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To have told this bloke to F off

(95 Posts)
kittysaysmiaow Wed 27-Feb-13 17:25:37

I was walking DS (11 weeks) round the block in his buggy. I probably looked pretty miserable-I'm not, just sleep deprived and DS (11 weeks) has been alternately feeding and screaming at me non stop all day so I just wanted to get out of the house for a short walk. I walked past a group of pissed blokes standing outside a pub and one of them gave it the old 'give us a smile luv' and I snapped and told him to F off. I feel really annoyed with myself that I let him get the better of me but WHAT is an appropriate reply to this bloody annoying comment?

flippinada Wed 27-Feb-13 19:33:56

Enfyshedd how terrible. Poor you, and your friend.

YANBU k& good for you. Also, this too shall pass. I had this nearly a year ago, DS was 1 week old, had literally ripped me a new one & my very dear aunt died suddenly & I couldn't do the 3 hour car journey to be with my cousin. I told the chap to fuck off & precisely why.

spiritedaway Wed 27-Feb-13 19:38:50

Some dog virtually jumped into my child's Pushchair when i was crossing a busy road. The guy came over and grabbed him and explained he was just a big daft puppy. I didn't kick off or complain even but just because i remained stony faced and didn't smile sweetly he ended up calling me a miserable bitch. . you did the right thing OP .

PopeBenedictsP45 Wed 27-Feb-13 19:53:28

YANBU. The reason why it is offensive is because they are forcing you to engage - their need for interaction trumps your need to just be left alone.

And like someone said above - you would NEVER hear a bloke say to another bloke 'come on mate, smile'.

nalubeadsgirl Wed 27-Feb-13 19:54:07

I would have done the same grin

AnnieLobeseder Wed 27-Feb-13 19:56:50

My stock response it, "you appear to be under the mistaken impression that I exist to provide you with entertainment. I do not. Piss off."

ErrorError Wed 27-Feb-13 20:55:49

I hate with a passion the phrase "cheer up luv, it might never happen". For starters, WHAT might never happen? I don't get it. Secondly, it is irritating and doesn't take into account circumstance, as evidenced by Enfyshedd's awful experience. I'd be inclined to clock them in the face! Or watch their mortification as I venomously tell them why I'm not smiling.

The best response OP, is to give them the creepiest joker-esque smile you can muster and walk on in silence. I only wish someone had the courage to try this!

kittysaysmiaow Wed 27-Feb-13 21:33:13

Enfyshedd, I am so sorry that happened to you hmm awful.

andubelievedthat Wed 27-Feb-13 21:59:29

i love these posts, the replies in particular, you, annoyed at some unwanted attn from drunk male reply with language you would not use in front of a child? and everyone says well done !

aldiwhore Wed 27-Feb-13 22:04:25

I totally accept it's patronising, cringeworthy, bloody annoying.. BUT telling a bunch of pissed up people to fuck off is not wise, not when you're in charge of a child.

Though I completely understand WHY you did it, I just can't say "Well done", hope you don't think I'm being a picky bastard, I've known people get really REALLY hurt for lesser reaction, makes me bite my tongue.

Of course, there's a time when you have to say something, even if unwise... so maybe IABU or reading too much into it.

DebbieLovesDallas Wed 27-Feb-13 22:05:11

YANBU. I always reply with, "I only smile when there's something worth smiling at". That seems to shut them up. grin

TartyMcTart Wed 27-Feb-13 22:06:04

Are you all really that bothered? It's just a random comment made by a random man. It honestly would not bother me, knackered or not.

What if someone wolf whistles at you? Would that offend you too?

NotSoNervous Wed 27-Feb-13 22:06:05


AnnieLobeseder Wed 27-Feb-13 22:16:26

TartyMcTart - wolf whistles sure would offend me. Am I out in the street to have my attractiveness assessed loudly and publicly by random strangers? No, I am not.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Feb-13 02:35:25

Agree with the assessments of the meaning of this kind of behaviour from men.

Also agree that swearing is perhaps not an ideal response, but am not going to berate someone for doing it once in a while.

blackcurrants Thu 28-Feb-13 02:52:05

YADNBU. Sexist Tosser behaviour.

PopeBenedictsP45 Thu 28-Feb-13 02:57:10

What if someone wolf whistles at you? Would that offend you too?

Erm, yes. hmm Because I am just going about my day and not really up for having anyone check out my body and then verbalise their opinion of it.

HollyBerryBush Thu 28-Feb-13 05:56:34

Ahthe days of wold whistles, you feel like shit, you get one and all of a sudden you have a spring in your step grin

Although by virtue of the comments on here let me give you this situation.

When heavily pregnant I bumped into a general acquaintance who said, without pausing for breath "Awww! nearly due now? lovely! nipping out to get your mum something for mothers day before you have it?? Lovey! good luck!bye!"

According to you lot I guess I should have screamed like a banshee after her "you utter %$£ why don't you ^know she died last week and I'm out looking for a funeral dress?"

You see, talking to people, often contains meaninless pleasentries, even if inept.

Come to think of it, having just filled up the car (4am) I initiated a converstion with the lad on the counter "must get lonely here at night" to whit he replied "no love, its nice and quiet, I like it"... O.M.G he called me love, I suppose I should report him, see if I can get him sacked or deported or something, the horror of using a term of endearment to some one old enough to be your mother. Christ I don't know how I'm going to get through the day without therapy


BerthaKitt Thu 28-Feb-13 06:12:43

Holly neither of your examples bear any relation to the situation described by the OP. Can you really not see that? confused

MidnightMasquerader Thu 28-Feb-13 06:17:09

Of course she can, it's just much more annoying fun to be disingenuous. smile

HollyBerryBush Thu 28-Feb-13 06:25:51

people look for something to be offended about all of the time.

If I spent my life in the state of angst some of the board members seem to, I'd be on a double dose of beta blockers.

I can't remember the last time someone annoyed me - either I skate through life paying scant attention to anyone (this is probably true grin) or I take them at face value, not looking for hidden and subversive meanings.

DolomitesDonkey Thu 28-Feb-13 06:28:30

Oh good lord. Is it really beyond the realms of all possibility that he saw a miserable looking woman and wanted to inject a little kindness and let her know she wasn't alone in the world? Men are not renowned for being enigmatic conversation starters and fewer will try when encountering such a bunch of sour-pusses.

Holly you seem to spend your life in horrified disbelief at the ridiculous attitudes of the majority of posters on here. Perhaps that takes up so much of your time that you just don't notice RL incidents?
Oh & I agree your examples were bizarrely irrelevant.

Although I should say, sorry about your mum. That must've been really crap. sad

complexnumber Thu 28-Feb-13 07:21:26

"Offence is not given, it is taken"

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