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To go on holiday and NOT take DD?

(129 Posts)
akaWisey Sun 24-Feb-13 17:16:08

I haven't had a holiday for 6 years. I haven't had a holiday without DC's for even longer. I haven't EVER had a holiday with a RL friend.

I'm 53 and divorced for 2 years. I had to sell the family home to enable ext to fund a private 6th form course that my DD and her DF arranged between themselves. I now live in a rented house and I have equity for another house if I can raise a mortgage (at my age, WTAF). I am saving towards that too. I work very hard F/T and always have done.

My friend says it's been a long hard slog for me and she wants us to book a holiday in Zanzibar for later this year. It looks fab. I want to go. But I think my DD will be angry and upset that 1. I'm not taking her as well (despite her preferring to spend all her spare time with her partner and/or friend) 2. I have said I can't afford to pay insurance on a car she wants to buy.

So AIBU if I just book this holiday? Or am I selfish?

milkymocha Sun 24-Feb-13 23:10:47

Its time to be YOU not dd's mum!
You have devoted nearly 18 years of your life to put her first. Go on your holiday, laugh lots and bask in your freedom!

I say this as a 20 year old whis mother abadoned her at 12. You need to think about yourself!

anonymosity Sun 24-Feb-13 23:17:33

I say go on holiday, but maybe not Zanzibar as I think its deemed unsafe currently esp for women traveling alone / together (could be wrong though).

Hissy Sun 24-Feb-13 23:31:17

Wisey, you have been so utterly selfless in your relationships, you have asked for and got NOTHING in return for your efforts. You gave up your home, your stability. You were betrayed by your H and then by your H again with the collusion of your DD. And still the pressure and control continues.

As some on here will tell you, they have had abusive relationships with men in their lives, only to get rid of them and have the Position Vacant taken by the DC. This has to be the hardest thing to bear. We can't divorce our DC, no matter what they do to us, but we DON'T give them power over us, not like this.

You have to put yourself first sometimes. If you do not put yourself on the list of priorities, no-body else will.

This is your life, and what has happened to you is WRONG.

You CAN'T turn the clock back, but you CAN reset it from now on.

AnyFucker Sun 24-Feb-13 23:58:50

MZ so it did smile

There has been wine

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