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WIBU to say no to this dad?

(151 Posts)
TidyDancer Sat 09-Mar-13 19:06:16

This happened earlier this week, and is actually quite trivial. DP thinks I was being a bit mean, so I thought I'd throw it out there!

I was walking through my local shopping centre after work when a small child (3 or 4 at most) took a shine to my bag. In all fairness, it is a rather lovely bag. It's a pink tote bag with a penguin on it. I use it for my lunch and some odds and ends on work days.

Anyway, aforementioned small child squealed in delight at my bag and I smiled as I passed her. Next thing I knew, the father of the child was tapping me on the shoulder and asking me if his DD could have my bag! I was a bit taken aback tbh, and said that I was sorry, but no, she couldn't have it. I was perfectly nice about it, but walked away to get the car. As I was leaving, I heard the dad say to his DD "sorry darling, the mean rude lady said no". There was crying following this.

Was it really unreasonable of me to not want to give away my bag? It was not a free bag and I was quite stunned tbh.

Any opinions? smile

MrsMushroom Sat 09-Mar-13 19:20:52

Tidy if I didn't recognise your name, I'd think this was made up!

FairPhyllis Sat 09-Mar-13 19:20:53

I suppose your DP wouldn't mind then if I asked him for his wallet and phone if I bumped into him ...

expatinscotland Sat 09-Mar-13 19:21:38

And your DP thinks you should have handed it over? WTAF? Why? Show him this thread. TidyDancer's DP, this dad is a fucking knob to have asked someone for her belongings just because his child fancied it. Why should she hand over something that's hers just because someone fancied it. If some kid fancies your wallet, are you going to hand it over?

Allalonenow Sat 09-Mar-13 19:22:55

YANBU but he was being very rude.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Sat 09-Mar-13 19:23:36

What a knobber

TidyDancer Sat 09-Mar-13 19:23:47

It was something like "excuse me, could my DD have your bag?", it was pretty clear, he was actually gesturing his hands as if he was about to take it.

Perhaps he thought it was one of those cheapy shopper bags that lots of shops give out for a quid, and therefore it wouldn't matter. It was about £10 iirc and it was chosen by DS.

SauvignonBlanche Sat 09-Mar-13 19:24:27

What a weirdo! shock

MurderOfGoths Sat 09-Mar-13 19:24:58

It was totally the dad's fault for making the kid cry! If he hadn't asked then the kid wouldn't have been disappointed.

TidyDancer Sat 09-Mar-13 19:25:58

Haha, yes MrsMushroom, it's not the kind of thing you'd expect to happen I suppose!

I'm glad someone recognises me, so thank you! I could give the usual poo pouffe, pombears, shitting elf credentials though!

expatinscotland Sat 09-Mar-13 19:26:33

I'd have pushed his hands off and told him, 'Are you for real? No. Piss off now before I get security, you fecking nutter. Go buy your own bag!'

Catchingmockingbirds Sat 09-Mar-13 19:26:55

confused ofcourse you're not being unreasonable, I can't believe he just asked if you'd give your bag away.

TidyDancer Sat 09-Mar-13 19:29:04

I think DP was being a bit silly tbh really, he's very level headed but he's a soft touch with children! He's laughing about it now.

Seriously though, I always worry about children whose parents have trouble saying no to them.

DameFanny Sat 09-Mar-13 19:29:40


maddening Sat 09-Mar-13 19:30:18

Yanbu. How bizarre of him to think he was entitled to your bag.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Sat 09-Mar-13 19:31:42

[confusd] The man was loopy to even ask, never mind the comment about you being rude!

As for the tears from the child, there wouldnt have been any need for tears if he hadn't bloody asked you to give them the bag!

It sounds like a mugging through the powers of emotional blackmail!

YouTheCat Sat 09-Mar-13 19:34:24

That is going to be one very precious little princess. hmm

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Sat 09-Mar-13 19:39:26

I'm shock

That man needs to learn to say no before his child ends up an entitled, spoilt brat.

BrianButterfield Sat 09-Mar-13 19:41:22

What? No YWNU! it could have been a designer bag for all he knew. You let small children have the biscuit that comes with your coffee or any balloon you might get free, but anything bigger than that is seriously cheeky!

digerd Sat 09-Mar-13 19:41:24

My DH would never had asked you that, but he could not have said no if he'd been asked and a little girl cried. He was also a real kind hearted soul and a soft touch to those people that want to take advantage.

But a complete stranger is going too far.

Shesparkles Sat 09-Mar-13 19:41:38

I don't actually think that this is really about the child being entitled, but more abut the day's inability/ unwillingness to say no to the child.

I'd he'd said an outright "no" then in the child's eyes, he's bad daddy
Daddy asked you, so you could be the mean lady saying no, and daddy can shift the blame to you, and he remains good daddy.

I am boggling at this. There are no words. Apart from grasping, rude nobber, of course - him, not you. YWNBU.

YouTheCat Sat 09-Mar-13 19:48:04

He remains twat daddy. She may not be a princess now but she will be and it'll be daddy she's crying at how unfair it all is when he can't afford to pay for a boob job/car/flat when she is 16.

Lovelygoldboots Sat 09-Mar-13 19:49:04

I recognise you too tidy, I thought the same as mrs mushroom. Your bag does sound cool though. Like your style grin

TidyDancer Sat 09-Mar-13 19:52:19

Why thank you, Lovelygoldboots! I am exceedingly fashionable! grin

LaurieFairyCake Sat 09-Mar-13 19:53:35

Please ask Mr Tidy dancer for £1000 for me.

My Nigerian bank details to follow.

Ta muchly.

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