To think I am going to have to divorce my husband aren't I. He has AWFUL taste.

[AngryFeet]

We are in the process of buying our first house having lived together in rented for the 12 years we have been together. I love DH very much but sadly we are incompatible.... in the decorating sense that is. I suppose I have always known deep down. He was gazing lustfully at a white leather L shaped sofa a few years ago in DFS. I managed to steer him away towards a nice brown twill number from Next.

But now we are going through ideas of how to decorate the new house. He has bought some prints in America of random things like piano keys and blossom covered trees that he thinks we can hang up on the wall up the stairs. He also wants glass shelves for our books that are underlit with lights that change colour.

He is leather, glass and metal - I am fabric and wood. Can we ever make this work? :(

[cozietoesie]

Allocate him a 'den' to splurge all over. Do the rest of the place as you want it.

[SirBoobAlot]

Leave the bastard!

[TheChaoGoesMu]

You need to compromise in the name of love

[AngryFeet]

A bit frightened by this splurging den idea. Does it has something to do with porn?

There is a brick built workshop in the garden that he is already calling the Man Cave. Maybe he could just live in there?

[Hassled]

I had this with DH. I broke him in the end - don't worry, it can be done.

You need to start a campaign of subtle, insiduous and relentless put-downs about all of the things he likes, until eventually you reach the point where he doubts his taste in anything and knows he needs to defer to you. It sounds harsh and cruel, but it's the only way.

[pictish]

Oh dear.
Glass shelves. With coloured lights. My my.

Congrats on the new home though!

[Lueji]

LTB. :)

Can you do wood and glass, for example?
Or do one room more your style and another his?

Or mix and match.

For example I have two lovely old fashioned Persian rugs in a minimalist type living room.
Ex didn't like them, but I think they add warmth and colour to the room.

Or have a nice throw over the white leather sofa?

And veto changing lights.
And he vetoes those frilly pillows you never really wanted to buy.

[pictish]

hassled
Sage advice.

[ChaoticisasChaoticdoes]

Buy him a shed. Put it at the bottom of the garden and create a very intricate maze between the shed and the house. By the time he's found his way back to the house you'll have decorated it as you want it and it would be a waste of money to do it again when you don't need to.

[Cherriesarelovely]

don't worry OP, that is exactly what my DP (female) was like when she moved in with me some 7 years ago. Luckily she was working from home so made our box room into a little office and that is where the ceramic meerkats, plastic moles in Formula 1 outfits and airbrushed portrait of Ayrton Senna now resides!!!!!

[Hassled]

plastic moles in Formula 1 outfits :o :o

[Cherriesarelovely]

I know!!!!! I feel like posting a pic!

[sicutlilium]

I recommend that you both take a course of instruction and convert to the shabby-chic-threadbare-rug-loose-cover-Liberty-Oriental-Basement look. The dirt doesn't show and you will save a fortune, which will be handy on both counts if you have children.
In Lilium Towers we still have 16 cartons of books unpacked from when we moved (in north London, natch) 13 years ago.

[cozietoesie]

Yep. The Man Cave sounds like your best bet. Every time he mentions eg fluorescent strips under the sofa, just say 'For the Man Cave.'

If you're lucky, he'll spend most of his free time there.

[NumericalMum]

Oooh I have a suggestion!! What I had to do was show my Dh photos from magazines of how lovely my ideas were and how shite his were and in the end he agreed with me every time!!

[AngryFeet]

Oh we have children already. Dirty little buggers, I dont know why we are bothering to decorate the place at all. Maybe DH AND the DC can live in the Man Cave and I can have the house exactly how I like it AND noone will mess it up.

DH likes Formula 1 actually Cherries. Not sure even his taste could sink that low however

[Magrathea]

Ahhh OP, there are two things you need here, "the look" and "the list".

The Look is what you do when he runs eagerly up to anything he likes in a furniture or decorating store. It differs between women but mine is one raise eyebrow and pulling mouth to one side whilst making a disapproving mmmm noise. This technique will take time to train into him but it helps if you have a treat in mind for distraction - pub generally works.

The List is again a distraction technique and the thing which has been bred into the DNA of women since we wandered the plains of Africa. When he starts to get ideas on decor or, anything really, be ready with "The List" of jobs which need doing around the house and distract with that, by the time he has finished the allocated task he will have forgotten all about the decorating. Of course "The List" never gets any smaller, if you need advice on compiling one, ask any woman who's husband has recently, or is about to retire for advice.

[OrangeLily]

Plastic meerkats.... In formulae one outfits.... What?!?! Or was it moles? Either way please explain.

Do what I do on occasion, "Hahahhaha very funny, I know you wouldn't seriously make me have those hideous hahahahaha"

Then looked shocked when he insists he's not taking the piss.

[cozietoesie]

Fair points. And a new house? Must be loads of preparatory works to do before decorating. Plastering, electrics yadda yadda.

[motherinferior]

I second the sicutlilium approach. The Inferiority Complex differs only in being in sarf London.

[Grumpla]

I want a plastic mole in a Formula 1 outfit!!!!

[sicutlilium]

motherinferior some of my best shabby-chic-threadbare-rug-loose-cover-Liberty-Oriental-Basement friends are in sarf London.

[5Foot5]

Well having the shite pictures up the stairs isn't such a bad idea as you will only have to see them in passing - much worse if they were hung in the living room and you had to look at them all the time.

But glass book shelves with colour changing lights? Is he serious?

[steppemum]

I have 2 beautiful pictures that I want in our living room. We have had them since first married. Dh hated them then. We lived overseas for 10 years, came back and I unpacked them from my mums attic, I showed them to dh and he thought they were alright and he could live with them.

It has taken nearly 14 years of marriage, but his taste is slowly turning

[steppemum]

Show him some truly hideous designs that you know he will hate. Then after a couple of weeks show him the things you really like. He will be so relieved he will say yes!