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To find it disgusting so many people still think it's acceptable to use the 'R' word to describe someone who's done something stupid?

(217 Posts)
TangoPurple Sun 03-Mar-13 18:46:47

Bit of a rant! I told my friend this afternoon that i think it's terrible so many people still use the word 'retard' in every day conversation, as well as other offensive, disabilist terms.

She shrugged it off saying that people don't mean it offensively, it's just a phrase our parents used and passed on to us. She admitted that she used to say it all the time, but decided to stop after realising dd has autism, as she didn't want to upset me.

So, after she left, i took to my Facebook for another rant. A lot of people (who i have now deleted) echoed what my friend had said. They said it's just 'banter' and they call their friends it all the time. It's just another way of saying idiot etc.

One came along and actually cut and pasted the definition of retarded. 'Something that is slow or stunted. e.g. the car was retarded, due to its faulty mechanics.'

He therefore felt he had justified his frequent usage of the term in everyday conversation.

I just find it terribly upsetting that this is still considered acceptable. Don't want to break any rules by mentioning this, but someone had said it earlier today on here. A parent. On a parenting forum. It's horrendous.

My gorgeous 5yo has been called retarded before. We were on a double decker bus once, up the top, and she was stimming (flapping her arms) and humming because she was excited. A bunch of teens up the back called down, "Missus - is your kid reatrded or what?' and then called 'bye, window licker' as we left.

So, for someone then to tell me this is NOT a derogatory term is astounding.

Not sure of the point of this thread tbh. Probably another rant. I'm certain i'm not being unreasonable.

Please, please, please - if you are guilty of using this word, stop it. Your children will hear it and then think it's okay to use. And they may end up like those horrible children on the back of that bus my daughter and i had to endure.

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Mar-13 22:21:47

I've heard one or two people use the phrase 'blind dog' but tbh they weren't particularly intelligent. Other than that it's always been guide dog to my knowledge.

OP YANBU, there are still people (mainly kids/teens) who use phrases like 'retard' or something has 'spazzed out'.

It makes me cringe really.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:22:35

Telling me? I'm not telling you am I. I'm stating "my" opinion which is just as valid as yours by the way. Yet you see it fit to personally attack me?

Things are only offensive if you choose to see them as that.

It's not up to you either Norsk.

FlouncingMintyy Sun 03-Mar-13 22:23:03

Well, people either know it is an offensive word or they don't. If they don't then its great that there are a lot of people around to educate them.

I can't see what you are disgusted about tbh.

Most people know it is offensive, some don't. That's just the way things are atm and hopefully it will become used less and less as people become aware.

MrsDeVere Sun 03-Mar-13 22:23:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:24:47

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

NorksAreMessy Sun 03-Mar-13 22:27:06

I quite like being 'Norsk' smile
But I don't think I like Clipped very much sad

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:27:06

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:27:58

I wasn't put on this planet to be liked by strangers norks so I'm fine with that.

thornrose Sun 03-Mar-13 22:28:16

This thread is making me sick, Flouncing, you can't see what op is disgusted about, really?

LRDtheFeministDragon Sun 03-Mar-13 22:28:38

mrsDV is wise and eloquent. I agree with her.

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Mar-13 22:28:54

Because the family weren't particularly intelligent people as I remember.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 03-Mar-13 22:30:17

It's a horrible word. A woman at my work uses it all the time. She is a teacher, who did SEN as her specialism.

thornrose Sun 03-Mar-13 22:31:38

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:32:10

Thats your opinion LRD which is fine. I'm also entitled to mine.

Words really don't bother me very much, nor do veiled insults, I can however tell the difference between veiled passive ones and off the cuff ones, plus ones that are a figure of speech and not really meant as bad.

The people I like the least are the ones who dish out the veiled ones.

googlyeyes Sun 03-Mar-13 22:32:17

Throwing the word 'retarded' at a child with special needs is not offensive?

On which fucking planet??

MrsDeVere Sun 03-Mar-13 22:32:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:33:45

A few fuck off's now and again are ok too.

LRDtheFeministDragon Sun 03-Mar-13 22:33:52

Mmm. Not sure you are entitled to be disablist, no.

Do you think it's ok to call someone a 'retard'? If you do, then no, you're not 'entitled' to that, IMO. A person who used such language, knowing they were being offensive and disablist, would be a total wanker and a bigot. It's obvious, really.

All this rubbish about veiled and unveiled insults seems irrelevant to me.

MrsDeVere Sun 03-Mar-13 22:38:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:41:15

Very strong words there though huh LRD.

Retard is an old word that has now become very offensive but wasn't so in my day therefore it doesn't bother me, it's just a word.

I'm also not offended by the use of many other derrogatory words used here either aimed at me.

Always remember, two wrongs don't make a right and hypocracy is very evident on this thread.

MyDarlingClementine Sun 03-Mar-13 22:41:33

Its vile, I have complained many a time about various people using the word.

I can't help it but as soon as someone uses that word - or spastic - or even sticks their tongue in front of their lower teeth, something in me just turns me completly off that person.

They just sink in my esteem and its hard to get above it again.

Tigerbomb Sun 03-Mar-13 22:42:39

The word is offensive . It doesn't matter if it wasn't offensive 10 years ago - it is now.

If you know some people find the word offensive, what kid of person would continue using it, knowing that by using it they will upset someone...especially a child

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:43:10

No, not at all DeVere. I have an opion which is my right and i will defend it. I haven't once asked anyone to comment on what I've said. You have chosen to.

ClippedPhoenix Sun 03-Mar-13 22:43:55

What offends one doesn't offend another. It's a personal issue.

googlyeyes Sun 03-Mar-13 22:44:55

It's no-one's right to be disablist. In the same way no one has the 'right' to be racist

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