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To use my title

(319 Posts)
ArtemisatBrauron Sun 03-Mar-13 09:35:15

I have a PhD and use my title - I was thinking of just using it at work but decided consistency was best and changed it with the bank etc as well. I've recently had several snide comments about it as well as a few family members and work colleagues who continue to address me/write to me as Mrs Brauron. I haven't corrected them because it seems rude, but it annoys me - AIBU?

ArtemisatBrauron Sun 03-Mar-13 21:59:18

kitchenandjumble I don't mind letters that are first name,last name - I just get a bit hmm at letters to Mrs Husbands name husbands surname.

Goal Sun 03-Mar-13 21:59:27

Badbride- that's not the impression given by some people on this thread.
Wherearemysocks - I would have been mortified had you done that at my wedding.

Coconutty Sun 03-Mar-13 22:04:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 03-Mar-13 22:06:07

Goal, you seem to spend a lot of time cringing at other's gracelessness.

Maybe you need to unclench a bit.

ArtemisatBrauron Sun 03-Mar-13 22:09:09

I wouldn't because I am not a medical doctor ... Also, I fly a lot (conferences 3-4 times a year, plus 6ish flights home in school holidays to visit parents every year) and have NEVER been on a flight where anyone has been asked to help with a medical emergency. I think it only happens in the movies TBH.

VinegarDrinker Sun 03-Mar-13 22:14:47

I'm a medical doctor. Dr is my title, like most medics I was qualified before I married so I have never been Mrs. If
Dr isn't an option I would choose Ms. Tbh I haven't bothered changing most things (though it's nearly 8 years since I qualified) but anything new I tend to put Dr. I never changed my name either, Mrs Husbands-Name is my MiL.

I also like confusing cold callers who without exception assume that Dr VinegarDrinker must be a man.

LRDtheFeministDragon Sun 03-Mar-13 22:17:36

whereare - good on you! I bet she was pleased. Very rude of the vicar though.

KitchenandJumble Sun 03-Mar-13 22:26:38

I didn't change my name when I got married, so I'm not Mrs at all. Sometimes I am called Mrs, either with my last name or my DH's. And sometimes people (usually cold callers) address my DH as Mr. + my last name. It's not something I can get too worked up about, as these are people I will probably never speak to again.

If a family member or friend wrote to me as Mrs. DH's Last Name, I would correct the person, simply because that isn't my name. It's never happened though. Otherwise, as long as my name is spelled vaguely correctly, I'm not too bothered. grin

badbride Sun 03-Mar-13 22:33:57

CollieDog Noooooo! You're the baaad one! Did you really say that in those meetings??? grin Am PMSL and wishing I had your nerve smile

I have long suspected that the hallowed H-index is actually just a mathematical formula for willy-waving. If only I could invent the academic citation equivalent of Viagra I would become very rich indeed.

badbride Sun 03-Mar-13 22:40:39

Goal Fair enough, I just wanted to clarify where I was coming from (and the view I know many of my friends/ colleagues take). Which is that I prefer "Dr" because it's the nearest things that describes me, not as a female, or a relationship status, but as a human being.

JulietteMontague Sun 03-Mar-13 22:46:30

I use it as and when I feel like it. I worked very hard for it, I am entitled to it. I especially love using it with anyone who wants to try and insist I am Mrs or Miss. Like the poster up thread, I will then say 'It's Doctor, but Juliette is fine'. I am taking to the idea of pimping out a car with Yo Doctor down each side <modest>.

chezchaos Sun 03-Mar-13 22:55:04

I always use Dr. I'm more proud of that achievement than the fact that I happen to be married. MIL insists on addressing me as 'Mrs DHs name' but that's a generational thing. I find it strange that anyone would consider it odd for a woman to use a hard-earned academic title, but not blink an eyelid at the change of title on marriage.

drfayray Sun 03-Mar-13 23:16:59

It took me a long time and a lot of hard work to get my PhD. It means a lot to me and I use the title. Also I am getting divorced and I love how the Dr can be used instead of Mrs. In fact I get very agitated when I see the Mrs on anything and quickly make sure that it is changed. I do not like[grin Ms. Anyway, I am not Ms or Mrs...I am DR! grin

I earned it. It is a legitimate title, and too bad if people feel like they have to make snide remarks (I don't really get many, tbh).

missingwelliesinsd Sat 09-Mar-13 22:03:50

I'm very late to this thread, but imho it is crass to use a non-MD doctor title outside of professional (academic) environments. I live in the US and it is frowned upon. I have a PhD and a JD (Juris Doctorate) but as I don't teach, I don't ever use the doctor title.

Incidentally, it IS becoming an issue of confusion in the medical world now. There are increasing numbers of nurses who are achieving PhDs and referring to themselves as doctors when they interact with patients. There is a now a lively debate on how acceptable it is to refer to yourself as a doctor in a medical setting when you are not an MD. Not to rob the PhD nurse of respect for his/her academic title, but it causes potentially serious confusion.

Lueji Sat 09-Mar-13 22:20:51

In sone countries it's worse.
Anyone with a degree is a doctor (and in Brazil you just need money, basically), but in lower case.
Now that I am an Assistant Professor, I sometimes say I'm a professor, but it's the same word for teacher here, and I think most people assume I'm a teaching assistant. grin

Also coming from the UK where at academic level we all call eachother by first names, including supporting staff, I think some people by email don't easily realise what my position is, as I tend to just sign or say my first name. smile

Not bothered normally, just hate it when people call me love or sonething like that.

MrsAyrtonSenna Sat 09-Mar-13 22:25:48

You have worked hard for it and have earned the right to use the title, so why not?

whiteflame Sun 10-Mar-13 08:16:51

Well, Dr is originally the title for PhD. So medical Doctors are the ones who starting misusing it.

giraffesCantDateDucks Sun 10-Mar-13 08:25:26

If I had a PhD I would have it tattooed on my head.

catsrus Sun 10-Mar-13 08:39:07

I try not to use a title at all - but where the drop down box insists on having one then it's Dr because that is my correct title (PhD).

I would prefer people didn't use a title for me in personal correspondence - but if they insist on using one then they should use the correct one. Doesn't seem like rocket science to me - how can it be correct to use the wrong title ? confused. It's either no title or the correct one.

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 10-Mar-13 09:19:45

In the USA, it's true that only MDs are called "doctor" in general daily life. PhDs are only called that in professional settings.

I still get tripped up over doctors who are surgeons. I call them "doctor" instead of Mr. or Ms. I mean well, but I am probably insulting them.

BsshBossh Sun 10-Mar-13 11:59:04

I'm non-plussed by titles. I'm proud of my DPhil but have only felt the need to use Dr when I was actually a university lecturer, and with my banks smile It isn't relevant for my current career though it's impressed certain clients when they've found out. I am happy to be a Ms, Mrs, Miss... anything. I know who I am and I am more than any title.

DH is a DPhil too but only uses it when relevant eg with clients in his DPhil field. He never uses it with his banks.

My mum is a medical Dr but even she's happy with Mrs when not working.

My non-PhD/Dr father on the other hand was always delighted and proud of all our titles and lost no opportunity to boast about his wife, daughter and son-in-law grin Bless him! He would address all mail to me as Dr Bssh DPhil, MPhil, BA (Hons).


HorribleMother Sun 10-Mar-13 12:20:02

Dentists are a nightmare (currently doing research where I have to contact lots of dentists). Some are doctors and some aren't.

whiteflame Sun 10-Mar-13 16:11:24

Why do you say "even she" when referring to a medical doctor, Bsshbossh? Dr is a research title, adopted by doctors. So it should be "even PhDs" who are happy to not be known by Dr, in your scenario.

msrisotto Sun 10-Mar-13 16:14:57

Those people who find it distasteful for a woman with a phd to call herself dr are sexist or jealous and insecure. If it is your title, it would be wrong not to use it.

Goal Sun 10-Mar-13 16:19:16

Yes msrisotto we are all jealous even though several of us are drs ourselves. Titles aren't exclusive you can be a dr and also be a mr,mrs,miss or ms! Being one doesn't exclude you from being another as well!

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