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To use my title

(319 Posts)
ArtemisatBrauron Sun 03-Mar-13 09:35:15

I have a PhD and use my title - I was thinking of just using it at work but decided consistency was best and changed it with the bank etc as well. I've recently had several snide comments about it as well as a few family members and work colleagues who continue to address me/write to me as Mrs Brauron. I haven't corrected them because it seems rude, but it annoys me - AIBU?

mumfordanddaughters Sun 03-Mar-13 09:38:01

I use mine on everything - but that is partly because I have "issues" with Mrs/Miss when men don't have to advertise their availability and partly because I didn't change my name when I got married so Mrs Maidenname seems wrong. But mostly I use it to cover my insecurity and remind myself I was clever once ;)

HildaOgden Sun 03-Mar-13 09:38:12

Do you expect family to start calling you Doctor?Tbh,I think that sounds quite odd of you.

LindyHemming Sun 03-Mar-13 09:38:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumfordanddaughters Sun 03-Mar-13 09:39:06

I've never met any snideness though...but family do still use mrs...
Haven't answered your question have I! I think YANBU and anybody who is snide IBU.

Numberlock Sun 03-Mar-13 09:41:28

I agree with you. I have several friends who still write to me as Mrs even though I've been Miss since I got divorced ten years ago and it annoys me.

Plus nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements and acknowledging your title.

thing1andthing2 Sun 03-Mar-13 09:41:33

I use mine (dr from having a phd) on financial documents, with the bank, on all health records and just for fun when filling in forms e.g. Registering for accounts for shopping on line. I love it! Still, even 5 years down the line, I feel a slight thrill at putting Dr!
I don't worry about it when family write to us as mr and mrs, I don't mind also being mrs thing.
I think people should be pleased for you for such an achievement, and if they are not, maybe they are just a bit jealous or snidey anyway?

Megatron Sun 03-Mar-13 09:44:29

DH only uses his on official docs. He doesn't expect his family or close friends to use it he says it would make him feel like bit of a tosser.

Ilovexmastime Sun 03-Mar-13 09:48:26

Mumfordanddaughters has summed up how I feel about my 'Dr'!

No one has ever been snide (to my face) about it. Lots of people call me Mrs <DH's surname> but I don't mind, I'll answer to any old name now grin.

HollyBerryBush Sun 03-Mar-13 09:49:57

So long as you dont mind people asking you about their bunions!

nosleeps Sun 03-Mar-13 09:52:34

Use it, but be prepared for the day you're on a flight and the crew rush over to demand your assistance as a fellow passenger's collapsed.

sarahtigh Sun 03-Mar-13 09:53:47

YANBU except perhaps with family as that is not how they relate to you you are their daughter, mother cousin etc not Dr,

for bank etc I think it is a good thing and anything except family should accept that as title without snideness rolling eyes etc

for your colleagues to not use it formally is bad though I presume on a day to day basis they call you by your first name

NumericalMum Sun 03-Mar-13 09:58:40

I really hate titles. I think they are pointless. I think there are many more difficult achievements that have no title. I am really not jealous as the people who need to know what I do (my colleagues and counterparts) do and I can't see why anyone else would care? At my DC's school I really can't see why they need to know other than to treat you better which is slightly ridiculous IMHO!

ArtemisatBrauron Sun 03-Mar-13 10:11:55

To clarify, I obviously don't expect my family to call me Dr to my face, but my aunts and granny write to me all the time (I live far away from most family) and they use Mrs on the envelope. I'm a teacher so in front of kids my colleagues call me Dr Brauron, or in the case of some, Miss Brauron, which annoys me even more as I am married, use my husbands name so Miss Brauron doesn't exist!

ArtemisatBrauron Sun 03-Mar-13 10:13:45

Although it doesn't bother me at all when kids call me "miss" on its own as that seems to be a universal title for all female teachers and I quite like it as it makes me feel more teachery! grin

PureQuintessence Sun 03-Mar-13 10:14:43

This is all very existential.

To be or not to be. And Nille is a stone.

PureQuintessence Sun 03-Mar-13 10:16:02

In India people children called me Auntie. I was not their aunt of course. Did I not exist purely because they called me something I was not?

ChairmanWow Sun 03-Mar-13 10:17:13

Do you not think it's a bit precious to expect aunts and granny to address you as Dr even if it is only by post? Why does it matter so much?

I can understand it with students, particularly if you don't wish to be called Miss, but not family.

PureQuintessence Sun 03-Mar-13 10:17:22

non -people children did not call me anything. confused

Not sure if it was they or me that did not exist.

<goes to lie down again. Waiting for Lempsip to work>

ProphetOfDoom Sun 03-Mar-13 10:19:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HollyBerryBush Sun 03-Mar-13 10:19:47

I think instructing your family to write 'Dr' on the envelope, at best is just a tad pretentious.

All I have now is Maureen Lipman running through my head with 'you got an 'ology? you're a scientist'.

Professional and private life should never mix over.

You'll rub your collegues up the wrong way if you keep correcting them. So long as you are correctly listed on the school site/telephone/department directories I don't see the issue with the 'incorrect' us of 'miss' - most female teachers are addressed as such, same as male teachers addressed as 'sir' without a knighthood between them.

It's all a bit of a non issue IMHO

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 03-Mar-13 10:20:05

The only place i don't use it now is at the doctors grin I thought i wouldnt use it either, but i worked bloody hard for my PhD and im damned if im not going to use it. My family call me by my first name smile i let them! But on cards my MIL always addresses card to me and DP and calls me DR Lem - i did laugh about it with her but she says its because she is proud of me, which is nice.

ProphetOfDoom Sun 03-Mar-13 10:22:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CloudsAndTrees Sun 03-Mar-13 10:23:02

You expect your Aunts and Granny to use Dr on personal letters?

In the nicest possible way, I think you've got you got a slightly over inflated sense of self importance going on there.

I can see it being annoying for colleagues to address you wrongly, but no more so than anyone else who is a Miss being referred to as Mrs or vice versa.

ReluctantBeing Sun 03-Mar-13 10:23:29

I'd use it! For some reason, Sainsbury's put Countess Being when I get a delivery and I love it.

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