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to think the police need to be occupied by more serious crimes

(82 Posts)
LittleTurtle Thu 28-Feb-13 16:05:24

Ok, so a while ago, a very close ex colleauge of mine told me that he was on his way, drunk from a party and saw a 'hooker' and curiosly asked her 'how much for a blow job' This is a popular hooker street. The girls said ' No I'm not a hooker, he ashamedly, profusely apolosised. So he walked on and three policemen, undercover came to him and handcuffed him for lewd behaviour etc. The took him to the police station and said he had a caution and took his fingerprints etc. though they say said his parents would no tnow about etc now is he is worried that he is a sex offender.

What worries me the most was that at the time he told me, I got a hit and run while 8 months pregnant. I crossed at a lights and some angry guy came rushing towards me even though the rules cleary state to not harrass someone already crossing lights. I was too shocked to take the full number plates and had a partial and a sign on his car. I then filled in a police report and was told because I did not have the full registration they could do nothing. But the next lights had a camera and I gave them the exact time I got hit and what time they coud see him in the previous and next camera. .

FreyaSnow Thu 28-Feb-13 16:58:23

What was he so scared of? People are given cautions all the time. Did the police behave inappropriately to him? He could make a complaint if that has happened.

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Thu 28-Feb-13 17:02:39

I can see why you are angry about the person who drove into you not being caught, it could have been a lot worse and whoever it was shouldn't be driving. Hopefully the next time they do it the victim will be as lucky as you.

But what your friend did is serious too. Women who live in red light districts are regularly hassled and intimidated by men like him. I have a friend who does, it happens to her often, and it's now happening to her daughter (early teens). Maybe the caution will teach him that accosting women in the street is unacceptable and wrong, although most men seem to figure that out without the help of the police.

TheNebulousBoojum Thu 28-Feb-13 17:03:27

Really, Freya? hmm

He was probably just some cocky young arsehole who got drunk and thought he'd ask a random woman on the street a stupid, lewd and offensive question. Then it all went wrong for him and he got scared of the consequences attached to his behaviour.
Much more likely than the police being inappropriate over an offence that happend a thousand times an evening in cities all over the UK.

maddening Thu 28-Feb-13 17:06:45

What does th fact that she may have been an undercover policewoman have to do with it ? Your friend still propositioned her believing she was a prostitute.

FreyaSnow Thu 28-Feb-13 17:19:12

I have experienced both being approached at night as an assumed prostitute and quite separately being given a caution. The former was very scary and the latter was not. People are given cautions all the time. Teenagers are given cautions for shoplifting. It is not some terrifying experience.

TheNebulousBoojum Thu 28-Feb-13 17:24:26

He was probably unprepared for the fact that his actions were taken seriously.
Unlike a shoplifter, he probably thought that what he was doing was just a bit of fun. He was wrong, and the power shift can be very unsettling.

BridgetBidet Thu 28-Feb-13 21:15:47

Right so - if I understand you rightly any woman who happens to walk down a 'hooker street' deserves to be harassed and no action should be taken.

If she lives/works in the area, if she happens to have taken a wrong turning, if she is a nurse/social worker making a home visit then she just has to put up and shut up if some pissed up wanker decides to scare the shit out of her?

No, sorry, you're talking bollocks.

Incidentally in my area the 'popular hooker street' is also extremely close to the university and the poor students are harassed all the time. I think your mate is a disgrace, he could at least have the decency (and not been so tight) to go to a reputable brothel. Street prostitutes are just poor, desperate, broken women with terrible problems who are being awfully, awfully exploited. Men who visit them are just a disgrace and are probably riddled with disease as a result.

LittleTurtle Fri 01-Mar-13 13:01:48

Me and the baby are ok. Though I had a big bruise on my leg and side of body as I instictively turned to protect the baby.

You are right Nebulous, he is a 25yr old who has never broken the law ever, not even a parking ticket. So he was shocked at being taken to the police station and having his finger prints taken and all - I am not not familiar with arrests and cautions, but it was frightening for him and would have frightened me too. He was just intimidated.

Bridget, if I was a 45yr old coming out at 2am in my hotpants in a hooker zone would not be such a great idea if I was so afraid of drunk punters. There are not universities here. Nor do I know of any reputable brothels nearby.

What pisses me off is that there were 4 coppers waiting on some drunk randy kids when just a few streets away I was almost killed - and maybe a few others. Mine happened around 7pm by the way.

When I got my dismissive letter, I just accepted that police have better things to do - like solve murders and actual assaults., and there are simply no resources to look at the cameras and trace the culprit. I just feel the 4 police who who arrested him (yes I count the lady as police cause the other 3 were over the road coud not hear if he was asking for time or giving a complement.). Could have been better utilised elsewhere. Though I susptect he is just a victim of stats ie. how many arrests did we make this month.

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Fri 01-Mar-13 13:29:22

Every woman has the absolute right to walk wherever they want,wearing whatever they want and not be subjected to fear or intimidation or lewd and abusive behaviour.

Your friend is a disgusting asshole who deserves more than a caution. Maybe he can make a donation to the nearest rape crisis centre.

Its awful you were hit but the two incidences are not linked and there is not one more deserving of justice than the other. Your argument is nonsensical.

LittleTurtle Fri 01-Mar-13 13:47:44

How is my judgement nonsensical.

I'm sorry, but I feel if a woman / child was raped or murdered then they deserve more investigation than what happened to me, even though what happened to me was traumatic!

quoteunquote Fri 01-Mar-13 13:53:32

Your friend is a disgusting asshole who deserves more than a caution. Maybe he can make a donation to the nearest rape crisis centre

this ^^ What Babymakesthe bellygo round said,

I would suggest he finds a course to go on to help him change his thinking,

I think the Swedish have a much better way of prosecuting.


SilverOldie Fri 01-Mar-13 14:07:17

LittleTurtle You think he was intimidated by the police? What about him intimidating a woman in the street by approaching her and assuming she was a prostitute? I hope he has learned his lesson and the police were right to treat it as seriously as they did.

LittleTurtle Fri 01-Mar-13 14:14:21

No way the women had it coming, but how come serious crimes of near death are ignored to go trap some punters?

As I said, she was a cop, cause they could not hear from across the road.

BarbarianMum Fri 01-Mar-13 14:17:40

<<Every woman has the absolute right to walk wherever they want,wearing whatever they want and not be subjected to fear or intimidation or lewd and abusive behaviour.>>


I used to live in a red light district and was constantly hassled by men - drunk or otherwise - regardless of time of day or what I wore. Apparently just being in possession of a vagina and being out on the street made me a reasonable target (trust me, it wasn't because of my come hither attitude amazing good looks).

PS. Prostitution is rarely victimless. Street prostitutes in particular are vulnerable and are often being exploited. It's not just a business transaction between 2 consenting adults.

notsofrownieface Fri 01-Mar-13 14:17:50

Every woman has the absolute right to walk wherever they want,wearing whatever they want and not be subjected to fear or intimidation or lewd and abusive behaviour. Your friend is a disgusting asshole who deserves more than a caution

This. Exactly.What BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound said.

LRDtheFeministDragon Fri 01-Mar-13 14:23:05

Totally agree with mrsTP on everything she's said.

It is sad what happened to you, but it is extremely arrogant for you to decide that your wellbeing is more important than that of other women - ok, you may think what your friend did wasn't particularly awful but the police obviously disagreed, and this is their job. How's about letting them do it?

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 01-Mar-13 14:23:42

It's OK. People haven't noticed that the OP REALLY doesn't think she is being unreasonable. So, she can't be. Even though pretty much everyone else thinks she is... That's how AIBU works, right?

OP, you think we are minimising what happened to you. We are not. The driver was wrong, he should have been caught and punished. It was scary and illegal. We also think your friend was wrong. What he did was scary and illegal. He should have been punished. One does not cancel out the other.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 01-Mar-13 14:24:52

I x-posted with being agreed with. blush

Dawndonna Fri 01-Mar-13 14:26:42

Actually, whilst this is the job of the police, I do think it shouldn't be. However, I also believe that prostitution and prostitutes should be protected by law and that it should be made legal, thereby (hopefully) making the situation safer for all those concerned.

Buzzardbird Fri 01-Mar-13 14:34:45

But it's not legal and she wasn't a prostitute, therefore he was cautioned for breaking the law.

What happened to OP was awful and also wrong.

Both incidents were a crime.

MrsTerryPratchett Fri 01-Mar-13 14:36:32

I'm all for decriminalising the women. The Police were cautioning the person who propositioned someone in the street. Good for them I say.

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound Fri 01-Mar-13 15:03:44

The reason your argument is nonsensical is because you are minimising and normalising abusive behaviour towards women. I don't doubt that your experience was scary and you felt it a near death experience but how can you deduce that the lady your friend was abusive to wasn't afraid your friend was going to drag her off somewhere,that her experience wasn't a perceived near death experience. Both are awful,both deserve justice. You didn't get justice but that does not mean that you trump her because you were crossing a road and pregnant,and she was walking in a red light area.
But I don't think you will get that. You put in details like what the lady was wearing,time of the evening/night. That makes no difference.

ChairmanWow Fri 01-Mar-13 15:25:53

LittleTurtle clearly you think YANBU so your point in starting this thread was what exactly?

You seem to make a whole load of assumptions, primarily that the fact the police were out trying to catch men buying sex was a) a waste of time and b) directly related to the police not acting on you getting brushed by a car and left with bruising. Correct me if I'm wrong but you also seem to have zero respect for women who are prostitutes or anyone you or you mate think might resemble one. Or any woman who lives in a red light district.

Street prostitutes are often damaged - over 90 dependent on drugs and a very high proportion having suffered sexual abuse. They are regularly beaten up and raped by punters. This includes a friend of mine who suffered appalling sexual abuse growing up, who got hooked on heroin to try and block it out and ended up on the streets. Fifteen years since she got off the drugs and the street she is still in and out of psychiactric care. If men don't buy sex these women won't sell it on the streets. Please don't claim this isn't a serious crime - it is. I don't buy for a second that your friend was just curious - he was trying to buy a blow job and deserves everything he gets. His intimidation is nothing compared to what these women experience on a regular basis.

But this woman wasn't a prostitute, was she. Not that you and your friend care. I mentioned being propositioned when I lived near a red light district. It was horrible and extremely intimidating. It got so bad that every time a car slowed down I would get my rape alarm out and start running. I was 18 and had just left home to move to a large city. It was terrifying.

So please actually take the time to read and think about the responses, or if you are so convinced you're always right don't bother posting next time.

Sorry for ranting but you need to start listening!

Lulabellarama Fri 01-Mar-13 15:32:43

I like the idea of 'reputable brothels'
You seem very ill-informed about the realities of the sex industry, I would suggest doing a bit of reading up.

And your two incidents are completely unrelated, making your thread nonsensical

squeakytoy Fri 01-Mar-13 15:53:56

"I crossed at a lights and some angry guy came rushing towards me even though the rules cleary state to not harrass someone already crossing lights."

The "rules" clearly state that when the lights are on green for the traffic to move, pedestrians stay on the pavement too. Whose right of way was it to cross the road? Did you in fact, walk in front of a car when you shouldnt have been crossing?

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