/gifts etc.

But not for their Mums...for their DW's!

I really don't get it.

Mother's day is for Mothers and if your 5 week old baby hasn't bought you a card and a bunch of flowers...that's because they're 5 bloody weeks old!

As you say, the time will come when they're old enough.

MikeLitoris Sat 09-Mar-13 23:08:09

Do we really need mothers day to have a rest?

Must be mothers day a few times a month in my house. I spent most of my sundays doing nothing grin

AlexReidsLonelyBraincell Sat 09-Mar-13 23:08:54

I'm not keen on breakfast in bed, i can never get comfy and I always feel a bit skanky sitting there all unwashed... and the crumbs!.

I'm happy with my nice coffee that DH makes for me most days and whatever little gifts the dc have come up with at nursery and school.

We're not ones for Valentines Day and the like either.

<aware am probably alone with this one> grin

pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 23:10:32

Oh I hate breakfast in bed. But I love how proud and happy it makes ds1.

Theas18 Sat 09-Mar-13 23:11:44

Agree with the op.

life is too short to get het up about marketing opportunities really. Cba with fathers day, Valentines and mothers day is not a biggie either. Birthdays....hell yeah!

If you go to church the priorities are the bvm mother of Jesus, and mother church. Going home to visit your mother was a Victorian invention for the servants.

I've made a bit of a fuss for my mum.left her with a bottle of Baileys and a card. But I hope all this running around I'm doing for her and dad tells her I love her more then a moonpig card tbh!

I shall be getting up and ferrying a child one way and dh ferrying another another way. of rest lol

piprabbit Sat 09-Mar-13 23:12:33

I want DH to occupy my DCs for a couple of hours while I blob about in bed, have a leisurely shower and do my nails.

I can do all this on other days when everyone is out, but I do relish being alone in a house full of people. The rest of the time I am just alone alone and it is not such a nice experience.

Plus it is about time, after 9 years of fatherhood, that DH learned how to occupy 2 children for 2 hours without needing to involve his own mother.

WorraLiberty Sat 09-Mar-13 23:14:22

And before anyone kicks my soap box away can I just say this?

Considering how many posts I've seen on here about child/adult trafficking in the porn industry...I have never seen a post on Mother's Day from anyone who was upset that their flowers weren't fair trade.

Of course I might have missed the odd post but I have genuinely never seen a thread started by someone 'shaking with anger' for example, because their DH didn't give a shit about the kids/adults who are working with dangerous chemicals in fields...often against their will because they've been sold into the 'business'.

Yet I've seen countless moans and whines because the flowers weren't bought/were an afterthought/were wilted/were cheap/were the wrong kind.

<< Falls off soapbox >>

2rebecca Sat 09-Mar-13 23:14:33

I don't think it's about gifts but about kids remembering, a card (or text or phonecall if with their dad) is fine. When the kids were younger though I did expect my partner to make a bit of an effort with the kids and I didn't expect to be entertaining and cooking for other people.
It maybe depends on what you grew up with. When I was young dad made sure we'd sorted out cards for mum and made her coffee and we usually went for a walk somewhere or did something nice. It definitely wasn't a day when my mum entertained the grannies. My parents sent their mums cards and flowers but mothers day was principally about our mum.
When my kids have children I don't want them inviting me round for dinner, I'd rather they enjoyed the day with their children and my son fuss over the mother of his kids. Hopefully my mothering role won't be that essential by then.

hugoagogo Sat 09-Mar-13 23:15:11

I love mother's day.

I hate birthday and christmas, but mother's day is fab, I have it my way, which is quiet and no expectations.

I send my Mum something thoughtful and nice too.

AgentZigzag Sat 09-Mar-13 23:16:03

DH said earlier that he hopes the DDs have done something for mothers day because he hasn't grin it meant so little I'd forgotten he'd said it.

But I can imagine if you feel your DP is perhaps focused elsewhere, it could really hurt.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots Sat 09-Mar-13 23:19:39

*If your dh puts out for his own mum, then he's doing alright. That's what we like to see.
Your turn will come.*

I wish everyone a good day tomorrow. Personally, I will be getting homemade cards and breakfast in bed, then dh and I are leaving the kids with dh's aunt, and going out to pick up some craft materials and have lunch out. He will be popping round his mum's later with a gift and a posy. No hassle, no stress.

But do you not see that your DH is spending time having lunch with you, when you are advocating he should be spending time with his own mum?!? He will "pop" to his own mum later?

Double standards much?

Maryz Sat 09-Mar-13 23:23:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish Sat 09-Mar-13 23:23:49

His mum lives just around the corner and we see her a lot. She's not in tomorrow. He'll go round later when we are all back home.

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