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how to address this

(41 Posts)
threerings Mon 04-Mar-13 12:09:48

I attended dc parents evening last week to be told that dc is not focusing in class. At the last parents evening in January I was told that dc is under acheiving. It seems to me that dc is just coasting along with no real support from the school in allowing dc to continue this way. I give dc support at home in school work. AIBU in thinking that the school is letting dc down. They don,t seem to grasp the fact that there is a problem here. The Teacher just seems to wash her hands of it and recommended that dc see a councilor.

threerings Mon 04-Mar-13 15:50:28

the HT has no understanding of what is causing the problem, just that he is not pulling his weight. The Teacher has told her about the Imaginary friend and they have come to the conclusion that he should see a counsellor.
Few months ago a child inflicted an injury on my dc and the HT turned around and told my dc that this did not happen and that he had inflicted it upon himself. Makes me think that yes their are indeed doing a great disservice in trying to pass the buck.
I want and will support him in anyway I can but feel sad that the school seem to not want to address this.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 04-Mar-13 16:09:56

Sorry to sound dense, I am not familiar with independent/private schools, I am not having a go or anything but I thought the idea of these was that as a fee paying parent you got more say not less with how your DC is taught, and ample support if he were struggling?

Is it just that they are 'coasting down' because they know they're closing in July?

threerings Mon 04-Mar-13 16:22:15

It could be but this is having an effect on dc and not helping him really. Don,t know how to go with this. feel like a naughty kid when speaking with HT and teachers as they are a bit snooty.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 04-Mar-13 16:27:36

Surely they still have to be accountable, it doesn't seem that they are coming up with anything constructive. Sorry I'm not helping OP but at least this is bumping your thread.

GW297 Mon 04-Mar-13 16:43:57

Turn it back on them and ask the teacher and school what they are going to do about it. They have identified the problem now they need to come up with strategies to support your child - especially if you are paying fees!

Pixieonthemoor Mon 04-Mar-13 16:49:21

I don't really understand the head saying they won't support and ed psych visit as they are an independent school? That is so far out of my experience of both the independent school my dc's attend and those of my friends kids - if there is even a hint of some issue that needs addressing or some extra help given, they are all over it (frankly sometimes a little ott) with everything from ed psychs to OT to speech and Lang. If it is indeed stress then they might be right - an ed psyche wouldn't be the right person but it doesn't sound like you are getting any support at all. Sounds to me like they have just given up and are coasting to the closure - really crap tbh. No wonder they are closing! Can you ask the next school for help? Perhaps have your ds over for some familiarisation days to get him used to the place? Meet up with some other kids for tea so he knows some faces in the crowd?

flangledoodle Mon 04-Mar-13 17:14:25

I think the school's attitude is wholly unacceptable. It seems that they have decided he is lazy and that is that. How does she know what the ed psych would find? My son's teacher was adamant that he was just being naughty and was flabbergasted when diagnosis was given. I would insist.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 04-Mar-13 17:38:31

I think the HT is abdicating her responsibility to some extent but can't advise you what to do. My concern if it were my DS would be that even if you seek help for him through your GP for example, I would not be very confident he is going to get his fair share of help from his teacher on a day-to-day basis. You have entrusted the school with your son's education but also a degree of personal development and general well-being. Is there some kind of learning support available?

threerings Tue 05-Mar-13 12:11:19

Head teacher has said that its not in the schools remit to have Ed Psych as they are an Independant school and its not what they can help with. Hence why they have directed me to my G.P. I,m not convinced with this as mY G.P only see,s dc a handful of times a year and does,t really know him on a daily basis like the school does. They always tend to see him as being naughty when in reality I think that he just struggling.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 05-Mar-13 12:24:32

This must be very worrying, I'd be wondering why my DS was struggling. Why should your son fall through cracks and lose confidence thereby harming his chances of catching up and progressing at the next school? I can't believe they can wash their hands of him like this. If he has something like, for example, dyslexia they seem to have either missed or misinterpreted this as playing up or laziness. I wonder if the eyesight issue you mentioned earlier is the tip of an iceberg.

threerings Tue 05-Mar-13 12:32:09

There is no signs of Dysleixa or SEN. The bigger picture here is that all the staff are being made redundant at the end of this academic year and the children are leaving week by week. so it could be that there is low morale amongst staff, Which is rubbing off on the children and maybe why my dc is disengaging from school work. Some staff are leaving soon and being replaced with supply staff so further disrupting the children. But I am trying hard to hold it all together for him and encourage him in all I can. But the school should be addressing this more and the effect its having emotionly on the children.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 05-Mar-13 12:34:32

It must be very unsettling and your DS may not be the only child who is showing signs of distress, for want of a better word.

Musomathsci Tue 05-Mar-13 12:42:52

If you want answers quickly, you may be better off seeking the opinion of an independent educational psychologist for an assessment. If you go through your GP, chances are the wait for an assessment by CAMHS may be very long indeed, and it sounds a bit over the top to be thinking of psychological problems on the basis of one 'symptom' ie the imaginary friend. It seems fairly obvious that the imminent school closure is stressing him, on top of any other issues that may be going on. I don't think you will get much help from the school - what would be the point? - from their perspective, they are closing shortly and there is no incentive for them to do anything other than get through the remaining time. Private schools are very variable in their approach to special needs. Some are great, but it seems others aren't very interested and rely on the fact that parents can and do go elsewhere if they are not satisfied.

MammaMedusa Tue 05-Mar-13 12:43:45

Can you move him sooner?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Tue 05-Mar-13 12:44:56

MrsMushroom asked that yesterday. Worth a thought?

threerings Tue 05-Mar-13 12:54:42

It,s in the pipeline to get him out at the end of term, But because of the short notice given it,s not a definate that he can get into school applied for. And it,s very possible that he won,t have a place come September.Part of me wants this sorted out for him before he leaves as I don,t want him starting a new school with this hanging over him, He should have a fresh start. It,s all up in the air as if I leave him there until July close will the teachers support him, from the looks of it I don,t think so.

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