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To NOT buy this toy for ds because it is a girl's toy?

(110 Posts)
Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 17:42:56

Ds is just over three and a half. He has a chart for good behaviour and a few small chores. Once his chart is full every month or so he gets to choose a little prize for around ten pounds. Since he started the chart a few weeks back the thing he has wanted is the my little pony train. And at the moment it is on offer massively reduced on amazon.
He likes trains. He likes ponies. In his mind it seems a good plan. However I am not so keen. Not because it is a "girls'" toy really (we have many toys that could be considered traditionally a girls' toy) and I firmly believe that children should be able to play with what interests them. Usually.
I'm just a bit concerned he may be laughed at by other boys. Ds has stayed home with me and only has a couple of sessions at nursery a week. Consequently he is less streetwise than many of the other children. I suppose when we have playdates I could put it away, but I can see him being so pleased with it that he tells everyone at nursery.

He is already a bit the odd one out because he is quite sensitive and quiet. I don't want to give them any other reason to consider him different. Sad that I have to think this I suppose.

Wibu to not get him this?

VeremyJyle Mon 04-Mar-13 17:46:30

Really? hmmconfused

PirateHat Mon 04-Mar-13 17:46:39

He's 3 and a half! I think you are overthinking this.

If he gets to choose a toy, he gets to choose surely?

eavesdropping Mon 04-Mar-13 17:46:59

YABU. Let him have the toy he wants ffs

HoHoHoNoYouDont Mon 04-Mar-13 17:47:07

YABU - you should let him have it and you should keep it out in full view when other kids come over for playdates.

I'm sure there will be parents along shortly who tell you their little boys play with dolls, dress up etc., all usually associated with girls.

I hate this conditioning of children.

Madlizzy Mon 04-Mar-13 17:48:03

Oh FGS, just buy it for him. He's 3 years old and wants something that's asked for.

BramblyHedge Mon 04-Mar-13 17:48:09

I don't think 3 year olds would be likely to tease. I think they just see toys! My 4 and 7 year old boys play with dd (2) toys and haven't labelled them as being for girls. Maybe later it is more of an issue. My 7 year old loves teddies and wanted a honeybake oven for his birthday (not getting). He also plays skylanders and batman. Nobody teases him.

Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 17:48:19

I suppose it's because I've witnessed some if the other boys at preschool being mean to him.
I just can't stand the thought of other children laughing at him when he's so little and he doesn't understand why they pick him out as different.

BramblyHedge Mon 04-Mar-13 17:48:22


Binkyridesagain Mon 04-Mar-13 17:48:58

Confused about a streetwise 3 year old, could you explain it to me?

FiveGoMadInDorset Mon 04-Mar-13 17:49:01

DS favourite toy was a doll and a pink pram. definitely didn't get picked on. You are overthinking this. He has also spent the week with friends daughters and happily played with their toys.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Mon 04-Mar-13 17:49:16

If other boys are being mean to him then you need to teach him how to deal with it, not how to avoid it ( by not playing with toys they wouldn't approve of).

EstoyAqui Mon 04-Mar-13 17:49:20


akaemmafrost Mon 04-Mar-13 17:50:39


TheElephantIsADaintyBird Mon 04-Mar-13 17:50:56

I can see why you would be hesitant if you've seen other kids getting bullied, but it is just a toy. Get him it if he likes it.
I had action men as a kid, my friends mocked me at first but then they all wanted to play with them!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Mon 04-Mar-13 17:51:08

I think you're over-estimating how streetwise the other nursery kids are compared to your DS. They are all very young and wouldn't pick up on a toy being mainly for girls at all at that age. My DD's reception friends are not really aware of it either.

coldcupoftea Mon 04-Mar-13 17:51:16

He is 3- it will be fine. I don't think 3 year olds really 'tease' anyway, not in the malicious way you are thinking. Let him have what he wants!

plantsitter Mon 04-Mar-13 17:51:33

The mean boys are WRONG. He needs the confidence to know that and be himself rather than bend himself to what they deem appropriate.

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Mon 04-Mar-13 17:52:07

YABU. And a bit hysterical.

Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 17:52:18

I suppose by streetwise I mean more grown up. Less naive.
Maybe they just seem that way to me.

notapizzaeater Mon 04-Mar-13 17:52:22

He will love it (I bought my 4 yr ds a Barbie and Barbie pony as her was desperate for it)

Trills Mon 04-Mar-13 17:53:16


Whatsdoneisdoneisdone Mon 04-Mar-13 17:53:47

I don't think I'm hysterical. In not suggesting it would ruin his life or anything!
Some of the children at ds's preschool nursery are capable of being mean with intent. I've heard them!

Fanjounchained Mon 04-Mar-13 17:54:38

Oh of course YANBU, get him an action man and a gun or a sword. Also a couple of tattoos to make sure he looks really hard and masculine....[hmmm]

He's 3 and a half. If the arrangement was HE gets to pick a toy for good behaviour then that should be what happens. Right now I think it's more important that he sees his mum keeps her promises. And I understand that you're worried about him being sensitive. My DS is like this (he's just turned 5) and wouldn't say boo to a goose whereas my 3yr old DD would take on anybody anytime. That's there personalities and you can't really stamp all over it or try to change it.

CockyFox Mon 04-Mar-13 17:54:56

YABU. He is 3 for goodness sake if he wants to play with a pony train let him. My children all play with each others toys and my 6 year old would be most put out if I stopped him playing woth girls toys.

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