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AIBU to expect my 16yod not to destroy bathroom with hair dye?

(63 Posts)
Iftheresamurderdontlookatme Tue 19-Feb-13 08:20:40

This isn't just once it's several times and she's been talked to, shouted at and virtually thrown out for her destruction and lack of respect to property, she is lucky to have her own bathroom, over the years there's been all sorts of mess and just before we put house up for sale we replaced her broken bath panel and put new flooring down and decorated, looked great, she has now stained the wall, the white work top and the white flooring with f***ing pink hair dye in vast quantities, we have just sold house and survey done last week (pre hair dye incident), I can't leave it like this for new people and will have to replace the lot.
We are bloody furious. How many times do you have to tell the little f***ers before they get it?

MrsLouisTheroux Tue 19-Feb-13 18:41:56

You are right to be annoyed but you sound hysterical OP.

fanoftheinvisibleman Tue 19-Feb-13 15:54:17

Unless there is variations in the way different colours react Nagoo. But I use the purple Directions dye and have got it off various things from tiles and grouting, my enamel bath (I know bleach is not good for enamel but bath was done for anyway if left purple!), lino and my wooden toilet seat using neat bleach and a good scrub. I have had it in various places at different times and there isn't even slight staining now.

bottleofbeer Tue 19-Feb-13 14:00:22

Spray bleach gets rid of it, dead easy.

KurriKurri Tue 19-Feb-13 13:19:10

I would offer to dye her hair for her, - my DS used to dye his at 16, if I hadn't lent a hand, it would have been all over the shop. hell - I get hair dye everywhere when I use it on my own- it's bloody awful stuff for going where you don't want it too, - my friend and I do each others now, - it's a two woman job IMO.

YANBU for being cross at the results of her hair dying attempt,, YABU to be so incredibly angry at your DD, "she's totally fucking up her life in all areas" - it's not really about the hair dye then is it? Sixteen year olds do make mistakes in their lives, - better to make them at 16 and learn from them than make them when they are older.

Nagoo Tue 19-Feb-13 13:02:52

The pink directions dye won't bleach out/ scrub off IME. My sealant was stained forever until I ripped it out. It's not the same as most shop dyes, it stains the follicle in a different way.

When I was her age I actually used to sit in the bath to do it, was just cleaner that way. I wedged a big mirror behind the taps.

I CBA with those colours now, it's too much mess, and stains every time you wash your hair.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 19-Feb-13 12:46:25


As some of you may have noticed, we've deleted the post in which the OP uses the word 'retarded' in a derogatory way. We've been in touch with the OP to explain our policy on disablist language.

We haven't deleted all the instances of the use of this word, because many of the posts containing it are challenging the OP's choice of language, which we think is a useful discussion to have.

However, we'd be grateful if posters could refrain from using the word carelessly in follow-up posts. It's a fine line between discussing why the term isn't acceptable, and just deploying it in a way that compounds the original offence. We don't want to leave the thread looking like Swiss cheese with multiple deletions, but we do need everyone to stick to our Guidelines on disablist language.


Feminine Tue 19-Feb-13 12:31:18

I'd be more concerned with the constant use of chemicals on her head.

Hair dye, even if you don't have allergies, is pretty toxic stuff!

Lottikins Tue 19-Feb-13 12:27:38

What is going to happen on Monday when she rocks up at school with pink hair?

Greenkit Tue 19-Feb-13 12:18:57

I have a 16yr old but always dye her hair for her

The lastest this weekend was black, highlighted ends, which were then dyed blue shock

WhatsTheBuzz Tue 19-Feb-13 12:15:01

I think when it happens repeatedly, it is thoughtless at best. My parents
said some vile stuff to me when I was a bratty teenager because they
were angry and frustrated, they didn't mean it (I hope).

wannabedomesticgoddess Tue 19-Feb-13 12:12:38

Its not stupid anything.

Its thoughtless, a bit clumsy. But not stupid or retarded.

dikkertjedap Tue 19-Feb-13 12:09:08

You don't seem to like your daughter, your daughter probably doesn't like you.

There is no mutual respect.

I don't think this is about hair dye, this is about the breakdown in your relationship with your daughter.

I think you need to seek help to try to repair it before it is beyond repair.

starsandunicorns Tue 19-Feb-13 12:04:48

I m 40 sitting here with dye on i always have a splat here and there both of my dds dye they hair

i brought special towels for them from asda a large for the floor and and another for their shoulders when they came out of the bathroom

i nipped in and cleaned it up with younger dd i used to watch her and clean spillages when they happened both are good at it now.

I never shouted at them if they spilled some.

Dd1 never used the gloves untill i got some from the pertol station they were the proper sort not like in the dye packets.

YouTheCat Tue 19-Feb-13 11:59:31

It's annoying behaviour. It is disrespectful behaviour. Her dd showed a lack of thought.

Not necessarily stupid though.

WhatsTheBuzz Tue 19-Feb-13 11:58:05

but it IS stupid behaviour!

YouTheCat Tue 19-Feb-13 11:54:12

Never used the word 'retarded'. Never called my kids 'stupid'.

wannabedomesticgoddess Tue 19-Feb-13 11:52:26

I have never been nasty about my own children no...

WhatsTheBuzz Tue 19-Feb-13 11:51:23

with holly though obviously, it is no longer an acceptable term...
also find it hard to believe that all posters who have flamed op have
NEVER been less than perfectly pleasant about at least one person in
their lives - laughable!

wannabedomesticgoddess Tue 19-Feb-13 10:26:55

You cannot expect your 16 year old to respect you when its clear you dont respect her.

I suggest you catch a grip because if you continue like this you wont have to worry about her using the bathroom at all. She will be gone.

QuickLookBusy Tue 19-Feb-13 10:16:20

Holly of course we are all allowed to vent on here. That doesn't give you the excuse to use disgusting terms.

And if for whatever reason, you've been locked in a cupboard for years and don't realise the term retard is offensive, then posters have every right to point out how inappropriate it is.

livinginwonderland Tue 19-Feb-13 10:13:24

specialsubject you could also argue that the OP is a bit stupid for letting her daughter dye her hair in a bathroom that has just been redone, knowing that she is clumsy and gets the dye everywhere all the time. Especially in a white bathroom in a house they're just about to sell.

When I was sixteen, I was ridiculously clumsy (still am at 24!) and always spilt things or knocked things over. Yelling at me never helped, it just made me ten times more paranoid and even more likely to do it and not care, because all that happened was I got in trouble.

YouTheCat Tue 19-Feb-13 10:11:12

What Tufty said.

I was all set to be sympathetic (have a teen who ruined 3 towels with hair bleach last week) but I can't be bothered now.

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Feb-13 10:08:18

Holly you don't have to be a 'paragon of virtue' to know using the term retarded is simply unacceptable. In any context. Ever.

specialsubject Tue 19-Feb-13 10:03:48

the child has been told repeatedly and is still destructive, and there's no excuse. She gets in there with as much effort as possible to clean up, and all financial input is stopped until the cost of any remaining damage is covered. Might take years of no pocket money, tough.

the child may not be stupid but the behaviour certainly is. OP is excused for going into orbit.

TuftyFinch Tue 19-Feb-13 10:03:36

You lost me at retarded ...

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