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To have told this bloke to F off

(95 Posts)
kittysaysmiaow Wed 27-Feb-13 17:25:37

I was walking DS (11 weeks) round the block in his buggy. I probably looked pretty miserable-I'm not, just sleep deprived and DS (11 weeks) has been alternately feeding and screaming at me non stop all day so I just wanted to get out of the house for a short walk. I walked past a group of pissed blokes standing outside a pub and one of them gave it the old 'give us a smile luv' and I snapped and told him to F off. I feel really annoyed with myself that I let him get the better of me but WHAT is an appropriate reply to this bloody annoying comment?

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 27-Feb-13 17:31:19

It's really frustrating. And sexist, I have never heard them say it to another male.

LaurieFairyCake Wed 27-Feb-13 17:31:55

Any response you want to make is appropriate. Verbal, that is - if you gun them down with an Uzi it would be an actual problem grin

Pissed blokes harassing you? Say what you like.

CatelynStark Wed 27-Feb-13 17:32:12

Good for you - that really pisses me off too.

CourgetteSmuggler Wed 27-Feb-13 17:34:01

It is annoying! but I wouldn't let it bother you now, what's done is done and it's a pretty good reply.

sue52 Wed 27-Feb-13 17:34:30

Your comment to them was appropriate. You could have been ruder and it would still have been alright.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Wed 27-Feb-13 17:37:17

LaurieFairyCake - Any response you want to make is appropriate. Verbal, that is - if you gun them down with an Uzi it would be an actual problem - should I go to the buggies section to see which ones offer purpose built storage for the Uzi?

OP - well done for speaking up.

PuppyMonkey Wed 27-Feb-13 17:41:50

Totally reasonable grin

Kooza Wed 27-Feb-13 17:45:15

Only slightly less annoying than the "it might never 'appen" brigade.

Poor you, it will get better. Well done for getting out of the house at all!

kittysaysmiaow Wed 27-Feb-13 17:47:03

Thanks for the responses. I'm glad it's not just me that finds it sexist and harassing. Just wish I had dealt with it in a more dignified way than swearing like a trooper whilst pushing a buggy smile

Enfyshedd Wed 27-Feb-13 18:02:21

Ah yes Kooza - "Cheer up Love, it might never 'appen". Just the thing you want to hear a day or 2 after you've ID'd a friend's body when you're 13 weeks pg hmmsad.

Missmodular Wed 27-Feb-13 18:03:58

I wouldn't make a habit of it - a random bloke once told me to cheer up, I told him where to go and he got really offended and started following me, calling me a bitch. It was really scary hmm

OutsideOverThere Wed 27-Feb-13 18:05:31

You did Ok. He won't even remember it if he was pissed. Wanker.

I normally ignore, or pretend not to hear, or say fuck off, if I'm feeling particularly cross, or look at them puzzled and keep walking.

Not worth worrying about though I imagine you feel knackered and shitty already, forget it, honestly. You did nothing bad. (I have an 8wo so understand the doom)

claig Wed 27-Feb-13 18:13:48

I agree with MissModular, you have to be careful because you don't know how pissed people or even sober people will react.

aldiwhore Wed 27-Feb-13 18:30:25

YANBU but perhaps unwise in telling a group of pissed men to fuck off, unless you're a karate expert or can run fast (or have that Uzi stored in a grabable place), you could have put you and your child in danger.

Like I say YANU, but...

flippinada Wed 27-Feb-13 18:46:02

Not unreasonable at all. Don't beat yourself up for not reacting "correctly". Did they fuck off and leave you alone? If so, job done.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 27-Feb-13 19:09:24

It is fucking annoying and patronising.

I once told someone to fuck off when they said it to me - i was depressed at the time.

Betrayedbutsurvived Wed 27-Feb-13 19:12:01

Good, for you. That's my absolute pet hate. How dare some random bloke basically call me a miserable bitch just because I don't walk round with a rictus grin so he can kid himself i fancy him. Tossers!!!

And breathe!!!

70isaLimitNotaTarget Wed 27-Feb-13 19:20:32

Well I'm going to buck the trend here and say Very Unreasonable.

I'll bet every one of you who drinks alcohol in excess of what you should (ie pissed) has done/said something you shouldn't.

"Give us a smile luv" is not "Get your tits out" is it?

Why would you give someone a mouthful of abuse for trying to cheer you up?

Just sneer and walk on. Or "What-ever"

No need for swearing hmm

fortifiedwithtea Wed 27-Feb-13 19:21:24

Enfyshedd flowers I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. That must have been a harrowing experience for you.

flippinada Wed 27-Feb-13 19:22:07

Agree that it's annoying, patronising and sexist. Not to mention bloody rude.

OutsideOverThere Wed 27-Feb-13 19:24:26

70 - I think the problem is we're not sure if the motive is actually to try and cheer us up. It seems like on occasion it's that they feel resentful that we may not look a picture of happy joyful womanhood, and want us to smile for their benefit, not giving a shit whether we're actually happy or not.

That's usually the impression I've got anyway.

OutsideOverThere Wed 27-Feb-13 19:26:04

Also if it is intended to cheer us up. is it really their place to? They are assuming we have no preoccupations worth a ha'penny.

Enfyshedd Wed 27-Feb-13 19:30:14

Hi Fortifiedwithtea -It was a bit. Another friend arrived before I went in so I had the opportunity to duck out, but I sort of felt duty bound as I'd already told the police officer and my friend's son I'd do it (friend was old, but under 70 so not that old). Other friend came in with me for support and I think we were both glad we didn't have to do it alone. Was gutted that I hadn't had a chance to see my friend in the 2 weeks since I'd had my first scan. He was like an uncle to me and 15 months on, he is still very missed by our friends and I and we're sorry that he missed his first grandchild's birth last month.

flippinada Wed 27-Feb-13 19:32:20

It's the assumption that any attention from a man (even an ugly, thick pissed one) is welcome.

It's the expectation that women are decorative objects, there to look pleasing to men and must be reminded of that if they dare to look otherwise.

I could go on in this vein for some time, I warn you! grin

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