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To only buy one present

(65 Posts)
theweeyin Tue 05-Mar-13 18:04:16

My friend has two children. The eldest is going to be 8 tomorrow and I'm going to pop round with her present & card tomorrow. My friend phoned me about an hour ago asking if i could also bring round a present for her youngest so she doesn't feel left out. I told her that I wouldn't as it's her birthday in April & I will give her a present then. Surely if my friend doesn't want her child to feel 'left out' it's up to her to do something about it? AIBU if I only buy a birthday present for the birthday girl?

CatelynStark Tue 05-Mar-13 18:05:31

Your friend is being ridiculous! And grabby. And a twat.

HTH smile

YouTheCat Tue 05-Mar-13 18:06:12

What the hell is going on with all these poor cherubs feeling left out because another sibling has a birthday?

Birthday present for the one having the birthday. If the other kid feels disappointed then that's just bloody tough and probably because the parents are clueless.

pictish Tue 05-Mar-13 18:06:36

Yanbu. Silly friend.

Hulababy Tue 05-Mar-13 18:07:06

Yanbu. I wouldn't either.

HecateWhoopass Tue 05-Mar-13 18:07:16

Not at all.

It is ridiculous. Children have to learn that other people have birthdays! and there's not always something for them.

So she doesn't feel left out. Heaven's above. It's someone else's birthday!

Shutupanddrive Tue 05-Mar-13 18:07:37

How rude! shock

Cassarick Tue 05-Mar-13 18:07:59

I wouldn't either. Why should you have to double-up on presents? Ridiculous.

littlemefi Tue 05-Mar-13 18:08:04

How cheeky! YANBU, whatever age the child is, they have to learn that birthdays are about the person whose birthday it is.

If your friend chooses to buy something for the little one, that's her responsibility, not yours!

SecretNutellaFix Tue 05-Mar-13 18:09:06

That is really rude.

HildaOgden Tue 05-Mar-13 18:09:51

Stick to your guns and don't do it.

Are you expected to do the same again in April when the next birthday comes? ie buy the 'unbirthday' girl a present then too?

Silly woman (her,not you).How is it a special day for the birthday girl if she isn't the one who gets the pressie/attention?

What did your friend say when you said you wouldn't do it?

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged Tue 05-Mar-13 18:09:56


I always send a gift for older siblings when a new baby is born because I worry they will feel pushed out by the new arrival, but for a birthday for older children? Not a chance!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel Tue 05-Mar-13 18:14:00

Tell her that you will but its not your birthday either so can she buy you a present too, then send her an amazon wish list of very expensive items to choose your unbirthday present from. grin

theweeyin Tue 05-Mar-13 18:14:34

hilda My friend told me she thought i was being quite mean. I told her that when i was young and it was my brothers birthday I never got presents. She then said well it's up to you.

BlueberryHill Tue 05-Mar-13 18:15:16

YANBU, I thought this was a twins thread before I read the OP. Agree with everyone else, how stupid is your friend? (sorry to be a bit rude there)

HecateWhoopass Tue 05-Mar-13 18:16:05

You're not mean, she's being silly.

BlueberryHill Tue 05-Mar-13 18:16:23

Actually after the last post, I think she is really stupid and very rude.

mammmamia Tue 05-Mar-13 18:18:30

I thought this was a twins thread too! And was coming on to say I wouldn't mind if people brought my 3yo twins only one present on their birthday. They have too much stuff and its good for them to learn to share.

HildaOgden Tue 05-Mar-13 18:19:12

She sounds ridiculous and petulant.And she's going the right way about training her dd's to be the same!!

Does she give your children presents when it's their siblings birthdays?Not that it matters if she does,that's her choice.....but telling people to buy for the second child too is totally crackers.

To be honest,I'd find it difficult to show up at all with any present at all if I was told I was being mean like that.

MrsSpagBol Tue 05-Mar-13 18:22:04

What hilda said!!

theweeyin Tue 05-Mar-13 18:22:06

Thanks everyone. I didn't think I was BU but wanted to get other peoples opinion on this.

RobotHamster Tue 05-Mar-13 18:22:29

My mum used to do this for my younger siblings on my birthday, so they wouldn't feel left out,it was crap and pointless and made them both think they were entitled to help themselves to my things so they didn't miss out

I got nothing when it was their birthday though because I was the eldest and should 'set a good example'

MrsSonky Tue 05-Mar-13 18:26:20

I'm having an Alice in Wonderland moment.

"a very happy unbirthday to you"
"to me?"
"to you"

KC225 Tue 05-Mar-13 18:26:29

Same as mammamia - I have twins and came on to say joint present is fine and much appreciated.

I was not expecting bring another present ...... YANBU go with one present and say breathlessly 'didn't have time to get another present' - what a cheek

EarlyInTheMorning Tue 05-Mar-13 18:28:26

That's rude, vulgar, ridiculous, she's being a bad friend and a bad parent

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