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This generation will never know the joy of being married 50 years how sad.

(75 Posts)
500DaysofSeasons Fri 08-Mar-13 19:17:41

Aibu to think this comment is smug and sad?

(A comment on YouTube that got 107 likes) (YouTube of all the things to get offended by grin )

Years ago divorce was not a common thing and viewed as very scandalous - especially for women.
Men and women had very defined role - the man went out to work to earn the money and the woman stayed at home and did housekeeping and raised the children.
People also got married very young.
So yes lots of people celebrated 50 years of marriage.

I prefer to live in this day and age, where a woman had more than being married and having children as a goal in life and would stay in an unhappy marriage purely because of how society would judge her if she got divorced.

Aibu to not agree with the above comment?

Bunbaker Mon 11-Mar-13 19:12:58

"Heteromonogamy's just another hobby. really. If you like it and you're good at it, go ahead, enjoy, knock yourself out. I'm about as interested in that as I would be in your best ever score at tiddlywinks."


SolidGoldBrass Sun 10-Mar-13 21:53:54

Heteromonogamy's just another hobby. really. If you like it and you're good at it, go ahead, enjoy, knock yourself out. I'm about as interested in that as I would be in your best ever score at tiddlywinks.

motherinferior Sun 10-Mar-13 21:20:02

And the thing that riles me is that we are sold this 50 years model not simply as the ideal, but as something that if we don't achieve we have somehow failed.

motherinferior Sun 10-Mar-13 20:34:39

I'm in a long term relationship. One of a number I have sustained over the years. grin

PinkBottleGreenBottle Sun 10-Mar-13 18:35:04

Eh? I haven't seen any disparaging remarks about long-term couples in a happy marriage.

Bunbaker Sun 10-Mar-13 12:54:25

But it floats my boat. I wish people who don't want or enjoy long term relationships didn't make disparaging remarks about those of us lucky enough to have a lifelong partner that they don't wish to part ex for a different model.

There is a lot of nastiness about or is it jealousy?

motherinferior Sun 10-Mar-13 12:37:22

Does it really matter? I think of my parents whose marriage has lasted more than 50 years and I shudder to think how little I would want a partnership like theirs. Why on earth should we fetishise this idea of long-term coupledom, not least because it clearly doesn't work for many people (they have sex with other people, they split up or they are simply mismatched and unhappy for decades). If 50 years of marriage floats your boat, fine for you. But, you know, it's not everyone's boat.

Jelly15 Sun 10-Mar-13 11:11:22

I will be 69 when my DH and I celebrate our golden wedding anniversary and he will be 72. It is our silver next year and, other than death, fully expect to reach it. Both sets of my grandparents reached their 50th and my parents will next year. Out of those four marriages I think two have stayed to gether because it was expected and the done thing, mine not being one of them.

MammaTJ Sun 10-Mar-13 11:00:23

As someone twice divorced, the first time my H used to enjoy hitting me and trying to control me, the second was a cheating bastard, I could not agree more. I would much rather be living with my DP than still be married to either of those men and 'celebrating' 50 years of marriage someday.

bangwhizz Sun 10-Mar-13 10:45:09

Lots of marriages do last

CardinalRichelieu Sat 09-Mar-13 23:35:36

Your first mistake was reading the comments of Youtube videos. I often have trouble imagining that the people who write some of them actually exist, and presumably get through their day to day lives.

Happymum22 Sat 09-Mar-13 23:34:33

I think it is really lovely when you see a couple who are just wonderful together and even through petty arguments you can see they are still very much in love. Unfortunately it isn't that often, but when you do see it, it is lovely and heart-warming.
The reality is most couples (I think 2/3 of kids have divorced parents now) don't stick it out, probably because of all the pressures on us- good and bad.
Lots used to stay in awful relationships with abuse or just no love purely because divorce, to them, just wasn't an option. We probably still celebrate the same number of HAPPY, 100% HONESTLY WONDERFUL LOVE FILLED marriages (of course with the odd blip along the way), we just used to also celebrate abuse filled horrific marriages.

My grandparents were incredible, the love they had for each other was just so heart warming and touching. Most of all was the care, they just were always looking after each other. They had the worst bickers about the silliest things, and then an hour later would be strolling down the road hand in hand. When things got really tough, they pulled together. They are the biggest role model and, to me, example of a marriage to be celebrated.

Booyhoo Sat 09-Mar-13 23:19:47

it is entirely possible. this thread managed it before you arrived with whatever your agenda is. this thread is about some people saying it was sad that (in their own opinions) people of this (which?) generation wouldn't experience a 50 year marriage, they didn't say, it's sad because teh chidlren will suffer. tehy just said it was sad. no children were mentioned. children are not the topic in question. length of marriage is. regardless of whether children were present or not. the topic of whether children fare better or not when their parents are married (to each other?) is a whole other thread and not relevant to this one.

chandellina Sat 09-Mar-13 23:02:32

"no one mentioned children"

How ridiculous, it's impossible to talk about marriage without talking about children. Even in the relatively rare case where there aren't any, the lack of is a part of the relationship too.

LunaticFringe Sat 09-Mar-13 19:36:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBigJessie Sat 09-Mar-13 18:21:10

Oh, hang on, I see what you mean, LunaticFringe. That's a copy and paste typo. I started a new post, and didn't back-space everything. That's incredibly humiliating. It's supposed to say "50 more years" not "until I'm 60".

<Commits Hara-kiri>

TheBigJessie Sat 09-Mar-13 18:13:21

No, 20 grin but I'm assuming pension age is going to be 70 for my generation. At least.

If I just count from our actual start of relationship anniversary (instead of the piece of paper that we always have to look up the date of) we're already on ten years. You-tube commentator would faint!

anewyear Sat 09-Mar-13 17:19:55

Its my parents 50th wedding anniversary at the end of this month.
DH and I have been together 21 years in April.
My sister and brother in law have been together 26 yrs this year.
Just sayin..

RedToothBrush Sat 09-Mar-13 17:04:57

I think it said in the newspaper this week that the average marriage lasts 12 years

If the average marriage only lasts 12 years, then I would say its people who marry twice, three times or more who ruin the stats...

Given the average person has less than one breast and less than one testicle, I won't be loosing sleep over it or thinking I've only got X amount of years of marriage left.

PinkBottleGreenBottle Sat 09-Mar-13 15:30:59

What utter nonsense.

There's nothing to say that many of us won't be married for 50 years. And of the ones who won't, I expect that much of that will be through choice. Not pressure of society, not financial constraints, but choice in the way they want to live their lives.

If the people "liking" that status want to get sad about something, perhaps they should be sadder for previous generations who didn't know the joy of being married 50 years because so many young men were killed in world wars.

LunaticFringe Sat 09-Mar-13 15:24:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheBigJessie Sat 09-Mar-13 15:21:10

I see no reason why my marriage shouldn't last until I'm 60... Either the author is making a judgmental assumption, or they know I'm going to die before I get to pensionable age. Probably the first one.

Meanwhile I'm sad so many people have never known the joys of maths, or even the simple pleasure of mental arithmetic without rote-learning times tables. grin

So many wonderful things in life, aren't there?

Booyhoo Sat 09-Mar-13 10:52:06

oops. that was a grin for the youtube comments link.

Booyhoo Sat 09-Mar-13 10:50:21


SolidGoldBrass Sat 09-Mar-13 10:50:05

There are lots of things that some people will never know the 'joy' of, because there is not enough room in any human life to cram in every conceivable experience. Some will never know the joy of group sex, others will miss out on the delightful sense of achievement that you get from composing a symphony. It's probably nice enough to have a happy marriage that lasts a long time, but it's not exactly achieving the cure for cancer, is it?

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