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Buying MIL a Mothers Day Card

(29 Posts)
Woodruff Sun 03-Mar-13 16:28:37

DH was just looking at the kitchen calendar and said to me: ?Don?t forget to pick up a Mothers Day card for my mum this week.?

It?s my job to buy cards and birthday presents etc so this isn?t an especially weird request ? I usually buy the Mothers Day cards for both sets of mothers and grandmothers. However, my mum died almost exactly a year ago ? the first anniversary will fall on Mothering Sunday.

There is no way I can go into a card shop and buy a Mothers Day card for his mum this year (or any year, actually) I just can?t. And I can?t believe that he thought for even one second that I could.

He normally supervises the DC in making homemade cards for me so he will have to make a special trip that he wouldn?t normally make to get his mum her card, but is that really such a big hardship in the grand scheme of things?

I?m not even so upset about the fact that he asked (well I am - how could he not think I wouldn?t mind?) but I?m hurt and furious that he can?t see why I?m upset and that he thinks I don?t have a right to be. He?s now annoyed at me for ?overreacting?. He?s said he?ll get the card himself, and I only needed to say ?no?, not make a mountain out of a molehill about it.

I want to kick him in the balls right now. AIBU?

EldritchCleavage Mon 04-Mar-13 01:56:52

I think your DH is being thoughtless, and instead of going on about you 'overreacting' he should just apologise.

Last year I got nothing for Mother's Day-DH hadn't organised anything (our children are too small to do it themselves). But it was only the second Mother's Day since MIL died. He was avoiding thinking about it, and completely overlooked me. I didn't get angry with him. I understood-it's one of those days that can be surprisingly hard after your parent dies, even if it wasn't a big thing when they were alive.

likesnowflakesinanocean Mon 04-Mar-13 02:09:47

no chance, yanbu. my mum died in November I am dreading mothers day and avoiding all the shops. dp is getting his own card despite it normally being something I do or he won't be getting one at all. hope it passes by as easily as possible for you

AdoraBell Mon 04-Mar-13 03:12:00

shock bloody insentative of him and no, YANBU. Tell him to get his own mother a Mother's day card, plus birthday and Xmas cards when the time comes, and make it clear why you have no intention of doing it.

I'm very sorry for your loss and wouldn't blame you at all if you want to ignore Mother's day this year completely, or do something that marks the anniversary and maybe doesn't involve DH's mother.

FWIF I don't buy cards on my OH's behalf, he got used to it and so can your DH

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Mon 04-Mar-13 05:59:58

I'm so sorry about your mum.

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