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to expect the changing room to be given up for me?

(92 Posts)
alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 16:26:02

I took DD's aged 5 yrs and 8 months swimming today. Our pool has 3 big changing rooms which have the blue changing tables for babies, about 20 cubicles that fit 2/3 people in and about 20 individual sized ones. I was drying DD's hair under the hand dryer directly in front of the big changing rooms after swimming waiting for one to become free. When it did I told DD to take her bag in there while I picked up the rest of our stuff. A single man stepped in front of her as she got to the door and shut it in her face, narrowly missing her fingers. I knocked on the door and asked if he had any children joining him, when he said no I asked if he'd mind moving to a different cubicle - of which there were plenty available - so I could use the large room to change with kids. He said no so I said that's what the rooms are there for, he said 'show me the sign that says so' which point I said 'you shouldn't need a sign to tell you to have some common decency and let two small cold children get dressed, particularly after you just slammed a door in ones face and almost trapped her fingers.' He just shrugged, said 'she looks fine to me' and closed the door before shouting 'and don't knock on the door again, it's very rude!' I'm hoping you'll agree he was a complete dick, but was it unreasonable of me to knock in the first place?

ExitPursuedByABear Sun 24-Feb-13 16:50:14

Ignorant Git.

You did right to knock. I would have been cross, but then I loathe swimming pool changing rooms and am usually cross when I am in them.

comedycentral Sun 24-Feb-13 16:50:29

You are right, he was an absolute twat. I do think they should label the cubicle though.

libertyflip Sun 24-Feb-13 16:51:02

Where was the baby when you were drying your daughters hair under the dryer?

alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 16:51:10

She was close enough to have her fingers on the door frame, therefore he could not possibly have not seen her.

fluckered Sun 24-Feb-13 16:54:25

never too early for wine. he was an arsehole but tbh i would have been more concerned over getting my kids dry than standing there arguing with him. yanbu to be well pissed off over it though.

alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 16:55:39

I was holding my baby wrapped in her towel. I wasn't 'leaving them to get even colder' while I argued either as someone said, the next sized cubicles are rectangular and though we might just fit it'd be impossible to get baby dressed on narrow bench.

beatlegirl Sun 24-Feb-13 16:56:47

Matildaduck, do you have a 5 year old? (Or a 4 year old, as that's the age you start wearing school uniform.)

They often do need a bit of help, it's not always as simple as shoving them in a cubicle and letting them get on with it.

I really hate it when parents of little ones treat any child past toddler age as though they are mini adults who need no special consideration at all.

alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 16:57:51

Agreed about labelling the cubicles, I filled in a comment slip and spoke to receptionist to suggest it.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 24-Feb-13 16:58:59

Mmmm, if he hadn't stepped in front of your dd and shut the door in her face I'd have said yabu and just need to wait for a bigger cubicle to be free.

However he may not have seen it the way you did. He may just believe that he got there first. It depends really whether he saw your dd and purposefully stepped in front of her which is the impression you give in your op.

But if he was just there first then yabu.

MajaBiene Sun 24-Feb-13 17:01:50

Even if he did get to the cubicle with the baby change in it first, what normal person would refuse to give it up to a mother with children?

VivaLeBeaver Sun 24-Feb-13 17:02:09

However he was still been a twat. Most people even if they'd got there first if they'd been asked nicely if they really needed the baby changing cubicle would have left it. I would have.....though I don't think I'd ask someone to leave it.

When dd was a baby there weren't flip down baby changing stations and I managed changing her on a bench so it can be done but I agree its not nearly as easy. Especially with another dc as well.

alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 17:14:35

Agreed that it may be possible to change her (with difficulty) on the bench but then there's still nowhere to put her while I get changed. Floor is filthy and she's trying to cruise and crawl so wouldn't sit still and would likely bump head on hard floor.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 24-Feb-13 17:16:08

This is why I hardly ever took dd swimming when she was little. The manky changing rooms.

TidyDancer Sun 24-Feb-13 17:22:48

I'm still not convinced from your description that he would've necessarily realised what your DD was doing. Children have a habit of dancing about in changing rooms, he could well have just assumed that.

If that is the case, then I could understand him thinking you were being a bit rude to knock on the door, and you thinking he was rude to take the changing room. All based on misunderstandings.

FutTheShuckUp Sun 24-Feb-13 17:35:23

Was he Mr Bean?

WhatKindofFool Sun 24-Feb-13 17:42:55

You should've grabbed his shoes from under the door and thrown them in the pool. grin

UANBU. Some people are lacking in social awareness and decency. You don't need a sign to explain that a large cubicle with a changing table in it is for families.

PurpleBlossom Sun 24-Feb-13 17:43:39

This winds me up every time we take DD (4 months) swimming. At our local pool there are only 3 cubicles with baby changing. Why, oh why do people without small children need to use them?! Makes no sense at all, it's just selfish.

It's not too bad before you swim but after when I'm clutching a cold, wet baby I tend to get a bit pissed off at people who no common sense.

CloudsAndTrees Sun 24-Feb-13 18:08:57

Had he been waiting longer than you?

TidyDancer Sun 24-Feb-13 18:13:30

Actually that's a good point, Clouds. OP, how long had you both been in there?

Suzieismyname Sun 24-Feb-13 18:23:44

yanbu, ask the pool to put some proper signs up so it won't happen again!

MajaBiene Sun 24-Feb-13 18:30:20

Why does it matter how long he had been waiting? He didn't need a baby changing table and the OP did. He could have easily used another cubicle, she couldn't.

riskit4abiskit Sun 24-Feb-13 18:40:08


Good on you for challenging him, bet he will think twice before doing it again. Cannot believe when challenged he did not go to another cubicle.

redskyatnight Sun 24-Feb-13 18:45:19

If you were drying your DD's hair, he probably didn't realise you were standing there waiting for a changing room - just that you were standing there because that's the hair dryer was. TBH if you spotted a changing room come free and you had to stop drying DD's hair, get her to pick up her bag and explain to her to go into the changing room (whilst presumably juggling the baby and other swimming bags) you were probably not that quick going towards it. I doubt a 5 year old would have been that decisive in going towards the room either (she would be looking back for you) and I can well believe that the man didn't realise that is what she was doing.

If he was a man without children and the changing room are not labelled as family ones, I also doubt that he was aware that there was a limited supply of ones where it was more convenient to change a baby. He probably thought you were a total loon banging on the door and demanding to be let in.

BrainDeadMama Sun 24-Feb-13 19:05:29

Aaaagh I hate the MN phrase 'entitled' so much. What does it actually mean? Can somone please explain it to me? Entitled to be treated with courtesy? Entitled to some recognition that people with small children have particular needs? Entitled to live in a society where people don't just think of themselves?

Anyway, rant over. YANBU OP.

alisunshine29 Sun 24-Feb-13 22:48:38

There was a family coming out of the changing room in question and I said to DD to take her bag in as soon as the door opened. She was politely waiting by door for all of the previous family to leave, the twerp walked straight in from reception whereas we'd been waiting a few minutes.

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