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to be starting to dread this night out? Also advice appreciated.

(31 Posts)
CuriousMama Sat 09-Mar-13 21:30:09

I'm not normally in a quandry on how to deal with people. But this one has me a bit stumped.

Basically Dp and I have made some friends over the last few months. Some are couples some not. All get on great except for this one of the women. A lovely couple in had us over to stay and other friends stayed too. Huge house. It was a great night.

We've been invited again but this time I have a feeling that the couple with the woman are going too? The woman's dp is very good friends with the couple who's house it is. So obviously the woman or lady if you prefer, is friends too.

I've never really had a great deal to do with this woman until recently when we've had a couple of nights out and she's been there. She has been there before but I've not talked to her as much due to seating. Anyway these last few times I've realised she's hard work. She gets very drunk (nothing wrong with that, I can and do) but she then starts slagging off the dp. Bringing up allsorts. Apparently she also has numerous arguments with the host dh when she goes there? Her dp is a nice bloke they're just very different people. He's laid back she is by all accounts intense? It drives her nuts.

My dilemma is I find it hard not to point out how rude someone's being. But it's fruitless if someone's drunk plus it's not my home so then I'd be rude. The hard part is that we'd be staying over so I can't just up and leave? Also the fact that we all meet up at a place regularly as a group would mean it'd be awkward if she fell out with me.

Actually when she's sober I do like her, or what I know of her. She just can't handle booze. I get all 'love the world' she gets bitter and angry.

Dp really wants to go so it'd be hard not to. Plus last time it was great so maybe it will be again? hmm

I did think I'd just not drink much but the hosts are very generous and tend to top you up. I could feign antibiotics but can't do that every time we go?

I know I should just put up with it but it totally spoils my night when people are like this. I prefer to be with fun loving types in my old age wink

Has anyone else had similar happen?

Journey Sun 10-Mar-13 10:39:00

I don't understand why it is your problem. Just go and enjoy yourself. It is a bit strange you're worrying about it.

It sounds to me as if you're making a drama out of it just for the sake of it, which in turns makes you sound a bit controlling and odd.

AgentZigzag Sun 10-Mar-13 10:48:28

You must put up with a lot of things in RL Journey if you think dreading spending time with an over drinking, over sharing, embarrassing person on a night out is strange, controlling and odd.

I suppose it's normal behaviour for some.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 10-Mar-13 11:51:29

Why does the op sound like hard work, because she doesn't like aggressive drunks?

People who are dicks when they drink, shouldn't drink. If they do they have a problem.

Saying that she finds it difficult not to challenge her behaviour does not make her lairy.

It's a horribly uncomfortable situation to be in and maybe instead of bring so bloody judgey and aggressive you could offer some helpful conflict resolution.

Lets see op, you could try laughing loudly and chiming in, over the top of her if necessary, " we'll of course his farts smell bad, you should smell mine after eating that much beef, have you seen the price of beef, it's really gone up since all this horse meat nonsense sometimes I think for that price I'd rather eat horse!" And hope some one takes your que, repeat as necessary smile

Let me

verytellytubby Sun 10-Mar-13 11:54:20

I don't understand the problem. She may have been having a bad day when you first met her. If she does get drunk and aggressive move away. It's not like you are going out with just her. Just go with the flow.

LessMissAbs Sun 10-Mar-13 12:17:29

Surely you've had to cope with different types of people in your life before now OP? So YANBU for expecting every woman to behaved like your idealised image of a Stepford Wife.

Personally I find these couples meet up things a bit cringeworthy. I prefer a looser grouping of friends based on mutual interests and liking, not on who is with who.

But how can you be so bothered about one night out in quite a while? Fair enough if something really bad actually happens, but what a mountain out of a molehill!

wrongsideoftheroad Sun 10-Mar-13 13:15:49

I" was surrounded by racists recently when drunk (local workies club) and I suddenly blurted out 'You know who I can't stand, those bloody Catholics' Of course I don't have anything against them but it shut them up."

That's not challenging someone else's rudeness. It's sinking to their level.

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