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I AM being unreasonable. Please come and talk me down before I go and get pregnant RIGHT NOW

(68 Posts)
designerbaby Fri 08-Mar-13 23:01:07

It's my mother in law's fault for sending me the baby bath video (another thread). And because my DD2 is about to turn three. And fecking hormones.

And I can't because we can't afford it. I run my own business and could not run it with a baby in tow, and it's just doing really well, and I'm enjoying life just as it is, and if I get a colicky non-sleeper like DD1, I will bloody DIE, and actually I nearly did die giving birth to DDs 1&2, and this is NOT rational or sensible.

I'm on a tsunami of emotion and I on't know why, so please come and talk me down before I go and jump DH RIGHT NOW.



midastouch Sat 09-Mar-13 21:30:26

Can you not find a video of childbirth just to remind you why not to do it?

GardenPath Sat 09-Mar-13 21:18:46

Hmmm, thanks for the baby-bath link though I'm not sure I was watching the same video as everyone else; mine was of someone waterboarding a new-born. Perhaps they're missing a trick at Guantanamo; if they tortured detainees to soft, gooey music they could get off the human rights rap. Just hope the kid didn't cave.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 09-Mar-13 16:23:32

To be serious for one moment-a friend of mine recently decided to stop for good at 2 kids. She is 28.
The reason; she had previously suffered 2 miscarriages, and she was concerned about the effect further miscarriages could have on her son, who is now 7.
She said she had to put the children she already has first. I think that is a really good way to think about it.
Whatever you do will have an effect on your existing children, so if a new baby is realistically going to totally decimate you, then that's not fair on them.

designerbaby Sat 09-Mar-13 14:27:56

Ok. I'm doing better today. Reasons:

The people talking about teenagers. We'd be destined to have three girls (I'm pretty sure we don't make boy-flavour babies) and the though of four hormonal women in the house... urgh.

I haven't slept for one night, which has shown me that I am too old and knackered to repeat this every night for MONTHS, which, if DD3 turned out anything like DD1 (which sods law says she would) I would be doing until she was 18 months old, before doing 3 weeks of HARDCORE sleep training which would sap any ounce of willpower and energy I had left, leaving me a hollowed-out husk as previously mentioned.

I just went shopping for childrens' shoes in Clarks on a Saturday

Now, so long as I NEVER watch that video again, I'll be fine.

For a bit anyway. Tell me this feeling passes with time?

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 09-Mar-13 11:56:57

I know Marjorie. I am just trying to make myself feel better!

Really though, I can already see than I am destined to have one extravagantly moody, Emo style teenager with strops the strength of ten teenagers.


PickledInAPearTree Sat 09-Mar-13 11:02:54

Piles. Think of the piles. Big bunch of bum grapes.

StitchAteMySleep Sat 09-Mar-13 10:58:59

Didn't do much for me either and I am broody.

Having a non-sleeping one year old is good birth control. Not sure I would be able to stop myself either if dd2 was 3 and slept like her older sister.

Unfortunately my DH is not strong and came back from work the other day telling me he had gone all gooey over a newborn.

Vomit, poo, snot, wee, they don't put me off. My only hope is to think about the stroppy teenagers.

<Recites 3 stroppy hormonal teenagers to self over and over>

monkeysbignuts Sat 09-Mar-13 10:53:29

Don't do it. My 3rd is that colicky none sleeper you are talking about! He was that bad I got pnd from sheer exhaustion. Don't get me wrong I love him to bits and wouldn't be without him now but my life went from easy with 2 to hard work again

blonderedhead Sat 09-Mar-13 10:50:35

That video cracks me right up.

Kind of have the urge to do a remake with my squalling 4mo DS whose looks at us like we are torturing him when we try to give him lovely relaxing baths and massages. And those are the good ones - mostly he screams the house down (yes, we do check the temperature first). That'd put you off though of course he is so wonderfully delicious and perfect it might not.

Fatherfluffybottom Sat 09-Mar-13 10:47:49

Just watched it. Did nothing for me. I'm free, FREE I tell you!!! (Which is a good job as DH has had a vasectomy!)

MarjorieAntrobus Sat 09-Mar-13 10:43:50

Yep, just watched most of the baby bath video. Is just a lovely newborn enjoying a bath. Lovely.

And ifnot I now have the four teenager/student thing. Is very costly. Very. But was v cool when they all played out, and all played together.

Oh, and to Fellnell, you are SO NOT a husk. Or, if you are, then I am too, and I deny it.

MrsDeVere Sat 09-Mar-13 10:33:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trills Sat 09-Mar-13 10:31:10

It's a slow motion video of a baby in a sink full of water. With annoying music.


IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 09-Mar-13 10:25:55

Actually, I think given the choice, I would have had 3. But with quite big gaps!

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 09-Mar-13 10:24:58

I heart gardenpath's post.

I know a few people who are very smugly about how lovely it is to have 3, or 4, little children all close in age. How lovely that they can all play together.
I just think...four teenagers. Bwahahahaha.

<Bitter and twisted cos I can't having more than one, and am NOT watching that baby bath vid, no way no how>

MummytoMog Sat 09-Mar-13 10:19:28

I can't see that link, thank The Lord. And thank my coil which requires actual planning to circumvent. I am barely hanging on by the skin of my teeth with two. Maybe in five years. or on my special iPad TTC note, in about six months

TolliverGroat Sat 09-Mar-13 09:59:09

(Still, I am not watching the baby bath video. Just in case...)

TolliverGroat Sat 09-Mar-13 09:58:50

Do you actually want another child -- do you feel that there's a person missing in your family? Or do you want another baby because they are cute and snuggly and newborns do that adorable whuffly thing with their mouths and they have tiny curled-up fists and so forth? You'll get over the baby thing easily enough (although probably drift in and out of broodiness over the years) but the former is a harder itch to scratch.

FellNel Sat 09-Mar-13 09:50:08

GardenPath has just articulated perfectly the things going on in my head for the last two years of my life.

Enjoy your delicious babies while they are little and lovely, and think you are the best human being on the planet, even if you don't get any sleep/sex/social life for the next five years, because it sure as hell ain't getting any easier as they get older. Sometimes I feel like a chewed up, spat out, invisible, redundant husk of a person who has spent the last 20 years giving my all to a job which I am frequently told I have been crap at.

Ok, it's not always that bad. Sometimes (often) it can still be wonderful. But I yearn for the days when they never had that look of dismissive contempt or impatient irritation in their eyes.

GlaikitFizzog Sat 09-Mar-13 08:59:02

Oh man! Why, why did I click?? Ds has just hit terrible twos, I want my baby back. Bath times not are more like the sinking of the titanic, not calm relaxing and peaceful.

whattodoo Sat 09-Mar-13 08:45:31

Seriously. Seriously.

Why did I click on the link?

I can feel my heart has swollen to the size of a spacehopper with yearning.

But my dumb body is as useless as a space hopper at conceiving.

Best just enjoy the delightful 5yo I've already got and be grateful.


Sparklingbrook Sat 09-Mar-13 08:31:55

I have got to go and stand in the freezing cold watching junior footy this morning. I then have to bring two muddy boys and their kits home and clean them.

They don't tell you that at ante natal.

Oh and Year 9 maths homework. If I had known about that......

designerbaby Sat 09-Mar-13 08:30:31

Ah, fuckit.

baby bath


designerbaby Sat 09-Mar-13 08:27:28

Garden path, that was magnificent... I should mentally fast-forward 10 - 15 years every time those hormones kick in.

Also thankfully DD2, the generally wonderfully sleeping DD2 decided to be awake with night terrors and general monkey business for most of last night, as if giving me a warning: "I KNOW I gave you an easy time, that first year, Mummy, but oh, how quickly you forget the lack of sleep by my big sister. Here, have a little reminder <shrieeeeeeeeeek> <wail> <thrash>."

I can't post a link to the video, because then I'll watch it again, and all DD2s hard work will have been in vain...

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Sat 09-Mar-13 08:25:27

I'm in the same boat as you DB. DD is nearly 5, DS is nearly 3. Everyone around me, including a friend who has two DC's the same ages as mine and my DSis are all expecting in the next few months. Also I'm 35 and thinking if I'm going to have another it should really be now before it's too late.

I don't want a third for all the practical reasons everyone's set out. Plus I worry that with three, one is always likely to be left out all the time. BUT, but, but why do I spend everyday wondering whether I should have another.... The baby bath video did NOT help grin

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