to wonder if anyone else is driven slightly potty by a constant stream of silly questions from their DH?(177 Posts)
I love him dearly, but dear god!
Small sample from last 24 hours
I was helping DD2 wash her hair in the bath last night, she usually puts a flannel over her eyes as she's a bit funny about water going in her face and I realised there were no flannels in the bathroom
Me (to DH who is wafting around on the landing): can you just chuck me a flannel please?
DH: where are they?
Me: in the airing cupboard
DH: where in the airing cupboard?
It's a small cupboard, just look!
Me walking into the small downstairs loo
DH: where are you going?
Also this morning - DH works from home in an office in the garden. He came in for a tea/loo break just as I was emptying the washing machine
Me: can you just put this in the tumble drier please? (which he'd have to walk right past to get to the loo)
DH: where is it?
In the utility room, next to the toilet where it has been kept for the past 10 years!!!!!
DH: have you seen my car keys
Me: on the hook in the kitchen
DH: what hook?
The same sodding hook that he put up and has been hanging them on every single day for years
I am being lighthearted, he's not a complete dimwit and pulls his weight with the house and kids, but honestly, I sometimes wonder whether he actually lives here
I'm going to nick that one, merlincat
Another DH here only capable of doing a 'man look'. If there is aaaanything within a foot of what he's looking for, it apparently obscures said object from his vision.
I also have to go into ridiculously laborious deails when telling him where things are, ie "It's on the middle shelf of the fridge, on the left, inbetween your ready meal and the cheddar. It might have gone slightly behind the cheddar" and even then he can't see it, ffs. I don't, however, get up and look for him. If he moans that he still can't find whatever it is he's after, I just say "oh well" in a bright tone and ignore his mounting his-teria (which is what I call it when he gets into a man-tizzy). Much amusement to be had from that.
Also, when he asks me what I'm doing when it's patently obvious, I answer with ridiculous replies, usually crude if it's a particularly stupid question, ie "What are you doing?" when I'm making a sandwich will be answered with something like "fucking a donkey".
Please note: replies are moderated in front of DS
And don't get me started on the way that he puts something down, however random or odd a place he might be putting it down in, the milisecond he has finished with it and immediately forgets where he has put it or even that he was the last person to touch it. It took us nearly 30 mins at the weekend to find DS's shoes because he'd gone out with DH and he'd taken them off. First he tried insisting that he had not taken them off DS, despite me not being in at the time and them clearly not being on his feet, then it was somehow my fault for not being able to work out where he would put them (erm, why would they not be on the shoe rack like always?).
They were in the under-stairs cupboard with the Xmas decorations. He still can't explain how that happened
The one that annoys me the most is when he asks me what the password for the laptop is. The password has not changed since it was set up 3 years ago, but it's his choice of password!!
Or when he says to me "is that dirty?" usually refering to the pan i've just been cooking in/the plate i've just finished using which are clearly dirty!
I sometimes have to stop myself from giving very sarcastic answers to his questions
PS Agree that it's not just men - my DM is the worst person for all this than anyone I know. And I thought I had escaped it, aaargh!
oh I have another one that drives me crackers - DH has a habit of trying to hand me stuff while I have my hands full, and rather than notice I have no free hands, will just stand there jiggling the item in front of me while I give him the raised-eyebrow-WTAF-are-you-trying-to-do look. <sigh> It can take a few seconds, OR me saying "Oddly, I haven't grown a 3rd hand recently" before he twigs and then finds somewhere to put said item down (Usually in a very precarious place!)
My DH has a bit of a thing about handing stuff to me rather than nust putting it down
He made a cup of tea earlier and handed me one while I was sorting out some paperwork. I was using my fingers to mark my place in the papers and instead of just putting it down on the table I was sitting at, just stood there until I took it off him. Obviously v grateful for the tea, but why can't he just put it down?
But then he can't find anything when he does put it down, so I guess handing it to me is the lesser of the two evils.
He was building some new cabin beds for the kids on Monday, put the screwdriver down to speak to a friend on the phone, then spent 20 minutes trying to find where the hell he put it
Common question from my DH "Where have you put x?" [some item of his that I have never touched]. After a stabby look from me follows the man look. (I will be using that phrase from now on - perfect.)
He can never find anything to eat in the freezer either. If it is not on top it is not there. I excavated 36 packs (yes really - I counted them) of fishcakes during a defrost recently.
"CoalDust - it's because they "save their thinking for "higher things" " and let us poor women do all the trivial day-to-day thinking for them. Or that's how they'd like it to go."
Do you know, I do think this is true. I feel I struggle sometimes to keep my mind clear because it is full of crap that I need to remember to keep everyone else organised. DH doesn't have this problem.
The other day DP text me 'which drawer is x y z in?'
Which wouldn't be so bad except he is currently living in East Africa and I am living in the UK - how the fuck would I know which drawer it's in?
Is it catching?
I do this in reverse.
2:55 last Thursday, my turn to do shared school run for multiple families -- 'DH, I can't find the caaar keeeeys! Any ideas?'
...which sounds reasonable till you realise that I was at home and had been all day, and he was a good 30 miles away.
It worked though. The enabling bastard pondered for a moment and came up with 'DS would have had his hands free so he probably unlocked the door yesterday. Have you tried down the side of the sofa as that's where he'll have gone to check his Facebook?'
A friend I was out for lunch with one day was impressed by my ability to find my youngest daughter's shoes, via telephone from 15 miles away following a panicked phone call from DH
God this I my dp to a tee not that he has ever noticed its always his stuff that goes missing.
"where's my hammer, I put it On top of kitchen cupboard"
< why the actual fuck did you put hammer there? >
"no idea why would I want your hammer?"
"well ou must have moved it"
Said hammer turns up in kitchen drawer.
My fella is exactly the same. he will open the fridge and say something like 'where is the cheese?' and I think well just open your eyes and move a few things around.
So familiar FairyJen. If he can't find something of his, it must be because I moved it.
Why the hell would I go round the house moving stuff I didn't even know existed?
never tidy up
My dh used to do this but I spent a long hard year refusing to play along with it. Increasingly I felt as if he was using my brain space to manage every tiny mundane aspect of family life.
I'd be there doing several jobs at the same time, 2 children asking me the bleeding obvious when my husband would chip in. Then he would have the audacity to laugh at me for forgetting words because I'd answer oh it's in the ...um...thing...um....one the doors under the stairs....yes the cupboard under the stairs. Oh do fuck off I'd think, sorry my answer wasn't clear and concise. I was engaged in other unrelated activities and thinking of something entirely different when you bombarded me with a random question.
I've explained to my family that I cannot give the GPS location of every item in the house. If they want to know something they should do what they're expecting me to do THINK.
Not only is there the 'man look' but also the 'man search' where if something is not immediately visable, instead of doing what I
any woman would do (put hand into cupboard/drawer/box, maybe move a few items around to find what I'm looking for)
DH will literally take everything out to find what he's looking for. So if it's DDs toy, he'll remove every toy from the box, if it's his razor, he'll take EVERYTHING out of the bathroom cabinet. Drives me potty!
this all sounds so familiar.
DH is also completely unable to identify which clothes/shoes/coats belong to each of our two children. If he puts the washing away, everything is in the wrong person's wardrobe. He put a load of DD1's underwear in my drawer once. I mean, come on, even if my arse was that pert that I could fit into age 4 undies, why would I be wearing primary-coloured knickers with Hello Kitty on them? . So now he asks with every single item of clothing who it belongs to and where it goes <sigh>. Our 19 month old is better at identifying whose clothes are whose.
Then there is the one where you are in a robot-like mechanical panic, doing a thousand things before guests come / you get in the car to go on holiday / whatever, and your brain and eyes and hands are completely full of sandwiches/flasks/sheets/boots/etc, and they come and loom in the doorway and say "what shall I do with this?" and you stop what you are doing and focus on it and identify it as.... a (paid!) water bill... or something. And only then do you think: why could you not have invested a tiny bit more energy in saying "this water bill" instead of "this", thus not STOPPING me from doing this in favour of looking up and thinking about THAT, which, by the way, is not like some sacred water bill that only pertains to me and should probably be kept surrounded by lavender bags in a special drawer that only I know about, and also IS NOTHING TO DO WITH TRYING TO GET AWAY ON FUCKING HOLIDAY! (or whatever)
Hahaha curry, I now imagine a home filled with little loving pomaded drawers each with a special paid bill nestling in it.
my dh has all these delightful traits.. and more!
my favourite is when we are leaving house and just as we are about to go anounces that he just needs a wee/just needs to do this or that.. goes and 'just' does whatever then gets straight into car...
leaving me with toddler, baby in carseat, bags, pram, handbag, whatever else!! its like he expects me to magic it all into car!! every single time!!?!
My dp does the "man look" thing, it drives me insane.
He also repeats every question I ask him eg,
Me - "what do you fancy for tea?"
Dp - "Hmmm, what do I fancy for tea?"
Oh yes, the waiting until we are stood with coats on ready to leave the house, then announcing that he needs a wee, change his shirt, feed the cat etc
celebmum, the one where we nearly broke up(TM) was two years ago on holiday where one too many times we arrived somewhere, he would hop out of the car (only I drive, and I was still night-bfing so he was a lot more spritely than me) take dd1 (2) out of her car seat and stand there holding her expectantly, while I would be expected to get out of the car, go round to the boot, pull out the MASSIVE double pram, put it up, get dd2 (6 mo), put her in it, find all the bags, stuff them in the pram. WHY? The WHY applies to:
why was all this my job while he was happy to stand there holding a CHILD WHO CAN STAND UP as a main "job" (answer: it was a thoughtless thing deriving from the way a division of labour came about with a bfing baby, it just became "curry does the baby, do does the toddler");
WHY didn't I say anything about it before the moment I just sobbed and fell apart?
WHO thought that going on holiday in the UK with ONE person who can drive and ONE person who can breastfeed AND THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON was a good thing?
The 'dad looking' made me laugh, will start using that when Dp 'looks' for something.
Not silly questions but slightly annoying is that I have to respond or comment on everything DH says or he gets really irate as he thinks I am not listening to him!
There's a reason why my MNname is what it is. Although it's in response to DS not DH.
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