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Another thoughtless example of DP's selfishness

(114 Posts)
mumstonic Mon 18-Feb-13 22:42:12

Its my birthday tomorrow. .

DP turned to me a moment ago and said "so, what do you want for your birthday then?"

Translated this means: I haven't got you anything, but I have asked so don't say I didn't try.

My obvious look of disappointment then prompted him to sulk like a child. No doubt my fault for not giving him clear present buying instructions. Arse.

AIBU to be just a little bit pissed off?

AndFanjoWasHisNameO Tue 19-Feb-13 19:20:11

Oh dear hmm hopefully he's running late after arranging your nice surprise [clutching straws emoticon] otherwise he is just being a prize twat.
Happy Birthday anyway lovely, go to bed with a pizza and wine and work out when you're going to throw him out wink

wineandroses Tue 19-Feb-13 19:30:36

Op, please don't wait around at home, take your DC out for a nice meal (even if it's just somewhere like Nandos or Wagamama - kids love those places). Assuming your DC aren't tiny. Though even if they are - one late night won't do any harm.

Does your arse of a husband have any redeeming features? He sounds like a mean, sulky twat to me. And I can't abide meanness - generally it's indicative of a lack of generosity in many things, especially kindness.

Catchingmockingbirds Tue 19-Feb-13 19:47:09

Hopefully the OP hasn't came back yet as she's at her surprise party thrown by her DP.

AScorpionPitForMimes Tue 19-Feb-13 20:03:17

DH and I don't make a big fuss about birthdays, but we definitely get cards and a thoughtful present. It's tricky for DH, because he doesn't drive and there's not much in the way of shops, so he tends to give me money to choose something - but this is fine by me, because you can never have too many pairs of earrings or shoes.

Thing is, this works for us and is by mutual agreement. The OP's OH is just a selfish twat.

Sugarice Tue 19-Feb-13 20:06:35

What a spiteful git he is.

Hope your lack of reply is because you're out having a nice meal.

Update if you can.

deleted203 Tue 19-Feb-13 20:12:36

mumstonic Happy birthday, and hope it has improved somewhat!

Last year's birthday was crap (thanks to him)

This year's birthday was crap (thanks to him)

Does it not tell you that by next year's birthday he needs to be out of the picture entirely?

mumstonic I hope your birthday hasn't been a total wipeout. In guessing by your posts you've had enough.

I hope you & the kids went out & had a nice time? Or something similar. I hope you don't end up rowing on your birthday (1 day a year to be put first is that too much to ask fluckered ?)just ignore him & row tomorrow. x

Snazzynewyear Tue 19-Feb-13 20:20:00

I also hope you've gone out to eat with the kids and left him to come home to an empty house. Selfish git.

My DH is not bothered by cards etc but he knows I am, and because he loves me and wants me to be happy he takes care to get a nice card and present I will like ahead of the day. There is nothing wrong with wanting to celebrate your birthday - if people don't want to that's their choice, but shouldn't make others feel bad for wanting to. It is a fairly widespread custom in our culture after all!

Noodlenoon Tue 19-Feb-13 20:25:55

My husband believes every celebration was invented by the card industry and that it's a waste of trees. I argue that we recycle but he doesn't seem to notice.

YouTheCat Tue 19-Feb-13 22:28:19

Mumstonic, I hope you've managed to have some fun.

NotSoNervous Tue 19-Feb-13 22:34:19

Happy Birthday wine

Your DH is an arse

starfishmummy Tue 19-Feb-13 22:45:42

Yanbu. Mine seems to have forgotten that all he gave me for my birthday was a "silly" book.
He did "investigate" the jewellery I wanted but gave up when he realised he would needed to know the size.
My birthday was in October :-(

starfishmummy Tue 19-Feb-13 22:47:46

Sorry "silly" was his description of the book, which is cross stitch patterns.......
(I do sew, but mixed media textiles rather than cross stitch hence his calling it silly because he knows it is wrong)

mumstonic Wed 20-Feb-13 10:54:58

Thank you everyone for your replies. Sorry I didn't post back.

I took the DCs into town to buy a dvd and a takeaway and when we got back DP was sat on the sofa. His first line was, where have you been and whats the matter with you?

I couldn't be bothered to argue so the DCs and I ate our dinner in the playroom and watched Madagascar 3. DP stomped around for a bit muttering ffs under his breath before eventually going to bed. Nice.

He has called this morning asking if i have calmed down now. I hate that.

AnnieLobeseder Wed 20-Feb-13 11:01:42

Does this wankstain have any redeeming features? It's all about him, isn't it?

And if DH ever called me a selfish bitch for "daring" to go out on my own birthday he would be torn a new one and probably be my ex unless the apology was huge and meant with very deep feeling.

Sugarice Wed 20-Feb-13 11:03:53

mum sorry you had such a shit response from your H.

How are you going to handle this, stew for a bit then forget or not.

What's he like the rest of the time?

ATJabberwocky Wed 20-Feb-13 11:06:38

sorry YABU,

I tell my DP all the time what I want for Christmas and Birthdays, in fact I prefer it this way because I actually get what I want instead of something I will have to pretend to like. Que present face, when you get that ugly jumper or the wrong size lingerie O_O

Sugarice Wed 20-Feb-13 11:10:59

ATJabber have you read the thread from the beginning?

Dahlen Wed 20-Feb-13 11:11:52


Seriously, whether you leave or stay for the rest of your life, not doing something drastic in response to this is NOT an option.

DreamingOfTheMaldives Wed 20-Feb-13 11:16:15

Bloody hell, OP. If this is the way he treats you on your birthday I can't imagine how he treats you the rest of the time! What a complete arse.

Hope you enjoyed your takeaway and film with the kids. Happy belated birthday thanks

hellsbellsmelons Wed 20-Feb-13 11:30:55

Blimey - that is the worst thing you can ever say to a pissed off woman. I would be sending a text back saying 'NO! and I'm not going to, so don't bother coming home if you don't like it!'
He really does sound like a total knob.
From now on, he would be doing his own cooking, washing, shopping and cleaning.
I would be on strike for sure.
Once a year to show how much you appreciate the woman in your life is not a lot to ask.
I hope you didn't give him any of that take away!!!
Think about your future and how you want your birthday to be next year.
Work towards that!

simplesusan Wed 20-Feb-13 11:44:16

Make sure you haven't bought him anything the day before his birthday and let him know. If he makes a fuss tell him that he is making a fuss about nothing as obviously birthdays don't mean anything to him.

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 13:04:49

What a turd. You know if he'd redeemed himself a bit by calling and offering to bring home a takeaway or something he could have avoided this. But he didn't. He sulked and didn't bother answering his phone and has spoilt your birthday, again.

Catchingmockingbirds Wed 20-Feb-13 13:34:40

What an arsehole.

specialsubject Wed 20-Feb-13 13:39:43

it would be ok if he had grown out of birthday presents - but it sounds like he hasn't.

why are you bothering with this relationship? Doesn't sound like either of you get much out of it.

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