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to expect the changing room to be given up for me?

(92 Posts)
alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 16:26:02

I took DD's aged 5 yrs and 8 months swimming today. Our pool has 3 big changing rooms which have the blue changing tables for babies, about 20 cubicles that fit 2/3 people in and about 20 individual sized ones. I was drying DD's hair under the hand dryer directly in front of the big changing rooms after swimming waiting for one to become free. When it did I told DD to take her bag in there while I picked up the rest of our stuff. A single man stepped in front of her as she got to the door and shut it in her face, narrowly missing her fingers. I knocked on the door and asked if he had any children joining him, when he said no I asked if he'd mind moving to a different cubicle - of which there were plenty available - so I could use the large room to change with kids. He said no so I said that's what the rooms are there for, he said 'show me the sign that says so' which point I said 'you shouldn't need a sign to tell you to have some common decency and let two small cold children get dressed, particularly after you just slammed a door in ones face and almost trapped her fingers.' He just shrugged, said 'she looks fine to me' and closed the door before shouting 'and don't knock on the door again, it's very rude!' I'm hoping you'll agree he was a complete dick, but was it unreasonable of me to knock in the first place?

drmummmsy Mon 25-Feb-13 20:50:14

grr it's a pet hate of mine when adults disregard children in a queue for something...

PurpleBlossom Mon 25-Feb-13 20:46:51

LOL at the man maybe having claustrophobia and therefore needing the bigger changing room!


Emilythornesbff Mon 25-Feb-13 09:13:58

Yanbu?sorry he was behaving like an arse.
Well done for being assertive.

MrsMelons Mon 25-Feb-13 08:13:50

YABU to 'expect a changing room to be given up for you' and YABU to be so rude HOWEVER I do not get the MN attitude around facilities provided to make life a bit easier with kids when have bene swimming or anything else for that matter.

It is quite difficult getting 2 DCs ready after swimming especially if one is a non-walking baby so the OP should have been able to use the changing room but I would imagine the man did not realise as she was not actually there waiting as such and as she was rude to him he probably thought why should he move!

SavoyCabbage Mon 25-Feb-13 00:45:16

I agree with RedSky. He probably didn't know you had any interest in the changing room as you were drying your dds hair and if he might not know that there are only a few big changing rooms.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 25-Feb-13 00:37:07

Yanbu but that's because he que jumped by going past your dd and shutting the door in her face

janji Mon 25-Feb-13 00:23:56

This is why rude and ill mannered people get away with their behaviour; too many people see people who raise objections to unacceptable behaviour as entitled. If no one stands up for themselves the entitled ones are the idiots choosing to use a cubicle obviously mean for a parent with small children for themselves.

TheBookofRuth Mon 25-Feb-13 00:05:16

I would have stood outside repeatedly knocking on the door whilst singing "this man has a tiny knob", and encouraging my DCs to join in, or at least to cry at the top of their little lungs.

What's up with all the "just wait for another cubicle" crap?! How utterly spineless - stand up for yourselves people!

ElliesWellies Sun 24-Feb-13 23:57:50

You should have asked him why he particularly needed one with a changing table. Did he need to change his nappy? Sorry, that is very childish, but it would have made me feel better to say it!


midastouch Sun 24-Feb-13 23:11:13

In my swimming pool the larger rooms have signs on them saying family changing, he was very rude YANBU how did he think you were going to change an 8 month old in a single changing room, or were your DDs supposed to stand getting cold, horrible man!

MidniteScribbler Sun 24-Feb-13 23:10:00

That was yesterday Midnitescribbler snort...

My bad. Hard to keep all the fuckwits in her life straight.

MeDented Sun 24-Feb-13 23:09:11

To be fair o don't know his situation either. Not all disabilities are visible. He may have claustrophobia or an other reason that means he also needs more PAC to get changed that he didn't want to disclose to a stranger.

AnnieLobeseder Sun 24-Feb-13 23:07:25

He was a prize wankstain, sadly the world is full of them. You and your children won't even have remotely entered his mind since the incident, while you are still (quite rightly) fuming. This is what makes wankstains even more annoying. They piss you off at the time and they piss you off for days afterwards while they carry on their happy wankstainly lives. Grrrrrrr!!

Because of this great imbalance in universal karma, I do try not to let wankstains bother me and be more zen about this type of encounter. I tell myself they are not worth the stress and remind myself that they are not wasting any mental energy on me.

But dear lord it's hard!!

aldiwhore Sun 24-Feb-13 23:06:52

That was yesterday Midnitescribbler snort...

MidniteScribbler Sun 24-Feb-13 23:01:04

Couldn't you have used the changing room your partner was hiding in whilst trying to avoid seeing his own children?

xigris Sun 24-Feb-13 22:59:58

YANBU. Total wanker. Reminds me of the time I had to park bloody miles from the entrance to tesco in the pouring rain as the one free parent and child spaces was taken from under my nose (bonnet?) by a bloke driving a van with NO child in it. It was december and I was with my toddler and 3 week old DS2. Utter tosser to my mind! BTW, this was 3 years ago, not that I'm bitter or anything!

fluffypillow Sun 24-Feb-13 22:56:20

What an arsehole. YANBU.

alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 22:48:38

There was a family coming out of the changing room in question and I said to DD to take her bag in as soon as the door opened. She was politely waiting by door for all of the previous family to leave, the twerp walked straight in from reception whereas we'd been waiting a few minutes.

BrainDeadMama Sun 24-Feb-13 19:05:29

Aaaagh I hate the MN phrase 'entitled' so much. What does it actually mean? Can somone please explain it to me? Entitled to be treated with courtesy? Entitled to some recognition that people with small children have particular needs? Entitled to live in a society where people don't just think of themselves?

Anyway, rant over. YANBU OP.

redskyatnight Sun 24-Feb-13 18:45:19

If you were drying your DD's hair, he probably didn't realise you were standing there waiting for a changing room - just that you were standing there because that's the hair dryer was. TBH if you spotted a changing room come free and you had to stop drying DD's hair, get her to pick up her bag and explain to her to go into the changing room (whilst presumably juggling the baby and other swimming bags) you were probably not that quick going towards it. I doubt a 5 year old would have been that decisive in going towards the room either (she would be looking back for you) and I can well believe that the man didn't realise that is what she was doing.

If he was a man without children and the changing room are not labelled as family ones, I also doubt that he was aware that there was a limited supply of ones where it was more convenient to change a baby. He probably thought you were a total loon banging on the door and demanding to be let in.

riskit4abiskit Sun 24-Feb-13 18:40:08


Good on you for challenging him, bet he will think twice before doing it again. Cannot believe when challenged he did not go to another cubicle.

MajaBiene Sun 24-Feb-13 18:30:20

Why does it matter how long he had been waiting? He didn't need a baby changing table and the OP did. He could have easily used another cubicle, she couldn't.

Suzieismyname Sun 24-Feb-13 18:23:44

yanbu, ask the pool to put some proper signs up so it won't happen again!

TidyDancer Sun 24-Feb-13 18:13:30

Actually that's a good point, Clouds. OP, how long had you both been in there?

CloudsAndTrees Sun 24-Feb-13 18:08:57

Had he been waiting longer than you?

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