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To invite just my mother out for lunch on Mothers' Day?

(32 Posts)
OhWesternWind Tue 26-Feb-13 12:38:26

I've arranged to take my mum out to lunch on Mother's Day, and my two children will be coming as well as they want to be with me on Mothers' Day. This is the first time I'll have done this as we used to live away and didn't tend to see my mum on Mothers' Day as she used to spend it with my late grandma.

Now my mum has asked if her partner can come along too and is cross with me for not inviting him in the first place. I don't really want him to come because

a) I really can't afford to pay for him and he always, always orders the most expensive things on the menu if he's not paying, which he rarely is. However, my mum has said she will pay for him so he can come;

b) I wanted to do something with just our family, and he has made it clear that he doesn't see himself as part of the family, doesn't want the children to call him grandpa etc etc (he decided this after about six years of them calling him that, so it's kind of stuck, but that's the sort of man he is), doesn't come to their birthday parties, doesn't do cards or presents etc (although we do for him);

c) he is grumpy and antisocial and won't talk to us. My mum brought him along on my birthday meal and he didn't say two words, let alone happy birthday. He was in my house yesterday and didn't even say hello.

I will probably end up having him along just to make life easier and avoid an argument with my mum, but I feel the niceness has gone from this occasion and I don't really want to do it now. AIBU to just want a meal with my mother on Mothers' Day?

OhWesternWind Tue 26-Feb-13 18:35:58

Well, apparently he doesn't want to come now anyway.

I asked my mum if she'd rather do something else but she heaved a big sigh and said no, seeing as I'd organised the meal then that's what we'd do.

Feel a bit sad and fed up. Can't cancel now and if we go ahead it will be sulks and sighs and muttering. Why does it all have to be so difficult?

Bogeyface Tue 26-Feb-13 18:37:18

Can I be honest? Next year I really wouldnt bother, and I would be asking myself if the child care was worth it too.

diddl Tue 26-Feb-13 19:30:03

That's really sad.

She sounds so ungrateful.

I can't believe a grown woman making a fuss about a couple of hours away from her OH.

If she ruins it by going on about him, I'd walk out & leave her with the bill!

saulaboutme Tue 26-Feb-13 20:02:17

from experience I would say a flat no, it's MOTHERS day! Ffs.
He is manipulative and rude.
fuck him and be strong. Stick to your guns. It sounds like your mum hasn't got the guts to say no but you should.
Good luck. He's and arsehole.

saulaboutme Tue 26-Feb-13 20:05:07

Just caught your post. It's sad. I hope your mum realises what a cunt he is for spoiling mothers day. Enjoy with your dcs x

Emilythornesbff Wed 27-Feb-13 07:11:24

sad wine

teaforthree Wed 27-Feb-13 09:24:20

I would say "oh let's just leave it and do something another time" then go for a meal with the DC and maybe a friend and her DC. Less pandering and you won't feel like you're the one in the wrong!

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