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AIBU?

To get frustrated with people asking for help, you offer help then they ignore you?

8 replies

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy · 06/03/2013 16:17

Is it because they dont have a back bone and wont help themselves?

Because they like to play the victim?

Because the situation is possibly exagerated or partly bullshit?

Its not a thread about one particular thread, because it happens all the time.

The OP comes on with a big long thread saying she's having major problems with A, B and now she has C to contend with.

What follows is 60-70 + replies of support but also suggestions of X, Y, or even Z.

Then nothing. Yada. Fuck all. Thread falls off the page.

So why did people waste their time trying to help just for the OP to disappear?

Its ignorant and annoying.

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JamieandtheMagicTorch · 06/03/2013 16:26

It is annoying. Sometimes it is because the OP was a troll.

but sometimes it's because they are not ready to hear waht people have to say. Maybe no-one in RL has ever confronted them in the same way, and let's face it, sometimes they do get replies which tip over into rudeness.

But just because someone doesn't come back and say yes yes, i agree and i'm going to do exactly as you suggest, doesn't mean you haven't planted a seed for them to think about.

It is annoying when an OP posts about the same issue over and over again but doesn't really respond to those who are trying to help.

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WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy · 06/03/2013 16:33

But when you get someone who appears not to realise what help is out there for them, and you list ways and means of them getting help then they stop replying (or worse, reply, completely ignoing your post) thats not the reply being rude, thats the OP being down right ignorant.

Its fucking annoying but Im annoyed with myself for getting sucked in.

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JamieandtheMagicTorch · 06/03/2013 16:36

Yes, I know. It is really rude to notmacknowledge the onfo have given and the time spent. There was a thread recently where i was left feeling miffed and also worried.

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WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy · 06/03/2013 16:46

Exactly, even through the frustration you're wondering what if it was real? It is worrying.

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HecateWhoopass · 06/03/2013 17:07

You have to be able to give what you can and expect nothing.

Or give only what you are willing to lose.

I dunno. something like that There will be some sort of saying to cover it.

Also, just because someone doesn't come back to confirm that they have found the info useful, doesn't mean they didn't. And it doesn't mean that lots of people who read the thread didn't also find it useful. Some people may be so wrapped up in their situation that they can't look outside it to consider the faceless internet dwelling critters who took time to try to help. So they take and walk away. They're not, at that point, in a place where they can really think about others. We've all been there. So absorbed in our drama that we're not really ourselves.

And giving advice doesn't obligate the other person to take it. I offer advice knowing that they may well decide I'm talking out of my arse and my advice is shit. We have to be ok with that.

So. Just chuck it out there. hope it's useful.

And at the risk of sounding utterly heartless - At the end of the day, they're not your responsibility. You have to be able to disengage. If you can't then you'll end up whittling yourself daft over people you don't know and can't help.