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To think it's really quite odd when grown women talk about 'besties'?

(71 Posts)
HerLordship Tue 05-Mar-13 08:09:38

Have n/c for this but I am a regular

I've known a friend for a couple of years. I like her and enjoy her company and think we are generally pretty close. Our DCs get on well. We are both 36.

However, she has 2 best friends, whom she calls her 'besties', and she talks about them all the time. She'll say things like 'I'm going to Frankie and Bennys on Saturday with X and Y, obviously it's just the three of us though as we're all besties, so you wouldn't be able to come'. And whenever we chat she mentions both of them, and says 'My bestie, X' or 'My bestie, Y' whenever she mentions them. I'm never allowed to go to any event or meet up where both 'besties' will be. She once invited me round for lunch to hers but then cancelled on the day as the 'besties' asked her out to lunch elsewhere, and she has said they get priority.

On Facebook if the two besties reply to her status she always says things like 'Thank you my wonderful bestie', or if she has met them both then her statuses say about 'meeting up with the besties'

It's fair enough that she has these best friends, and makes it plain to me I'm not a best friend. However am I alone in thinking it's rather odd for women in their thirties to still be calling their best friends 'besties' and for being so possessive over them. Even my teenage daughter and her friends don't behave in that manner!

member Tue 05-Mar-13 13:29:40

I do tink referring to bestie is silly but could probably overlook it if she sounded nice/giving in other respects.

She sounds horribly like the woman I referred to in my earlier post who has been known to delete supposed friends out of her life as casually as if they were merely an online acquaintance. She's already putting you down, ditch her - she's trouble/hurt in waiting.

wineandroses Tue 05-Mar-13 13:42:10

Are you sure these 'besties' actually exist? Maybe she has more than one facebook account and sends replies from 'besties' to herself? Have you or anyone you know ever met them?

Anyway, regardless of that, can I ask, like a number of other posters, why you allow this person to treat you in this way? This is like a horrible flash-back to the spiteful school girls who bully others by excluding them and making sure they know they're not worthy of being part of the 'in-crowd'. She is not your friend. Dump her.

bootsycollins Tue 05-Mar-13 16:45:54

I'm not entirely convinced that these besties are real either

pigletmania Tue 05-Mar-13 17:21:57

Bloody hell she sounds like she is 10 tbh, very immature. Letting you down like that in favour of someone else is rude and unacceptable and basically would be a deal breaker in a friendship for me. Btw I hate that term used by adults sets my teeth itching

fromparistoberlin Tue 05-Mar-13 17:28:42



its not nice behaviour, making you feel second best

fuck er

Chandon Tue 05-Mar-13 17:37:10

I know a fiend who goes on about her bestie mate, but somehow I just don't mind.

Your friend sounds mildly deranged though, tbh, count yourself lucky!

Guntie Tue 05-Mar-13 17:41:43

What on earth?! It sounds like this woman has a clinical condition of some sorts...

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 05-Mar-13 17:44:35

I call my best friend of 25 years my bestie, but no all the time and i dont rave about her, and we certainly dont give each other priority over other friends, thats rude.

TBH, she sounds a bit possessive of the "besties", since you havent met them, it sounds like shes scared you'll became a "bestie" too, and take attention away from her.

GetOrf Tue 05-Mar-13 17:49:03

She sounds tiresome.

I had no idea (and found out recently) that BFF stands for best friend forever (foreva). I thought it stood for best female friend. Why the hell do people use the BFF term when they're not 11 year olds. Morons.

Moominsarescary Tue 05-Mar-13 18:04:37

She sounds a bit of a twat

CocacolaMum Tue 05-Mar-13 18:07:13

"... obviously it's just the three of us though as we're all besties, so you wouldn't be able to come'."
Dear god that reads like she's five years old!

"I'm never allowed to go to any event or meet up where both 'besties' will be. She once invited me round for lunch to hers but then cancelled on the day as the 'besties' asked her out to lunch elsewhere, and she has said they get priority."
She is not odd. She is plain fucking RUDE. I could not be friends with this woman, and I would most certainly have torn a strip off her for cancelling.


CocacolaMum Tue 05-Mar-13 18:08:08

Oh also. Feel friend to befriend these besties.. bet in RL they cannot frikkin stand her anyway

Bartlebee Tue 05-Mar-13 18:11:00

LTNB! (Leave the not bestie)

She sounds a bit of a twit, and manipulative too. I'd be quite glad not to be her bosom buddie tbh.

froggies Tue 05-Mar-13 18:18:32

She sounds a bit wierd, and not worth the effort tbh.

I have 3 very close friends that I have known for 20 years, i met them all in different ways, but they now all know each other as well. I do refer to each of them as best friends occasionally even though I am nearly 40, but not besties, and I would much rather include other friends when they visit as I feel the more friends every one has, the better.

I am really looking forward to my birthday, because they are all coming to visit and I can introduce them to all of my friends from here.

whiteandyellowiris Tue 05-Mar-13 18:28:42

i wouldn't want to spend time with someone like that

GregBishopsBottomBitch Tue 05-Mar-13 18:30:47

It really does sound like shes possessive over these friends, i knew someone who was like that, lets just say she aint a friend now.

digerd Tue 05-Mar-13 19:04:46

That is so humiliating and hurtful to be told you are not important enough to her to be in her clique. And that added ' of course', meaning you understand how it is and accept it that you are not good enough !!.? That is horrid.

Drop her and get your own genuine friends who value your friendship and don't put you down.

Closest friend usually means best friend.

mylittlepuds Tue 05-Mar-13 19:08:08

Jesus. Ditch her quick. I'd be embarrassed to be friends with someone who carried on in this way.

Catsnotrats Tue 05-Mar-13 19:10:31

Is she channeling Amy Farah Fowler?

BreasticlesNotTesticles Tue 05-Mar-13 19:47:47

What a weirdo.

Surely you have bezzie mates not besties? wink

I have 2 friends who I am probably closest to, but say 5 who I would say are my closest friends.

If I called any one of them a bestie they would rightly dump me.

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy Tue 05-Mar-13 20:05:48

Presumably she has redeaming qualities for you to be spending time with her?
I would love to know what they are because sounds like a moron.

Theres nothing wrong with having best friends. I have a best friend, he is just as much my best friend as he was when I was 17. And he will be when Im 50.

However, I do not refer to him as my 'bestie'. Nor do I bail in people and tell them they are not welcome because he takes priority, for every reason everyones already mentioned, shes a childish plank.

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