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To use my title

(319 Posts)
ArtemisatBrauron Sun 03-Mar-13 09:35:15

I have a PhD and use my title - I was thinking of just using it at work but decided consistency was best and changed it with the bank etc as well. I've recently had several snide comments about it as well as a few family members and work colleagues who continue to address me/write to me as Mrs Brauron. I haven't corrected them because it seems rude, but it annoys me - AIBU?

INeverSaidThat Thu 14-Mar-13 22:35:27

MumVsKids fair enough wink smile

GrendelsMum Thu 14-Mar-13 22:31:23

There was a name plate I saw every time I went for a supervision in college for someone called "Prof Sir Sam Smith" - I alwas wondered whether he insisted on being called 'Prof Sir Sam' at all times. (Apparently not, and the person I eventually asked didn't think it was funny, either).

GreenEggsAndNichts Thu 14-Mar-13 22:13:27

pff I'd totally use Lady if it were my title. All the time. wink

Anyway, DH has a Dr and uses it in his professional capacity (academia) but I would fall about laughing if he expected family and friends to address him as Dr Nichts on personal cards and parcels.

Even my in-laws don't expect that (also both Drs) and they're German (they love a good title, Germans).

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 14-Mar-13 22:05:53

Wow. Now that is pretty cool.

Do you still jump if people call you 'Lady MumVsKids'?

I think you should definitely get the smallest and most down-at-heel flat you can find and call yourself the 'Lady of 2b, Shitington View Houses'. grin

MumVsKids Thu 14-Mar-13 21:57:18

DH is an actual laird, and I inherited the title of lady when I married him.

I do use it on my driving licence and passport etc, but it's more just because I can. I'd be mortified If someone actually called me Lady MumVsKids for real!!


FWIW I totally agree about inherited titles being a bit pompous!! DH egged me on to use it and I did!! It is all a bit of a laugh to be honest, and though we are he is a Scottish landowner, we live in the midlands in a 3 bed semi because the opportunities for work are few and far between in the highlands!

One day I may actually be lady of the manor!!! smile

ComposHat Wed 13-Mar-13 23:58:21


Most humbled me lady.

Frantically tugs forelock.

An actual Laird or one of those send off a tenner and you can be a Lairds?

So are you 'The much honoured Mumsvskids' ?

INeverSaidThat Wed 13-Mar-13 23:33:37

I think inherited titles are very confused I would never use one. They are antiquated and pompous. I can't see any good reason to use one.


Earned titles are perfectly ok though smile

cory Wed 13-Mar-13 23:04:39

I wouldn't expect an aunt even to remember to address me as Mrs, let alone doctor. I'm happy if they can remember my name. My students call me by my first name. I do have Dr on my office door though- just in case some of my colleagues need reminding...

Stopsittingonyoursister Wed 13-Mar-13 22:52:48

My MIL expects us all to send cards etc to her and use "Dr" on the envelope etc. She introduces herself to all and sundry as "Dr". I find it saves people getting us mixed up - she is Dr X and I am Mrs X.

She is a bit odd though...

MumVsKids Wed 13-Mar-13 22:47:16

I have a title and I use it smile

I inherited it when I married DH. He is a laird, and when we married, I became a lady hmm

All of my official documents hold my title, as does my bank card etc.

I like it!!

GrendelsMum Wed 13-Mar-13 22:26:52

Whenever I have to add someone to our database and don't know if they're male or female, I put them down as 'Dr'.

louisianablue2000 Wed 13-Mar-13 22:21:42

The other reason I use my title is because I didn't change my name when I got married. So Miss Blue isn't right because I'm married and Mrs Blue isn't right because that's my Mum. So it's either Ms or Dr.

ComposHat Tue 12-Mar-13 02:07:14

Yes 'stormageddon, destroyer of worlds' will look lovely on an office door somewhere.

I would also be tempted to change my surname by deed poll to 'Feelgood' 'and the Medics' or 'gimmiethenewsIgottabadcaseoflovingyou' for shits and giggles post-PhD.

Monty27 Tue 12-Mar-13 01:16:45

Oh please OP, I'm a qualified prick but I don't call myself it grin

You really are a dick though.

I'm always wondering what exestionalism is really about?

Just asking. confused

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 12-Mar-13 01:16:02

That's nice ... especially the 'Leith in Particular' ... but I prefer to be Stormageddon, Destroyer of Worlds. I'll get it registered.

ComposHat Tue 12-Mar-13 01:12:12

Actually sod it, I am going down the Idi Amin route I will henceforth be known as:

"His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Compos Hat VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Scotland in General and Leith in Particular"

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 12-Mar-13 01:03:51

DPhil isn't a title at all. Someone who has a DPhil or an MD has the title of 'Dr'.

aurynne Tue 12-Mar-13 00:56:08

Miss, Mrs, Mrs and Mr are social titles.

Dr, MD, DPhil, MS... are professional titles.

To expect your family to address you by your professional title is indeed quite pretentious. Why in hell would anyone not professionally-related to you care whether or not you have a PhD? And why would they be expected to address that irrelevant fact?

By the way, I have a PhD too and the possibility of asking family and friends to address me as "Dr" in writing hadn't even occurred to me. Still doesn't.

Yjossarian Tue 12-Mar-13 00:38:54

I don't mind if people do/don't call me by my title; the only thing I'm a bit hmm about is that I work with a man who is also a D.Phil and everyone calls him Dr. I'm just Yjossarian...guess they don't think I'm smart enough for the title!

LRDtheFeministDragon Tue 12-Mar-13 00:36:54

My parents always find it difficult because they both have those, and lots of people assume (especially with my mum, partly because she's a woman but also because of how she comes across) that this 'D Phil' thing must be some kind of sub-under-level diploma. I've never come across anyone who objected to people recognizing it was a PhD!

My brother had a 'Dr Crapteacher' too ... in fact they sound disturbingly similar as he was a Chemistry teacher with a chip on his shoulder.

It always reminds me of the bit in Roald Dahl's 'Danny the Champion of the World' where the ex-army teacher insists on being addressed as 'captain'. Dahl points out (and I think it's based on his own experiences at school) that it's pretty piss-poor to use titles like 'major' in civilian life but 'captain' is really shite.

ComposHat Tue 12-Mar-13 00:29:16

My sister insisting on being addressed as Doctor in written correspondence is one thing, but the only person who got pissy about being addressed by their title wasn't a bigshot academic with a brilliant career behind them but a crap science teacher at my secondary school.

If you forgot and addressed him as Sir, he'd thunder 'I'm not a sir I am Doctor Crapteacher' we all thought he was a massive dickwad because of this and I get the impression the staff felt the same.

Perhaps he was just bitter that whilst his PhD buddies were splitting the atom, finding cures for cancer, he was chasing lost PE kits and wondering who had left the gas taps in the labs on.

ComposHat Mon 11-Mar-13 16:54:25

luej probably wasn't that clear upthread she does have a DPhil but I haven't been to her flat since she was awarded it. I assume it is up a d. too. She even. a bit sniffy if you mention she has a PhD rather than a DPhil.

VenusRising Mon 11-Mar-13 16:33:08

Replies? Rellies!

VenusRising Mon 11-Mar-13 16:29:25

If the postal system can deliver letters to you as ms mrs miss or reverend then I wouldn't bother about insisting that your relies use the dr bit.

If your replies are in denial of your undoubted brilliance and erstwhile scholastic endeavour, then they're a bunch of begrudgers, and "fling the poo now" would be my advice!

Well done btw on so many having a phd.... Someday I'll have one too!

Lueji Mon 11-Mar-13 16:24:02

your sister must feel like Howard in The Big Bang Theory. grin
Why would she display her BSc and MSc diplomas if she doesn't have a PhD, in that company?

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