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To announce he's going out to watch rugby tomorrow isn't very nice

(124 Posts)
1991all Sat 23-Feb-13 17:38:37

maybe he should ask

I've lost perspective here, but I don't think it's very caring or thoughtful

MammaTJ Sat 23-Feb-13 17:40:21

My DP announced this afternoon he was going to go and watch his mates play football. I told him he could go once he had washed the dishes if he also took the DC with him.

I made a start on tidying our bedroom and enjoyed the peace.

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 17:40:58


SkinnybitchWannabe Sat 23-Feb-13 17:41:31

I wouldn't ask my dh for permission to go/do anything and I wouldn't expect him to ask for mine.

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 17:42:15

oh this is an adult partner we are taalking about? i thought it was a child. otherwise why would he need to ask if he could go and watch rugby? confused

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:42:54

Assume you have DC's?

Are you a SAHM?

How often does he go out without the family?

Personally, i like to be asked, or for things to be run by me, in a sort of "i'm planning to do this, that Ok with you", just as i wouldmif it were the otherbway round.

sausagesandwich34 Sat 23-Feb-13 17:43:04

you expect him to ask permission?


unless there is some mitiagting reason why he should stay at home with you which you may or may not drip feed further along the thread

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:43:35

You get the gist....

ShatnersBassoon Sat 23-Feb-13 17:44:25

Do you ask permission to do things?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:46:33

This topic divided MN. There will be accusations of controllingness......

Personally, i think anything that results in m plans having to be modified, or an assumption made about me being available to look after our children does seem a bit rude, if it is announced last minute

FreyaFridays Sat 23-Feb-13 17:47:29

Can't really understand couples who feel the need to demand "permission" from one another to do things. But then, I don't have DCs, maybe it's different. Although, I know couples without DCs who are still like that...

goldenlula Sat 23-Feb-13 17:47:54

I don't think permission needs to be sort, but if you have children, one partner 'announcing' that they are going to watch rugby or whatever is in effect stating 'you will be looking after the children'. For this reason, a conversation should take place in the way of , do we have plans for tomorrow, I thought I might go and watch the rugby ect, rather than oh by the way I am going out tomorrow.

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 17:48:44

jamie we dont even know yet who 'he' is in relation to OP or whether there are children, never mind how/when it was 'announced' (or did he just say in a normal manner?).

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sat 23-Feb-13 17:49:09

If you have children one of you cannot expect just to take off without consulting the other, that's not fair in my book. It would be fairer to 'run it by' the other person first to check they're ok with looking after the kids.

I agree with the OP, it's not very caring or thoughtful. Nothing to do with asking permission.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:49:18

To me, itmis more subtle that asking permission. It's more like letting the other person know ahead of time and making sure they have no competing plans. Communicating.

LindyHemming Sat 23-Feb-13 17:49:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 17:50:18

"we dont even know yet who 'he' is in relation to OP "

what i mean is we dont know if it's a boyfriend she met 2 weeks ago, a husband or a partner who lives in france.

MrsKeithRichards Sat 23-Feb-13 17:50:36

Asking no. Running by yes.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:50:44


Imknow. I asked upthread.admit i am assuming. Myncomments above relate to me, really.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:51:02

Bloody ipad

Booyhoo Sat 23-Feb-13 17:51:47

sought not sort.

squeakytoy Sat 23-Feb-13 17:51:59


ShatnersBassoon Sat 23-Feb-13 17:52:07

I think the assumption is that you can say if it's impossible or inconvenient when your partner states their intentions. He didn't say "I'm going out to watch rugby tomorrow, and nothing you say will stop me" did he?

Pagwatch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:52:37

If the op is Mrs Inversale she is being unreasonable.

Pagwatch Sat 23-Feb-13 17:53:19


<rolls eyes >

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