Advanced search feel slightly annoyed when people claim to be "living in poverty"

(420 Posts)
ihateconflict Wed 27-Feb-13 16:22:14

...and have huge TVs/smoke/drink/have a holiday abroad each year/wear designer clothes and shoes and handbags, and have all the latest electronic gadgets. In contrast, as a "middle class" (hate this label) professional living in an expensive area, i cant afford any of the above (dont smoke or drink, so dont include those). We havent had any holiday for 5 years, let alone one abroad. AND, when DCs were at school, their friends with EMA allowance were the ones who had driving lessons for their 17th birthday, and cars for their 18th birthday. My DCs had to pay for own driving lessons, and didnt get cars until they finished uni and were earning. I am full of sympathy for those in "genuine" poverty, but somewhere priorities and definitions seem a bit wrong

someoftheabove Wed 27-Feb-13 17:17:45

*on the grounds

JakeBullet Wed 27-Feb-13 17:18:33

Fannys you are right, my best friend has huge debts......and equally huge mental health issues....and it's when she is more ill that she takes on debts. Thankfully at the moment she is blacklisted by everyone including doorstep lenders.because they don't help her mental health issues. She could be the person the OP is describing (minus the holidays) but her life is far from easy sad.

TiffIsKool Wed 27-Feb-13 17:18:51

OP - If apparently well off people want to describe themselves as living in poverty then what is it to you?

Smile to yourself, subtle rolling of the eyes optional. Then move on.

WilsonFrickett Wed 27-Feb-13 17:18:51

cafe I'm sorry to hear about your change in circumstances and glad that you're doing OK. However one of the problems with being on benefits longer-term is that when things break or go wrong, people do get into debt.

Benefits are enough to keep things ticking over (as they should be) but but when the washing machine explodes, or all the DCs need shoes at the same time and you have to buy a new bed because the littlest one is bursting out of their cot, that's when people make 'bad spending choices'.

And OP, you're a GP and you're crowing about not making bad choices? That university education we funded for you, that should have helped you with that, no?

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 17:19:03

You need to break out of the cycle of blame and accusation and do something to help those families that even you might consider need support. Not sure you could refuse to help someone in the grounds that they have a big telly, though!

I work with people with big tellys tbh I do not begrudge anybody a big tv because there lives are pretty grim day to day

MrsDeVere Wed 27-Feb-13 17:19:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glenthebattleostrich Wed 27-Feb-13 17:19:16

There is a huge difference between living in poverty because of circumstances or income and those who are genuinely just shit.

my parents live in a deprived area with high unemployment. One of my mothers friends is constantly complaining that she doesn't get 'paid' enought (benefits). She has 2 kids who are treated like shit and scruffy. She spends her money on fags, cheap booze, whatever is in her bed that week, basically anything but her bills and her kids.

She honestly believes the country owes her a living (the DM would love her!) She uses food banks as often as she can because 'why bother buying food when mugs give her it for free'. She has a social worker who has a massive caseload and is constantly running around after this woman.

Her sister on the other hand is also a single parent. She works part time (the only work she can get) and gets top ups (WTC / CTC / HB). She is on the breadline living from one week to the next and has been known to go without food so her kids have what they need (basics like clothes that fit / shoes).

usualsuspect Wed 27-Feb-13 17:19:34

Funnily enough my DS used his EMA for bus fares. No car buying going on here.

WilsonFrickett Wed 27-Feb-13 17:20:49

Mrs DV that was a great post.

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 17:20:52

Benefits are enough to keep things ticking over (as they should be) but but when the washing machine explodes, or all the DCs need shoes at the same time and you have to buy a new bed because the littlest one is bursting out of their cot, that's when people make 'bad spending choices'.

^ ^ this why i hate these bright house and the like some people have no choice if their washing machine breaks down or a tv breaks because A they never have money up front to buy new or get fixed and B places like currys wont give them 6 months interest free

glenthebattleostrich Wed 27-Feb-13 17:21:40

Sorry, pressed send to soon. My point is, whilst there are cases of genuine poverty and people who need and deserve help (MrsDV and Zookie after reading your threads I think you deserve a hell of a lot more than you get) there are also complete piss takers who just need a kick up the arse.

mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 17:22:13

Charities that give grants for tvs and Ipads should be closed immediately.

bloody waste of money eh hmm

WilsonFrickett Wed 27-Feb-13 17:22:41

I agree MrsJay, I think they are evil organisations preying on the people that don't have access to all the things the OP takes for granted. Like a decent interest rate on her mortgage and a O% credit card.

expatinscotland Wed 27-Feb-13 17:23:14


StephaniePowers Wed 27-Feb-13 17:23:19

I do know a family who describe themselves, tongue-in-cheek, as benefit scum.
They struggle with healthy food and claim not to be able to afford it - surely an indication of poverty. I do appreciate how cheap it is to buy shitty food but it is also related to them not liking most foods and not being able to cook. I am not going to judge that, they can do what they like, but I don't accept that they can't afford it because....

They have so many dvd box sets, so many subscription tv services and computer games and so on that there is literally something new to be shown to me every time I visit. I honestly don't know why they are saying they cannot afford proper food when they have so much else.

Perhaps someone can explain why this happens. I'm as far from labelling people as scroungers etc as can be but this genuinely boggles my mind.

WilsonFrickett Wed 27-Feb-13 17:23:30

Terrible cross post, I meant I agree re Bright House etc, not that charities should be closed down!! blush

MrsDeVere Wed 27-Feb-13 17:24:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JakeBullet Wed 27-Feb-13 17:24:51

Just seen that the OP is a GP shock

...and utterly fucking clueless about why some people on benefits get in to debt.


mrsjay Wed 27-Feb-13 17:25:12

I meant I agree re Bright House etc, not that charities should be closed down!!

its ok nobody thought thats what you meant smile

StephaniePowers Wed 27-Feb-13 17:27:12

One of the most ignorant, unsympathetic, right-wing and downright unpleasant people I've ever met was a GP. "You can't know about these things until you've seen the scum that sits in your waiting room" apparently sad shock angry
(3 homes, 2 cars etc)

StephaniePowers Wed 27-Feb-13 17:28:07

Honour bound to say that all the other GPs I've met have been gorgeous people.

JenaiMorris Wed 27-Feb-13 17:30:37

Just because an area has a reputation for being deprived, it doesn't mean to say that everyone who lives there is poor or doesn't work.

Not everybody chooses to mortgage themselves up to the eyeballs so they can live in a leafy suburb.

JakeBullet Wed 27-Feb-13 17:31:27

I might go as far as to call the OP "entitled"... bet my taxes helped put her through medical school and she is still whining about those who have not been so fortunate in life as to have her intelligence.

HecateWhoopass Wed 27-Feb-13 17:33:15

If you're still around - how many people who have the things you list have actually uttered to you the words "we live in poverty"? Or even "we are so poor, we can't afford to eat" or have otherwise themselves said directly you you that they are living in poverty?

And you can get the stuff you talk about anyway. Brighthouse. Pounds to Pocket. Provident. And then all the payday loans.

few quid a week. have the stuff. get into the trap. sad

I don't honestly think you understand how some people live. You see stuff but you don't understand.

Owllady Wed 27-Feb-13 17:34:20

I am quite appalled the OP is a GP. Surely as a GP you would know that one of the main causes of poverty is illness and disability FFS
God I really hope she isn't really one

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