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You know when you thought everything was going OK, only to find out it wasn't...?

(68 Posts)
AgentZigzag Tue 26-Feb-13 14:57:50

How do you not let it crush you?

I've been working from home for the last three months after not being in a paid job for 14 years, I had the first feedback from them today and it's not good at all, but I thought it was going alright and I'm struggling to get my head round it.

There have been similar things at other times in my life as well, like I thought a relationship/friendship was going well only to find out I must have misread or misunderstood what I thought were the indicators that everything was fine.

I wonder if I generally just don't 'get it' (whatever 'it' is) and have to accept it's always going to be a mystery and should carry on trying to avoid stuff so I don't get in these situations because it makes me feel like such a failure and I can't cope, especially when I think I might get the boot at work and totally let DH/DDs down.

It would be unreasonable to deal with it in a gin/blubbing heap/self-pity fest way, tempting as it is, at work they're looking at it again in just over a week, how do I carry on working in the meantime?

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Tue 12-Mar-13 23:24:29

Oh - what a bunch of wankers! It's a really really shitty thing they have done. I have no idea how they get away with it angry

I hope that at least they do pay up.


AgentZigzag Mon 11-Mar-13 17:11:01

They are legit, aren't they?

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Mar-13 17:10:03

Have you worked for them?

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Mar-13 17:09:42

Got it in one Thingummy smile

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Mar-13 17:09:00

Thanks for the warning about it being a scam, but honestly, it's totally, 100% legit.

By way of credentials, there are few threads about it on Money Saving Expert with posters almost slavering about wanting to work there grin

I've read about it on other forums too and never seen anything untoward said about them (apart from the reality of how they work, a risk I accepted willingly), if there was something dodgy someone's bound to have written about it.

I've been paid for the first month I worked and am due to be paid tomorrow/Weds (both a fair whack) and they've asked me to update my timesheet. They'll then owe me for another two months, I'm an incredibly suspicious person but I trust them to pay me (famous last words grin I'll be back in a month complaining they haven't coughed up grin)

ThingummyBob Mon 11-Mar-13 17:04:36

Was it LB AgentZigZag?

If so, don't take it personally. They are getting rid of people all over the place atm confused

ukatlast Mon 11-Mar-13 16:59:14

QUOTE' OP please tell us what this job is.
There are a lot of home-working scams about and I hope you have not been caught up in one.'

What this poster said above....the scams work by rejecting your work and so not having to pay you.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Mon 11-Mar-13 16:53:33

Probably not then Agent but sounded so familiar from a job I got from here last year, flattened my confidence totally at the time especially as they re-advertised with a different title within days of telling me they couldnt carry on using me for blah blah reason.

Its crap when it happens though, sympathies.

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Mar-13 16:48:29

I don't know whether it's been advertised on here Dreams, they're pretty well known though.

I'd jigged everything at home to fit it in so it's going to be a bit of a head fuck remembering I don't have to think about it again.

Some of it I won't be fussed about never thinking of again, but other bits were really interesting.

I love Eddie Chapman Cailin, an amazing book and man smile

<chins up>

Buzzardbird Mon 11-Mar-13 16:34:55

It sounds a little suspect, letting someone go without them really having any idea why?

Maybe they do this every 3 months?

Chin up Agent, you have proved that you can get back in work after a long while off, you will do it again.

DreamsTurnToGoldDust Mon 11-Mar-13 16:32:30

Agent, can i ask if you dont mind, did you get this job that was advertised on here only what your`ve said sounds v v familiar.

I`m sorry though it stinks when it happens. x

Cailinsalach Mon 11-Mar-13 16:12:00

Oh shit shit shit, how utterly shit. And you still don't know what it was they found unacceptable? This makes me think that perhaps you were a victim of their financial constraints. Perhaps they had to make cutbacks and you were an easy target, LIFO.
(Incidentally, I have just read a book about you, did you know you were a double agent working for department 20 in the second world war?)

Oblomov Mon 11-Mar-13 15:53:11

I have every sympathy. This happens to me aswell, the totally not 'getting it'.
But please do not worry, think about all the fab things in your life,and remember that no matter how bad a thing feels, in a year, of 5 or so, its will be so very insignificant, you will wonder why you got so het up about it.
Take care.

Smartiepants79 Mon 11-Mar-13 15:38:19

That's really crap.
Don't know about the legalities but you are entitled to a proper answer about why they have let you go.

AgentZigzag Mon 11-Mar-13 14:54:58


They've given me the push.

I'm trying not to take it personally and to start thinking about the practicalities of getting something else to pull in the cash.

They've still not said what it was I was doing that was wrong, which is a bit confusing, maybe because I had to be self-employed to do it lets them do things differently? Who knows?

I'm going to really miss it.

AgentZigzag Wed 06-Mar-13 15:04:03

You're very kind Herrena, thank you smile

Still no feedback, but I have had an email from them and the person writing couldn't see any action being taken on my account so that was a good sign, it's possible they could take further action if I don't improve but there's nothing going on as yet smile

Stay of execution grin

I think they haven't given me specific feedback because I'm relatively new and they're waiting to reassess me again to see if I can improve before setting it in stone. A kind of readjustment period to see whether I can fall in line.

The main thing is that I've got to get my head round the possibility of not having a job at some point, and why should I be any different to anyone else in paid work? Especially these days when nobodys job's safe. It's a bit of a millstone round your neck but hopefully I can learn to ignore it a bit <yeah right>

HerrenaHarridan Wed 27-Feb-13 17:40:14

I don't think monkey was being too nice. You've given me some excellent advice and much needed support before ( under a different name)

Glad your over the shock and getting your head round it all.

AgentZigzag Wed 27-Feb-13 17:28:52

I'm taking on board what you're saying, them being distant is good in that I haven't got someone breathing down my neck, but it does make it difficult to judge what they're thinking, especially if some of it conflicts with other bits.

If it was someone saying it to me in RL Eldritch, I would probably argue the toss a bit more and not crumple in a heap like I did yesterday, but the amount of money coming into the house wouldn't depend on whether they were right or not. I'd love to just say 'Yeah? Fucking prove it' grin

Even thought I'd tried to prepare myself for it I was surprised there was such a physical reaction to the email, went really hot, then really cold, I was probably a bit out of it the rest of the day because of the adrenaline rush I had. Horrible.

sazpops Wed 27-Feb-13 16:55:18

This sounds a horrid situation, and leaving it 3 months to give you any feedback seems ridiculous - so all that while you were merrily doing your job, thinking all was well, when a little intervention earlier on could have prevented this bombshell.

I hope you get some response to your email so at least you can decide if you think the feedback is at all justified and if there's anything you can do about it . Otherwise, hang on in there and listen to all the wise people here who've said it's not you, it's them.

EldritchCleavage Wed 27-Feb-13 15:50:50

Sorry to hear about this.

Do bear in mind it may just be the person you are dealing with is just rubbish at this. My little sister is now a high-up and one of her great on-going managerial problems is how bad some of her team members are at appraisals and feedback. She has recently spent a lot of time having to sort out issues caused by exactly the kind of thing you're experiencing ("It's not good enough-no, I haven't got the time/guts/insight to tell you why, just get on with it" etc).

So while it is important to be able to take criticism, please don't take all of this on yourself unless and until someone comes along with a very well-argued and reasonable account of why you should.

foofooyeah Wed 27-Feb-13 15:42:30

Hi there, I was going to say try to turn this to your advantage by asking for a mentor and a detailed improvement plan ie: certain key things they want to see you achieve - that would take away any ambiguity and make you able to focus on what they think you need to improve on - but given your work situation it sounds like they would not be forthcoming with this sort of plan.

Very hard to do but try not to take it too personally - they are probably just looking at stats and figures and not seeing the person behind them.

Glad you are feeling a bit better today.

dothraki Wed 27-Feb-13 15:33:59

Well done AgentZigzag - if they had major concerns they would be letting you know quickly, now you can get back to work (and we'll shout if your on here toomuch when you should be workingsmile)

AgentZigzag Wed 27-Feb-13 14:40:24

Hi MyHead, not doing to badly today thanks smile (and thanks for the far too generous post monkeym blush) I've got on and done some work, which is what I was most worried about doing. I just did what I normally do and ignored the shitty bits and concentrated on trying to do the best work I can grin

I won't ignore the feedback, and there are some things I can look at again to try and improve (once they tell me which bits they're talking about), but I'll ignore the possible impending boot until it comes.

I have to do between a minimum and maximum of hours a week, and can fit them in whenever they're available, which means I can do all the things I'd normally do, very handy.

I've not heard back from the email I sent and the feedback still isn't there, but there isn't anything I can do but try and get the hours in, if my work is that crap it's up to them to stop me doing it!

Well done on the job Clipped, 15 years goes past in the blink of an eye doesn't it? shock I'm sure you don't look a twit at all.

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Wed 27-Feb-13 10:07:37

How are you doing this morning? Do you work everyday?

It is great that your DH has said that, it takes the pressure off you a bit doesn't it.

I'd still like to kick them for being such bastards - that is SO unprofessional & shit of them.

Still, keep your chin up and hang in there!

Cherriesarelovely Tue 26-Feb-13 22:36:22

I really feel for you. Even a bit of poor feedback can be so upsetting and undermining, I am hugely over sensitive to criticism so know what you mean about it really getting to you. You are right though, they have kept you on and hopefully they will give you more specific feedback soon. Very unfair not to give you anything constructive to work on. Well done for keeping it together.

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